Bagpuss, have you come across a book called "The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring "? - Can't remember who wrote it, but it was written with the full aiding and abetting of his "piglet" (his disabled wife). It's serious but light, and puts it that as a carer, you HAVE TO learn to be a bit of a "selfish pig"- because you have your "piglet " to care for. So no point in just waiting and waiting for people to get back to you. (of course, you have to not get their backs up either!). Anyway, I recommend the book, if only because it can shift us out of feeling like officials, doctors, and everyone else is doing us something of a favour by noticing us and the person we care for. They aren't - everyone has the right to live with dignity, free from pain (as much as possible), and be treated with respect. Those with dementia need more help and support to achieve that life. But they- and their carers should be helped to achieve it. xx