Hi sunlight
How I sympathise with your despair at the lack of sleep. I'm afraid this was one of the main facotrs in our family decision that dad had to move into an EMI unit instead of continuing living with us. It was heartbreaking at the time but really was the only way we could cope. He was too challenging for one person to manage during the day, never mind at night. He rarely slept for more than an hour or two at a time and would get up perhaps half a dozen or even more times a night, trying to get out the front door and needing constant attention. All the drugs the GP tried worked for a few nights then seemed to have little effect. The problem is that drugs that are strong enough to make them sleep cause other serious side effects and also increase severely the risk of falls, so rightly doctors are wary of prescribing them. I got to the point where I wanted to take sleeping pills myself if they couldn't get dad to sleep ( I never did of course but that's how I felt!). Although the care decision was a hard one, the EMI unit was much better suited to his needs as he could get up and wander round safely throughout the night as there were always night staff on duty and they would sit with him in the lounge, make him a cup of tea etc. By this time dad was also becoming very challenging in some of his behaviour and often needed two or three people to change him, bath him etc. His behaviour also made it impossible to have anybody round to the house as he would sometimes undress or urinate or even defecate in front of people. For these reasons too it became impossible to take him out.
I'm not suggesting an EMI unit is what you should be considering , just saying that if it becomes necessary, try not to feel guilty as sometimes it is the only way for all of you as a family to survive. Some people with dementia seem to have particularly severe problems with sleep patterns. Although this changes for some in the later stages, it never did for my dad. Hopefully, however, your GP will be able to come up with a drug that will work more effectively and / or you will be able to follow up the night carer options (not heard of this but sounds brilliant idea). Hope this post hasn't made you feel even worse, just thought you might feel supported knowing that others have felt as desperate as you do now. The doctors often were dismissive about how little dad slept, saying he must be sleeping during the day, but the EMI staff actually did a log of his sleep patterns over a period of a few weeks and proved how little he slept. I know i felt close to a breakdown in the later stages when dad was living with us as I just could not function with so much interrupted sleep. I really hope you are able to get the right help.
Blue sea