Sleep patterns

[love.dad.but..]

And there is always that chance with any decision we have to make for our pwd however it may also be the natural decline of the illness that may bring changes anyway. I think you perhaps have to ask yourself again .... is there any other option in this situation from what you have described...and the answer will still be the same however harsh an action it seems you made it from sound reasoning for dog and your mum.In moderate dementia dad whilst obviously extremely distressed and traumatised by the sudden death of mum in their home adjusted as the months went by probably because he declined and on a different level I had to sell his much loved car from under his nose that he constantly kept checking on during the day and night to make sure it was still on the drive...after a couple of weeks he stopped looking and forgot about it.

 

[Tin]

Thanks
I didn't think it would be so hard, mums Alzheimer's has deteriorated so quickly I've hardly had chance to take it all in. She loves the dog and tells me she's her whole world and even said it would kill her not to have the dog. This breaks my heart, I am really worried in case it makes her worse.

This is exactly what my mum would say to me, the truth is, all her love was killing the dog. It had got to the point where I knew she was giving the dog chocolate biscuits in place of proper dog food. Preparing some food for herself but instead of eating it she would put it down for the dog and her house was a mess, because she was not letting the dog out in the garden, mum being very nervous that dog would run away or someone would kidnap her. All of this anxiety came with mum when they moved in with me, many wrong things being done and one of these was that mum would get hold of scissors and cut out all the knotted fur and when I looked closer I realised that mum must have been doing this for some time, because there were small scratches on the dog!

Only because I had said yes to the dog coming here have things improved, but honestly if I had said no then rehoming would have been looked at. My sister had said that she would take the dog, she works full time, so not ideal.

I don't think it will make your mother worse, but it will cause her some anxiety and confusion
which may take some time to pass and will distress you, but if you can rehome successfully and hopefully get regular updates then it may give you some peace. No doubt though that this is heart breaking.

A short while ago there was someone posting on here about how she was forced to take her mother's dog away to live with her. I think it was a success because there have been no updates. Over the years I have seen other postings about the same thing so you are not alone with this one.

 

[spbeagle]

Thanks
I didn't think it would be so hard, mums Alzheimer's has deteriorated so quickly I've hardly had chance to take it all in. She loves the dog and tells me she's her whole world and even said it would kill her not to have the dog. This breaks my heart, I am really worried in case it makes her worse.

This might sound daft but perhaps you could consider getting your Mum a soft toy dog which she could cuddle and take to bed at night. One of the residents in Mum's care home was given a battery operated soft toy dog which moves its head and barks ( when switched on). He loves his dog, has named it rover, carries it around with him stroking it and takes it to bed at night.

 

[Mily24]

This is exactly what my mum would say to me, the truth is, all her love was killing the dog. It had got to the point where I knew she was giving the dog chocolate biscuits in place of proper dog food. Preparing some food for herself but instead of eating it she would put it down for the dog and her house was a mess, because she was not letting the dog out in the garden, mum being very nervous that dog would run away or someone would kidnap her. All of this anxiety came with mum when they moved in with me, many wrong things being done and one of these was that mum would get hold of scissors and cut out all the knotted fur and when I looked closer I realised that mum must have been doing this for some time, because there were small scratches on the dog!

Only because I had said yes to the dog coming here have things improved, but honestly if I had said no then rehoming would have been looked at. My sister had said that she would take the dog, she works full time, so not ideal.

I don't think it will make your mother worse, but it will cause her some anxiety and confusion
which may take some time to pass and will distress you, but if you can rehome successfully and hopefully get regular updates then it may give you some peace. No doubt though that this is heart breaking.

A short while ago there was someone posting on here about how she was forced to take her mother's dog away to live with her. I think it was a success because there have been no updates. Over the years I have seen other postings about the same thing so you are not alone with this one.

Thanks
I took the dog to the vets on Friday and they have told me that she is in the final stages of kidney failure and to move her now would too upsetting for the dog. Stopping my mum from feeding her will be hard and how do I prepare her for the dogs death? She has weeks left to live this is the worse thing that could have happened and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

 

[Mily24]

And there is always that chance with any decision we have to make for our pwd however it may also be the natural decline of the illness that may bring changes anyway. I think you perhaps have to ask yourself again .... is there any other option in this situation from what you have described...and the answer will still be the same however harsh an action it seems you made it from sound reasoning for dog and your mum.In moderate dementia dad whilst obviously extremely distressed and traumatised by the sudden death of mum in their home adjusted as the months went by probably because he declined and on a different level I had to sell his much loved car from under his nose that he constantly kept checking on during the day and night to make sure it was still on the drive...after a couple of weeks he stopped looking and forgot about it.

I took the dog to the vets on Friday and they have told me that she is in the final stages of kidney failure and to move her now would too upsetting for the dog. Stopping my mum from feeding her will be hard and how do I prepare her for the dogs death? She has weeks left to live this is the worse thing that could have happened and I'm not sure how to deal with it. The dog was my dads, he died a few years ago. Ill take any advice at the moment

 

[love.dad.but..]

I took the dog to the vets on Friday and they have told me that she is in the final stages of kidney failure and to move her now would too upsetting for the dog. Stopping my mum from feeding her will be hard and how do I prepare her for the dogs death? She has weeks left to live this is the worse thing that could have happened and I'm not sure how to deal with it. The dog was my dads, he died a few years ago. Ill take any advice at the moment

That accounts for the dog wetting then. I am sorry your dad's dog is in a bad way. The trouble I can see is as much as you or the vet had said not to move the dog...if your mum is unable to care for dog that is healthy...she won't be able to meet or understand the dogs end of life needs keeping the dog comfortable and pain free and that isn't fair on the dog. Plus if someone isn't with your mum all the time the dog may die when she is on her own and how will she be able to cope with that or understand until you or a carer calls? I know this is very hard to consider but if it was me I would keep the dog as comfortable as possible for the next day or so at your mum's so she has a good final memory if she can retain and then see if the dog can go elsewhere for end of life...even the vets if necessary.

 

[Mily24]

That accounts for the dog wetting then. I am sorry your dad's dog is in a bad way. The trouble I can see is as much as you or the vet had said not to move the dog...if your mum is unable to care for dog that is healthy...she won't be able to meet or understand the dogs end of life needs keeping the dog comfortable and pain free and that isn't fair on the dog. Plus if someone isn't with your mum all the time the dog may die when she is on her own and how will she be able to cope with that or understand until you or a carer calls? I know this is very hard to consider but if it was me I would keep the dog as comfortable as possible for the next day or so at your mum's so she has a good final memory if she can retain and then see if the dog can go elsewhere for end of life...even the vets if necessary.

Thanks
The dog has a few months to live and doesn't require medication, just a special diet, after speaking to the vet she has told me that the dog wont die suddenly, the first sign will be that she will stop eating and eventually not be interested in anything. Regular blood tests will tell me how quickly she is declining. My mum has carers going in three times a day who have been instructed to keep the dog away at the times my mum eats and she wears a tshirt that asks her not to feed her treats as it hurts her tummy.
I have employed a lady to go in everyday to help my mum with everyday things, look after the dog, take her out etc etc .

Is better to tell my mum when the dog has died or tell her that she is out or at the groomers etc until she forgets about the dog completely?

I really don't know the best way to tell her.