Sister has financial p9wer of àttorney but is a bully

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Frankieisblue, Jan 7, 2016.

  1. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Mum and I want to look after dad , with home help , as long as possible , she just wants him in a home and if she can keep chipping away at mum will try and do it ..........sale of house will then be used to pay off care home bills .......she said she will do this if mum dies before dad anyway

    I live with mum and dad in his will and in my mothers has left two thirds of the house to me to be administered by a trust fund as I have mental health problems .......trouble is my sister cares not one not for me .....what are my legal rights to stop my sister using the estate to pay for care home bills and leave me with nothing when mum and dad have gone ?
     
  2. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    #2 Pickles53, Jan 7, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2016
    I am sorry but I don't think that the provisions of your father's and mother's will have any effect on what happens while they are still alive.

    Otherwise lots of people would use their wills to try and avoid their houses being sold to,pay for care.

    However, even if your dad did move to a care home the house would be disregarded so long as your mum continued to live in it and possibly also because of your own circumstances and health issues. I'll see if I can find the relevant section of the new care act guidance and post a link.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/uploa.../file/366104/43380_23902777_Care_Act_Book.pdf


    See Annex B, paragraph 34 which sets out when a property is disregarded.
     
  3. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Im sorry to say Frankie that the will is only valid when your parents die. Im not sure about your rights to live in your family home which can stop your sister selling it. Someone who knows will be along soon. You might be classed as s vulnerable adult. Can you talk to your GP or a social worker about your worries. We are here for you so take it a day at a time and stay strong.
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    As Pickles says I think there is a disregard of the house because of your situation. You could also go to Citizens Advice and ask them to look at it for you - a face to face conversation might be most helpful for you.

    So sorry you are going through this alongside everything else xx
     
  5. AlsoConfused

    AlsoConfused Registered User

    Sep 17, 2010
    1,958
    You need better informed advice than I can offer - try the Citizens Advice Bureau or brief free advice from a solicitor.

    That said, my instinctive reaction is as following:-

    - your Mum's living in the house so the house can't be sold off to pay your Dad's care fees (because she has a 50% share of the house)

    - you may have personal legal rights that would allow you to stay in the house for as long as you would want to, making any attempt by anyone at selling it unfeasible. You're a vulnerable person who would be made homeless if the house was sold, you may also be over 60.
     
  6. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,589
    The house will be disregarded as long as your Mother is living.
    Wills only come into effect after a person has died.

    'Mental health problems' is a broad sweep and does not signify that a person is vulnerable or disabled.

    If your illness is diagnosed to the extent that you are classed as disabled then you will be protected to a certain extent.

    You need to seek some advice, if you have a Social Worker there will be someone on their team who will act as an advocate for you, vulnerable adults are protected but of course this all must be diagnosed and have a label...otherwise everyone would jump on the bandwagon to avoid paying for care.
     
  7. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,759
    Salford
    As has been said Frankie, talk to someone who can see the whole picture, what you can say on here is limited as it's too personal.
    But whatever you do don't give in to sis, ignore the bullying or just say "we'll see" and smile. I don't know what her agenda is but you need to sit down and talk the whole thing through with all the cards on the table, do you have a local AZ society or Age UK who might be able to help?
    K
     
  8. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    #8 Frankieisblue, Jan 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2016
    Thank you all very much for your wonderful help

    With great thanks to you all

    I have severe treatment resistant depression , generalised anxiety disorder and ocd , I have been under the care of a consultant psychiatrist for 18 years
     
  9. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Diagnosis

    Unable to work due to severe treatment resistant depression , ocd and anxiety , on incapacity benefit ....or ESA as its now called and disability living allowance ......soon to be replaced by pip
     
  10. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Up again early this morning

    Helping him with toilet needs
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,214
    Female
    South coast
    This does rather sound like you would count as a vulnerable adult (but dont take my word for it).
    It may be that your sister has been given poor advice about paying for care home fees. Too often, if there is a house involved then the Social Worker just assumes that it will count towards their savings and will need to be sold. She may not realise that there are clauses to disregard the house.
    I agree with others - get some extra help from CAB/Alz Society/Age UK. I found Age UK very helpful when sorting out mums Attendance Allowance.
     
  12. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Thank you my friend

    Many thanks
     

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