1. Hi all this may appear to be daft but i was sorting through some old pictures to give to my sister as she hardly has anything of mum and dad. So there i was wading through pictures and i found an old Mothers day card from me to my mum. And one thing i had wrote in it was "Thanks for everything you do for me" well it was like being kicked in the face i was crying my eyes out i then found a note my mum had left to my grandad she used to do this to let him know were she was. All its says is "Dad gone down to the shops with Lady(our old dog) see you soon Jill and Ray and its in her writing and i just cant throw it away. Ive been suffering really bad with depression again so i went to the Gp and got on tablets Lofepramine but there making me worse with Nausea,paranoia and i feel teary all the time. All i feel latley is i bet Mum would be really disappointed in me. Im off to see her on the 18th and i dont know if i can face it.

    Hope you're all well

    Mark
     
  2. Daisy123

    Daisy123 Registered User

    Jul 15, 2007
    10
    village nr Swansea
    I don't think it's daft at all.....it's always the little/simple things that catch you out.
     
  3. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello Mark

    Why would your Mum be disappointed with you?

    She has kept a card you sent her, she wouldn't have done that if she didn't love you very much would she?

    You suffer from depression which is not your fault any more than having AZ is your Mum's fault.

    Tell your GP about the side effects of the medication and see if he can change them.

    You cope the best you can, I think she would be proud that you are able to be open and honest about how you are feeling.

    Don't anticipate a bad visit on the 18th, itf you go in with an open mind, you might be pleasantly surprised at how well you cope.

    Kathleen
    x
     
  4. candi

    candi Registered User

    May 6, 2007
    32
    norwich norfolk
    hi Mark; it's not daft i had that same reaction just a little while ago. i had borrowed some books that my mum had and inside one i found her work car park pass( could'nt belive that just 8 months ago she was using it) it felt like i had been kicked in the stomach, could'nt cry though, wish i could but i feel if i start crying i will never stop. as daisy said it's the simple things that catch us out. take care love candi
     
  5. Nebiroth

    Nebiroth Registered User

    Aug 20, 2006
    3,518
    Oh but it's always the little things that catch us off guard, isn't it?

    Rumaging through things the other day I found a picture of our lovely old moggie, who died years and years ago, and burst into tears for about ten minutes!

    These things happen when you're feeling very emotional.

    It sounds as though you need to speak to your GP about the Lofepramine.

    Anti-depressants are one of those things, where you may have to hunt until you find something that will suit you.

    When I got very depressed a few years ago I got very emtional and would burst into tears at the drop of a hat, or really, for no reason at all.
     
  6. sue k

    sue k Registered User

    Jun 26, 2007
    140
    warrington cheshire
    hiya mark

    maybe now its time you went back to the drs and told him about the side effects youre experiencing.

    As for crying , yes , me too, all sorts set me off
    mostly older men i see out and about enjoying life , riding their bikes , out shopping with their family, spending time with their grand children.............. i feel my dad has been deprived of all of that and it really does break my heart

    xx
     
  7. strawberrywhip

    strawberrywhip Registered User

    Jun 26, 2006
    76
    kent
    Diferent life

    It is so sad ...

    This is a new and different life, and we didnt anticipate old age being like this. I think we are all grieving but our relatives are still with us....

    We have battled through with MIL at home, and are grateful she is now in a home and settling. ..

    But she is so fit ..and if her brain hadn`t let her down she would have been continuing to enjoy her friends her gardening, lunch club and life . She loved using her bus pass.. enjoyed the freedom it gave her. It is tragic. Silly things like her old huge casserole dish we found when sorting the house out..she used to make grannies special stew for the family and the grandchildren which they loved .... never again ...
     
  8. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Mark

    Before you can do anthing about your current situation you need to sort out your depression and I speak from personal experience.

    My GP was wonderful spending precious time talking to me and she prescribed citalopram which took 2 weeks to take effect. This set me on an even keel so that I was able to deal with all the other problems after I was able to get them in prospective.

    All this happened 18 months ago and last Friday I finally came off medication and with a bit of luck I can put my experience behind me. Make no mistake if I slip downhill again I will be on citalopram faster then you can shake a stick for I now know that it is not addictive and withdrawl only took me a month.

    Good luck and let us know how we get on.

    Dick
     
  9. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Mark,
    This is good advise from Dick. My hubby suffers depression and it can be quite debilitating. I do hope that you get on top of things soon. Maybe, not a wise thing for you at present to be going through cards and photos of your mum. I hope all goes well with your visit on the 18th. Take Care. Taffy.
     
  10. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    I have been on Citalopram three weeks. The first two weeks it made me a bit dizzy, but there was something extra stressful going on simultaneously so I'm not sure if the Citalopram was entirely to blame. I felt a little lifted almost immediately and I continue to feel 'on a more even keel', just as Dick describes.

    Don't forget to take care of yourself physically, cut down the late nights, try and get some rest and fresh air. You are doing as much as you can for your mum.

    Finally, I sometimes dread going in to see my mum and, like Kathleen says, above, there is often a better outcome than I had hoped. Almost every visit I feel calmer and better for having seen her. ( She seems to enjoy it too!) Take care of yourself, Deborah x
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,664
    Kent
    Dear Deborah,

    What a lovely post. Visiting is often so painful, it`s a pleasure to hear how good it is for you.

    Love xx
     
  12. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #12 Margarita, Aug 9, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2007
    I Wonder with ant depression tablets , it can't completely Zonk out all those emotional feeling , that is triggered by a memory , as that what I thought would happen when I took then few years back block it all out in what is happening to my mother , I did not want to feel the pain , have the tears .

    I stilled felt teary when a memory triggered those tears , only think that did happen was that I could control them more to think straight and not want to hit the drink to block those feeling , making me more depress .

    its not only taking a tablet and it all go away , its to do with a lot of self help, insight, recognizing to why your depress , acknowledging those feeling emotions , coming to team within yourself in what your feeling also in what happening to our mums , if that possible for me it has but has taken over 5 years to get they .

    the ant depression tablets help you along that journey to see thing clearer so you can do self help on yourself, or other wise your be on them all your life .

    sometime now I can get so down, but I no why I am depressed , so I don't surprise those tears and all I need is a swim I feel better think straight and can concentrate better , but that just me in how I help myself.

    keep taking them , don't mix them with to much alcohol , or they won't work as good and just make you more depress , not saying your do that , it just that it happen to me . its all up to you Mark only you can help yourself
     
  13. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Deborah

    Your advice in my experience is right on the button, it is not simply a matter of popping a pill in your mouth, but adjusting to a healthier life style. No more binge eating or drinking, take healthy outdoor exercise and take things slowly.

    Meds are only a way of allowing us the time and perspective to get our life in order and not an answer in themselves. Having come off citalopram I am not as calm as I was when taking them but I am in the real world, with a clear head and hopefully I am now able to cope. Be assured if the situation changes I will let you all know so that you can learn from my mistakes.

    Love to you all

    Dick
     
  14. babyface

    babyface Registered User

    Apr 30, 2007
    16
    Nottingham
    Hi Mark,

    I could have wrote this myself.Ive been sitting alone in the garden in deep thought today,just closing my eyes & thinking of mum.I really wish i could phone & speak to her.I miss her so much & feel incredibely sad today.Last night i had a dream that i went to Mums house,i knew nobody lived there anymore,but as i walked up the stairs i shouted "mum",i slowley opened my bedroom door my heart beating fast...then i heard her voice call me & she was there...i wanted to hug her but the dream ended & i woke up.

    I am also visiting mum on the 18th & im feeling very anxious about it.My last visit didnt go well as she wouldnt come near me & Dad tells me shes the same with him.I also take medication for depression.The first two weeks i felt lousy but once the side affect stopped i felt o.k.They just helped me with the anxiety & panic attacks i was getting.

    Well i just want to say my thoughts are with you,& dont be hard on yourself,your mum loves you very much.

    Take Care
    Luv Babyface.XX
     

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