Hi Thank you so much to those of you who replied to my dilemma question a few weeks ago. I just thought I'd give an update as may be helpful to any others in the same predicament. My dad was present moments after my mum's death as they lived in the same care home. However the next morning he only remembered that "she didn't look too bright." I asked him the following week if he remembered what had happened. He said he did and wanted to come to the funeral. In that way it took some pressure off me making the decision. A couple of days before the funeral I showed him his suit and he didn't know what it was for. I was still having serious doubts about him coming but thought he should be there as they were married 45 years and he does have moments where he understands what's going on. Anyway he sat next to me during the service in a wheelchair. As the coffin was brought in and my mum's music was played my dad turned to me and said "there's not someone in there is there?" In that moment I knew what a mistake it was him coming. He felt cold in the church, needed the toilet and got unsettled (despite wearing a pad). I sent him home early with a member of staff from the care home. So if any of you are in the same situation I would say it's not a great idea the dementia sufferer attending. He didn't know what was going on. On the other hand for me it provided relief to know I had at least tried to include him. At least I won't have the regrets of thinking "I should have brought dad".