We quite upset tonight as I overheard a couple of residents at my mum's care home talking about me bringing my young daughter in to see my mum. They said it's no place for a young child. It's something I've done ever since mum moved to the care home nearly a year ago and the other residents love to see a young child. It would devastate mum if I stopped taking her to visit - maybe I'm wrong advice please !!
Should I visit mum with my young daughter ?
- Thread starter Portia100874
- Start date
If your daughter isn't upset by visiting your mum where she is then keep taking her, it's nobody else's business what you do. Children bring happiness to lots of older people.
And some care homes have programs that bring preschoolers in to visit on a regular basis.
Hello @Portia100874
Perhaps those residents don`t have their own younger family members visiting them and this is what they`ve been told as an excuse.
As long as your daughter isn`t disturbed there`s no worry and well done to you for continuing to take her to see her gran.
Perhaps those residents don`t have their own younger family members visiting them and this is what they`ve been told as an excuse.
As long as your daughter isn`t disturbed there`s no worry and well done to you for continuing to take her to see her gran.
We used to take young children to visit my mum in her care home. A care home is supposed to be just that - a home - so of course you should take your daughter to see her granny, just as you would if she were still living in her own home.
My son has taken his own son to visit his grandma in her home. Everyone was pleased to see him and the old ladies cooed over him. There was never any problem - and this was in a dedicated dementia unit where some strange behaviour was often apparent! If your daughters not upset then I would just ignore those comments
Children have that innate "I see what I see" awareness, without the 'baggage' that we, as adults, carry in our heads most of the time. I have seen quite moving moments,when children or indeed animals (cats, puppies, donkey ...) have been presented in an EMI unit. Clearly, you do not wish to upset any child in any circumstances, but I have also seen children simply 'bewildered' by agitated events and not frightened. The answer lies in the word 'devastate mum' and the constant application of real care in respect of 'quality of life'. Your young daughter clearly enhances that 'quality' in your mother. Therein must you find the obvious answer.
If your daughter isn't upset then absolutely you should. In dad's NH pre schoolers and young people of all ages were invited to visit as a group to sing to chat. A natural environment should be encouraged by the home and this includes all ages that the residents would see and engage with in the outside world. Perhaps speak to a senior member of staff who could gently speak to those residents to reinforce hopefully that this is also the home's view...of course if they do not have capacity it will make no difference and a tolerant smile by you will be needed but don't be put off. Young children don't make the judgements of what they see like some adults
It's none of their business. If your daughter and you are happy with the situation and it makes your mum happy, that's all that matters.
My children are aged from 10-16 and all go. My 14 year old son often goes without me on his way home from school. The staff are fine with this.
My children are aged from 10-16 and all go. My 14 year old son often goes without me on his way home from school. The staff are fine with this.
Our granddaughter took our great grandson to see my husband several times a week from a baby. He was still visiting up until he was seven when my husband passed away, in school holidays he went with me complete with a packed lunch which he ate while I gave my husband his lunch.
He was happy to sit in the lounge with the other men, he gave out chocolates to them and never minded the bear hugs or the pats on the head. The Carers spoilt him with treats from the kitchen. He accepted my husband’s illness without a problem and was never frightened.
One of our other grandchildren was about 16 when my husband went into care and she loved to visit too, she said she loved going, no one else had 8 extra Granddads like she did. It was a challenging behaviour floor of nine men.
So as long as your daughter is not frightened or disturbed by visiting please keep taking her. Relationships with grandparents are precious for both child and grandparent and Wonderful that you take her.
He was happy to sit in the lounge with the other men, he gave out chocolates to them and never minded the bear hugs or the pats on the head. The Carers spoilt him with treats from the kitchen. He accepted my husband’s illness without a problem and was never frightened.
One of our other grandchildren was about 16 when my husband went into care and she loved to visit too, she said she loved going, no one else had 8 extra Granddads like she did. It was a challenging behaviour floor of nine men.
So as long as your daughter is not frightened or disturbed by visiting please keep taking her. Relationships with grandparents are precious for both child and grandparent and Wonderful that you take her.
I never knew my grandparents (one side passed away at the time I was born, the other side lived in another continent). I always felt like I had missed out, and I would have liked to have seen a granny or grandpa in any shape or form.
Fast forward thirty years, and I am looking after my own mother, it has come as a huge, huge shock (for a multitude of reasons), I think also in part because I never really saw any old age, for better for worse, before.
My little son lives with his granny with dementia. Of course it does her no end of good, but, I am choosing to think that I am giving my son a balanced picture of the human condition and that youth and health must never be taken for granted.
Fast forward thirty years, and I am looking after my own mother, it has come as a huge, huge shock (for a multitude of reasons), I think also in part because I never really saw any old age, for better for worse, before.
My little son lives with his granny with dementia. Of course it does her no end of good, but, I am choosing to think that I am giving my son a balanced picture of the human condition and that youth and health must never be taken for granted.
Do bear in mind that the other residents may be suffering from dementia too - tact turned off completely, if they were like my Mil!
I think that it is wonderful that you take your children in - beneficial for all, as long as you are comfortable with it.
I think that it is wonderful that you take your children in - beneficial for all, as long as you are comfortable with it.
My little grandson was the only one guaranteed to cheer my mum up when she was in her care home. She loved just watching him play with his toys - and the other residents seemed to enjoy seeing him too. It felt like normal life for us all to be together.
