Should I tell her?

[Gill66]

Hi All
Been a while since I have been on here.
My Mum has now been diagnosed and is being treated for Alzheimers. She has no idea that this is what it is. She thinks it's just a 'bit of a memory problem'. Should I try and explain to her? Will she understand? I find that each time the Dr from Mental Health Services comes to see her we get a sudden dip afterwards. She suddenely becomes worse. I'm sure she thinks I don't care when she tells me there are people trying to break into her flat, or actually people in there and I don't react in the way she expects. I know there's nobody there. The Dr has never told her what he is treating her for. Is there a reason for this?
My husband thinks I should try and get Power of Attorney before she gets any worse but I'm not sure how to tackle this either.
Can anyone offer any advice on their experiences?
Thsnks

 

[Christin]

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=154

Hello, my FIL never accepted that he has any form of dementia, although last year he did admit he had some problems with his memory. However by then the GP said he did not have the capacity to sign on his behalf and had to go through the Court of Protection.

I do think your husband is right though that now is the time to begin organising POA, and the link above may help you.

It is a very difficult personal decision as to whether you tell you mother and try to explain about her illness. I do feel for you.

 

[Izzy]

I just wrote about this on another thread! With my husband we just call it memory problems. With my mum we don't really refer to the vascular dementia at all.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello:
I agree this is such a personal decision and so much depends on how your Mother can handle illness.

The diagnosis was confirmed to my husband and me by the Psychologist in a very straight forward manner. Afterwards we had lots of hugs and said we would deal with it in the same way as kidney or heart disease or indeed cancer.

At first my husband did not want others to know but it soon became general knowledge. Once admitted we received much support from genuine friends.

As the disease progressed he kept asking 'what is wrong with me?'.

It is wise to get on with the LPA - delaying may cause even more problems. We did ours together on the basis 'if anything happened to either of us'. Perhaps if you emphasise to your Mother that it is part of a Will and the LPA does not need to be registered immediately.