1. eden

    eden Registered User

    Nov 23, 2003
    12
    Kent
    I just feel the need to post this here, maybe because I know you will all understand.

    My mum died this afternoon. She had a heart attack in hospital and although they revived her once they told my dad the best thing would be to let her go and not try again. I missed her by 10 minutes.

    I am so so sad that her last few days were filled with such distress and unhappiness. I wanted her to die at home with her beloved cat and her garden and things, not alone with strangers. I believe what the bible says , that she is now resting and asleep. But how to fill the gap she has left...

    Thankyou all for your advice when I have posted a question. I wish you all well.

    eden
     
  2. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    Be strong Eden - you're in our thoughts. Hold onto the fact that your Mum's torment is over.

    She's still with you and always will be.

    Kriss
     
  3. karen_white

    karen_white Registered User

    Apr 21, 2004
    72
    Berkshire
    So, so sorry to hear that Eden.
    You're in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  4. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Thinking of you with much sadness. A garden is something so peaceful to sit in and also a lovely monument to its creator. Try to enjoy a quiet kind memory moment together with the cat when you're ready.

    Love
    Chesca
     
  5. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Eden
    Mom's worries and confusions are over now,look back and remember the good times when you had your real mum,and believe that she is still with you,keep in touch
    very very best wishes
    Norman
     
  6. thompsonsom

    thompsonsom Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    97
    halifax
    Dear Eden

    I am so sorry to hear your mum passed away today. She has been through so much that although you will find it hard at least you will know her suffering is over and she will now be at peace. I know what you are going through as i went through a similar thing with my mum who had emphysema and got took into hospital unable to breath, it was touch and go as to wether she would survive and an anthatist was called to put her under, she was begging me at the time to help her but there was nothing i could do and it tore me in two. She survived that episode but had another severe asthma attack a couple of months after and died from an heart failure. It has been 11 years at the end of september and whilst i wish she was here and still miss her i would never want her back in the condition she was in. Her suffering was over for which i was grateful and i knew the inselfish thing was to let her go, i am sure you will feel the same once you get over the shock.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Janice
     
  7. snuffyuk

    snuffyuk Registered User

    Jul 8, 2004
    188
    Near Bristol
    Hello there.

    Really sorry to here about your mum and you not being there.
    After some years of trying for a baby I eventually conceived. My dear dad was not to well at the time so my mum told me not to tell him. A week later he died not knowing my news.

    Your mum and my dad will know our thoughts and worries.I truly believe they are resting in peace.

    You must cry and grieve "let it out".
    Best wishes
     
  8. janey

    janey Registered User

    Jun 29, 2004
    86
    I'm so sorry eden. Thinking of you.
    Jane
     
  9. Charlie

    Charlie Registered User

    Apr 1, 2003
    161
    Hi Eden,

    Your mother is now at peace but it must be an emotional rollercoaster for you at the moment. Our thoughts are with you and please let us know if you need any support - this is a good place to be open about feelings.

    Take care
    Charlie...
     
  10. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,702
    Female
    Dundee
    Thinking of you.

    Izzy
     
  11. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hello Eden

    I'd like to add my condolences also.

    You say "But how to fill the gap she has left..."

    While you can no longer visit her and see her, she is still there in your heart and your mind, only now she doesn't have the burden.

    When my Mum died [not of dementia], I rooted through all the pictures I had of her, since she was 3, and scanned them all into the computer to make a CD that would keep this stuff safely. I know my much younger brother was very happy to have the CD, and producing it helped me in the grieving process. Now her grandchildren also have the record of her life.

    You don't have to have all the fancy PC gear - a photo album does the job too.

    Might put her life into a more complete context, perhaps?

    Anyway, I'm starting to write too much now.

    I wish you peace in the time to come.

    Best wishes,
     
  12. carol

    carol Registered User

    Jun 24, 2004
    196
    Surrey/Hampshire
    Hello Eden,

    I am so sorry to read of the death of your Mother. Thinking of you and your family at this very sad time.

    Love Carol
     
  13. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Eden,

    I am thinking of you very strongly in your grief.

    Jude xxx
     
  14. susie

    susie Registered User

    Nov 30, 2003
    82
    shropshire
    Dear Eden
    Sorry to hear about your Mum and my thoughts are with you.This is a terrible time for you and no words can really help to ease your feelings. Take your time to grieve and to remember some of the happier times. As you can see from the posts, there are a lot of people thinking of you.
    Susie
     
  15. kate34

    kate34 Registered User

    Sep 23, 2003
    51
    hi eden, thinking of you

    HI Eden, so sorry to hear of your loss..
    I lost my Dad in May, but while I do miss him and have my ups and downs as is the course of grief, I am glad he is at last at peace. My regards to you.
     
  16. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    With sympathy

    Deepest sympathies eden.
     
  17. eden

    eden Registered User

    Nov 23, 2003
    12
    Kent
    Many thanks

    Thanks for all the messages. I sort of want the world to stop and take notice of what has just happened - so to read yr messages is comforting.

    Thanks for asking Nada. Very up and down. Funeral on Thursday and dad is saying he can't attend which I think he might regret later. No-one knows quite what to say or do and I don't know how to behave either. Its a very big change from full-on caring to zilch.
     
  18. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Eden

    Your emotions must be all over the place. I don't believe there are any rules of behaviour for grief, it is something so deeply personal and how it manifests itself should not be for others to judge. You've lost a very loved Mum and you've also lost your job - your routine will be all over the place. I've never found my rhythm since Mum went into a nursing home; I'd had such a routine!

    Sending you kind thoughts from me and mine
    Chesca
     
  19. Bugsy

    Bugsy Registered User

    Jun 1, 2004
    20
    Rochester, Kent
    Deepest Sympathy

    Just to let you know I am thinking about you.

    As we know with the passing of each day we have yet another challenge to deal with.

    Fondest wishes
     
  20. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Eden

    How was today for you? Hope your're holding it together best you can.

    Thinking of you.
    Chesca
     

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