She died today.

eden

Registered User
Nov 23, 2003
12
Kent
I just feel the need to post this here, maybe because I know you will all understand.

My mum died this afternoon. She had a heart attack in hospital and although they revived her once they told my dad the best thing would be to let her go and not try again. I missed her by 10 minutes.

I am so so sad that her last few days were filled with such distress and unhappiness. I wanted her to die at home with her beloved cat and her garden and things, not alone with strangers. I believe what the bible says , that she is now resting and asleep. But how to fill the gap she has left...

Thankyou all for your advice when I have posted a question. I wish you all well.

eden
 

Kriss

Registered User
May 20, 2004
513
Shropshire
Be strong Eden - you're in our thoughts. Hold onto the fact that your Mum's torment is over.

She's still with you and always will be.

Kriss
 
C

Chesca

Guest
Thinking of you with much sadness. A garden is something so peaceful to sit in and also a lovely monument to its creator. Try to enjoy a quiet kind memory moment together with the cat when you're ready.

Love
Chesca
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Eden
Mom's worries and confusions are over now,look back and remember the good times when you had your real mum,and believe that she is still with you,keep in touch
very very best wishes
Norman
 

thompsonsom

Registered User
Jul 4, 2004
97
halifax
Dear Eden

I am so sorry to hear your mum passed away today. She has been through so much that although you will find it hard at least you will know her suffering is over and she will now be at peace. I know what you are going through as i went through a similar thing with my mum who had emphysema and got took into hospital unable to breath, it was touch and go as to wether she would survive and an anthatist was called to put her under, she was begging me at the time to help her but there was nothing i could do and it tore me in two. She survived that episode but had another severe asthma attack a couple of months after and died from an heart failure. It has been 11 years at the end of september and whilst i wish she was here and still miss her i would never want her back in the condition she was in. Her suffering was over for which i was grateful and i knew the inselfish thing was to let her go, i am sure you will feel the same once you get over the shock.

My thoughts are with you.

Janice
 

snuffyuk

Registered User
Jul 8, 2004
188
Near Bristol
Hello there.

Really sorry to here about your mum and you not being there.
After some years of trying for a baby I eventually conceived. My dear dad was not to well at the time so my mum told me not to tell him. A week later he died not knowing my news.

Your mum and my dad will know our thoughts and worries.I truly believe they are resting in peace.

You must cry and grieve "let it out".
Best wishes
 

Charlie

Registered User
Apr 1, 2003
161
Hi Eden,

Your mother is now at peace but it must be an emotional rollercoaster for you at the moment. Our thoughts are with you and please let us know if you need any support - this is a good place to be open about feelings.

Take care
Charlie...
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hello Eden

I'd like to add my condolences also.

You say "But how to fill the gap she has left..."

While you can no longer visit her and see her, she is still there in your heart and your mind, only now she doesn't have the burden.

When my Mum died [not of dementia], I rooted through all the pictures I had of her, since she was 3, and scanned them all into the computer to make a CD that would keep this stuff safely. I know my much younger brother was very happy to have the CD, and producing it helped me in the grieving process. Now her grandchildren also have the record of her life.

You don't have to have all the fancy PC gear - a photo album does the job too.

Might put her life into a more complete context, perhaps?

Anyway, I'm starting to write too much now.

I wish you peace in the time to come.

Best wishes,
 

susie

Registered User
Nov 30, 2003
82
shropshire
Dear Eden
Sorry to hear about your Mum and my thoughts are with you.This is a terrible time for you and no words can really help to ease your feelings. Take your time to grieve and to remember some of the happier times. As you can see from the posts, there are a lot of people thinking of you.
Susie
 

kate34

Registered User
Sep 23, 2003
51
hi eden, thinking of you

HI Eden, so sorry to hear of your loss..
I lost my Dad in May, but while I do miss him and have my ups and downs as is the course of grief, I am glad he is at last at peace. My regards to you.
 

eden

Registered User
Nov 23, 2003
12
Kent
Many thanks

Thanks for all the messages. I sort of want the world to stop and take notice of what has just happened - so to read yr messages is comforting.

Thanks for asking Nada. Very up and down. Funeral on Thursday and dad is saying he can't attend which I think he might regret later. No-one knows quite what to say or do and I don't know how to behave either. Its a very big change from full-on caring to zilch.
 
C

Chesca

Guest
Dear Eden

Your emotions must be all over the place. I don't believe there are any rules of behaviour for grief, it is something so deeply personal and how it manifests itself should not be for others to judge. You've lost a very loved Mum and you've also lost your job - your routine will be all over the place. I've never found my rhythm since Mum went into a nursing home; I'd had such a routine!

Sending you kind thoughts from me and mine
Chesca
 

Bugsy

Registered User
Jun 1, 2004
20
Rochester, Kent
Deepest Sympathy

Just to let you know I am thinking about you.

As we know with the passing of each day we have yet another challenge to deal with.

Fondest wishes
 
C

Chesca

Guest
Dear Eden

How was today for you? Hope your're holding it together best you can.

Thinking of you.
Chesca