Seeking help for grandma and grandad

[Worried granddaughter]

Hi everyone, my grandad currently has dementia & terminal bowel cancer. My grandma is physically disabled (wheelchair bound) and she is really struggling to come to terms with his dementia & change in personality.

Over weeks he has become more volatile, he swears, shouts and gets very angry at her then does not remeber the incident. He used to be the calmest, sweetest gentleman you'd ever know. But my grandma is exhausted, he refuses to go to support groups and says he'd rather be dead than leave the house.

My grandma is desperate for some help before she has a break down. Are there any support groups she could go to alone?

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to DTP @Worried granddaughter.
Personally I would contact social services & ask for an urgent assessment for them both.
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Worried granddaughter, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

These behaviours and only wanting family to do the caring are all too common but it's not always possible to accommodate this. It really does sound that a care needs assessment is required.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.

 

[nae sporran]

Welcome to DTP from me too @Worried granddaughter. Like Cat27 I would advise asking for an urgent care needs review. http://carer.org will help you find your grandparents nearest carers support centre. They run support groups and the Bristol office publishes independent support groups in the area. My partner also has a lady from a care agency who comes round one afternoon a week to sit with her and chat which lets me off for a few hours. Social Services should be able to help with that if your grandad would accept it.