I spent all yesterday morning wrapping all the ornaments and memorabilia collected over decades and loving placed by Pauline in her pride and joy - a large glass fronted Mahogany wall unit, in bubble wrap, lots of bubble wrap. They filled two large plastic boxes an, when I had finished I texted him to say they were here for collection and, he duly arrived last night. He was amazed at how many items there were and then, a first and without his brothers in attendance, we had a grown up conversation during which he moved for denial of dementia to, “well she got something like it.” He then expressed doubts about what they were doing and the long term future which apparently they had not thought of and nor indeed care Needs. I didnt argue but praised him for thinking that way and said I had withdrawn all objections and to move her with my blessings. He brightened up and asked about “ the carers role,” and would I give it up and I said yes. “ how much is clearer allowance?” “I dont know I have never claimed it but you will need it to pay for lots of things that I have been able to afford, not least carehome fees as and when needed. Talk about a Road to Damascus moment as I told him I would withdraw all financial support and they would have to carry the can. He didnt change the decision to take her but he was very thoughtful as he left.