First of all i would like to thank the manager from I.T. department for contacting me to help me post a message on T.P.
My emotions are on that rollercoaster again.. it's a long time since i have allowed myself to go deep into them.. My mum has had alzheimers for roughly about nine years now.. she is 76.. Christmas time is always the worst.... My mum lives in a care home in scotland.. she has been in it for 18 months now... Her sister and son live in her area.. and another son in the herford area... i live in cheshire. but i have been her sole carer organising every-thing.. i kept her in her own home for as long as i could with private carers and other alzheimers and dementia organisations but the time came when it was not safe for her any-more. Although i wasn,t living in the area, i managed to control every-thing by telephone and also i visit every month or sometimes every fortnight. The home she is in has been opened 2 years it looks nice and has great food but it always has a shortage of staff... not the ratio of staff that i was told it would be... My mum has a great personality and she is well liked as she never complains.. it's me that is always complaining... there is no time for any stimulation for the residents and how i hate seeing them all just vegetating in a chair.. my mums incontinence is really bad due to the carers not taking her to the toilet so she soils herself all the time.. then she trys to hide her sanitary wear in the wardrobe because she is embarassed. My brother visits her when he is chased to do it which is probably every fortnight or 3 weeks.. I have had many disagreements with the care staff, when she is in some-one elses clothes.. or she has no tights on.. she is always losing her glasses.. now its her teeth... I didn't vsit her this christmas as i new my brother would be visiting her before he went to Australia for 6 weeks. i think he visited her for ten minutes.... i should be gratefull but i experienced the anger again when i discovered that my mums christmas presents were still sitting on top of her wardrobe on the 29th when i visited her. I had been up 2 weeks before christmas and asked the carers to help her open them or i thought my brother would have done it for her...When i visit i usually sit in the day room with my mother and the other residents.. which we all enjoy as the residents love having some-one to talk to.. some-times we get a sing song going and i enjoy listening to all the different life stories that these elderly people all have some-thing to say. I came back from Scotland on the 2nd but i am going up to-day again as my heart is broken again at the moment as i hate the thought of my mum not having any visitors and also i have another big descision to make with my mums care home which is a private one and costs £5oo a week.. The home also has been bought over by another company but the same management team run it and as far as i am concerned if they don't have the ratio of staff the care will never improve... now i am thinking i will move her down to where i live which will help me to ensure she is getting the proper care she deserves and i can visit regulary and bring her to my house occassionally as at the moment she is still mobile but i don't know if the move would be too much for her.... I don't have any trust with the home as they have told me blatant lies in the past.... I just needed a rant on T.P as reading all the messages you realise we are all in this horrible illness to-gether and how it takes you on the ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS. I know i will get over this stage again as after nine years of alzheimers there has been many different stages that i have gone through. The guilt monster and the angry monster will dissappear once more and then i will be able to make the descison whats best for my mum and also myself as it is me who has accepted and experienced alzheimers. Hopefully after this trip my gut feelings will kick in and i will be able to make a descision thats right for the both of us.
Just another road to take on the journey of alzheimers..
Love hope and faith to you all.
ELL
My emotions are on that rollercoaster again.. it's a long time since i have allowed myself to go deep into them.. My mum has had alzheimers for roughly about nine years now.. she is 76.. Christmas time is always the worst.... My mum lives in a care home in scotland.. she has been in it for 18 months now... Her sister and son live in her area.. and another son in the herford area... i live in cheshire. but i have been her sole carer organising every-thing.. i kept her in her own home for as long as i could with private carers and other alzheimers and dementia organisations but the time came when it was not safe for her any-more. Although i wasn,t living in the area, i managed to control every-thing by telephone and also i visit every month or sometimes every fortnight. The home she is in has been opened 2 years it looks nice and has great food but it always has a shortage of staff... not the ratio of staff that i was told it would be... My mum has a great personality and she is well liked as she never complains.. it's me that is always complaining... there is no time for any stimulation for the residents and how i hate seeing them all just vegetating in a chair.. my mums incontinence is really bad due to the carers not taking her to the toilet so she soils herself all the time.. then she trys to hide her sanitary wear in the wardrobe because she is embarassed. My brother visits her when he is chased to do it which is probably every fortnight or 3 weeks.. I have had many disagreements with the care staff, when she is in some-one elses clothes.. or she has no tights on.. she is always losing her glasses.. now its her teeth... I didn't vsit her this christmas as i new my brother would be visiting her before he went to Australia for 6 weeks. i think he visited her for ten minutes.... i should be gratefull but i experienced the anger again when i discovered that my mums christmas presents were still sitting on top of her wardrobe on the 29th when i visited her. I had been up 2 weeks before christmas and asked the carers to help her open them or i thought my brother would have done it for her...When i visit i usually sit in the day room with my mother and the other residents.. which we all enjoy as the residents love having some-one to talk to.. some-times we get a sing song going and i enjoy listening to all the different life stories that these elderly people all have some-thing to say. I came back from Scotland on the 2nd but i am going up to-day again as my heart is broken again at the moment as i hate the thought of my mum not having any visitors and also i have another big descision to make with my mums care home which is a private one and costs £5oo a week.. The home also has been bought over by another company but the same management team run it and as far as i am concerned if they don't have the ratio of staff the care will never improve... now i am thinking i will move her down to where i live which will help me to ensure she is getting the proper care she deserves and i can visit regulary and bring her to my house occassionally as at the moment she is still mobile but i don't know if the move would be too much for her.... I don't have any trust with the home as they have told me blatant lies in the past.... I just needed a rant on T.P as reading all the messages you realise we are all in this horrible illness to-gether and how it takes you on the ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS. I know i will get over this stage again as after nine years of alzheimers there has been many different stages that i have gone through. The guilt monster and the angry monster will dissappear once more and then i will be able to make the descison whats best for my mum and also myself as it is me who has accepted and experienced alzheimers. Hopefully after this trip my gut feelings will kick in and i will be able to make a descision thats right for the both of us.
Just another road to take on the journey of alzheimers..
Love hope and faith to you all.
ELL
Last edited: