It is difficult to find reason for someone going into respite that they will be happy with. Explaining that either you or your husband need this time to help you both is not understood.
Could you try saying there are some repairs needed to the home and it will be messy and much better if he was not there while all the upset was going on, a few days in a nice hotel would be much better for him.
Would he accept that the doctor wanted him to go away for a short while to a nice private hospital where he would be looked after and helped as he was having a few problems.
You could say you have to go away for a couple of days if this would not be upsetting to your husband.
Respite for the first time is not easy but hopefully your husband will accept it and you both benefit from the break.
My hubby is going for a weeks respite for the first time to give me a break, l am not going to tell him where he is going, as he will not fully understand what is happening, our son will take him, then it will be less upsetting for me, do you have any family that can support you.
The first time OH went into respite I told him the truth!
You know I've not been well recently?
Well the doc has said I need a complete break
So I'm going to stay with the Cornish cousins.
Which means someone will have to look after you
I'd had Carers breakdown, so that was all true. He could have argued that he could look after himself, which I would have countered with, it'll be nice to have different meals and meet new people...
Anyway, this way, it was my problems that sent him to respite, not his. I think that helped. He was also used to going to daycare.we also used to see the Cornish cousins on a regular basis, so it wasn't something unexpected.