1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. nov14

    nov14 Registered User

    May 27, 2014
    20
    Goostrey, Cheshire
    Hi, advice please. My Mum has Alzheimers and lives with me. It's just the two of us and has been since my Dad died in 2008.

    We have a weeks holiday booked in September to Scotland an area we go to every year. My doctor and the memory clinic want me to put Mum in respite for the week and go on my own. I'm very tempted because I can't remember the last time I had a good nights sleep or any me time apart from when I'm at work! But Mum knows about the holiday and has told people at her daycare about it.

    What should I do?

    I'm so tired and she is such hard work now.


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  2. Anniebell

    Anniebell Registered User

    Jan 31, 2015
    115
    Hi i would say go on your holiday and put your dear Mum in respite my mums in a NH but last year we put mum in respite for a week mum was fine cared for and safe we had a lovely holiday we didn't have to worry about mum we came back batteries charged
    You havn't said how your Mum is memory wise but would she know if you took her out for the day instead of a week? tell her you have to work and cant make the weeks holiday from the sound of it you need a break and we are all forgiven these little love lies i know its hard and you will feel guilty but as well as looking after your mum you must look after yourself i'm sure others will be on here telling you the same let us know what you decide to do i really hope you go away Take Care
    Love Annie x
     
  3. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    don't know about round your area but round mine it is minimum of 2 weeks and it costs £2000 which I think is discusting .
     
  4. nov14

    nov14 Registered User

    May 27, 2014
    20
    Goostrey, Cheshire
    Oh no, if it costs anything like that then there's no chance.


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  5. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    It depends on your mum's circumstances as to whether she would have to pay for respite or not. You would have to discuss this with her social worker, who should be able to advise you.

    Whenever my mam goes into respite, it is funded by our local authority as she is below the financial threshhold for having to pay anything. I think dad pays something for her meals (not quite sure why :confused:) but otherwise it's free to her.

    Don't despair!
     
  6. Anniebell

    Anniebell Registered User

    Jan 31, 2015
    115
    Hi same as collegegirl my mum is funded by LA as she is below the threshold and the last time she went in for respite we paid £161 pounds for the week and they paid the rest You need to get in touch with your social worker when my mum had her assessment we got 4 weeks respite a year its worth looking into let us know how you get on
    Take Care
    Annie x
     
  7. nov14

    nov14 Registered User

    May 27, 2014
    20
    Goostrey, Cheshire
    Had a meeting with the Social Worker today who is going back to the office to see how much respite we can get and how much it will cost. They were estimating about £175 a week but thought this would come down more.


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  8. janetlynn

    janetlynn Registered User

    Jul 22, 2012
    107
    England
    #8 janetlynn, Aug 12, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2015
    Hi,

    As others have said, you need to take care of yourself. Not just for your sake, but for your Mum`s sake as well. You need to be healthy in order to cope with her needs. I would urge you to take this holiday on your own, or maybe with a friend? It will do you the world of good and recharge your batteries.

    I used to tell my Mum when I was dropping her off for a week`s respite that she was going on holiday, and that she would meet some nice people and that she would be looked after. I felt guilty but I could not have carried on without respite. Please ask for a rota, maybe one week in eight, then you have something to look forward to, and can plan to go out. If social services are reluctant and mention their budget, can I advise that you say you will carry on looking after your Mum as long as you can, but without respite you don`t think you can, and that she may have to go into care full time. This may cause them to rethink their budget!

    Take care of yourself,
    Janet.
     

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