I am new to this forum so pls excuse any inadvertent transgressions.
I am the sole carer for my wife, who now has absolutely no short-term memory although she retains much of her professional life and older memories. Sadly, her day-to-day memory is also now crumbling - can't remember where we keep the coffee cups, etc. The result is that she now needs most of my life to bring order and structure to hers. She doesn't do "silly" things and is still a pleasant person with no challenging behaviour, but I find the minute by minute responsibility increasingly oppressive and depressing as she declines. On the one hand I am pleased to provide the support, but on the other hand I hate the loss of "self" and loss of my own social, cultural and intellectual freedoms - we both had wide circles of friends and varied interests before this condition struck.
One thing which would be welcome would be a "respite holiday" for both of us - partly so that I could take a break but also so that she could enjoy social activities which I find hard to deliver alone. But I would want her to look forward to the break as one offering things she would enjoy "in the moment". I have had to accept that she has no recollection of events a few minutes later but I don't want her to feel "parked" or "put away" - she is in many respects still a very lively person.
Has anyone any suggestions as to how to achieve this? Advice to offer or experience to share?
TIA
I am the sole carer for my wife, who now has absolutely no short-term memory although she retains much of her professional life and older memories. Sadly, her day-to-day memory is also now crumbling - can't remember where we keep the coffee cups, etc. The result is that she now needs most of my life to bring order and structure to hers. She doesn't do "silly" things and is still a pleasant person with no challenging behaviour, but I find the minute by minute responsibility increasingly oppressive and depressing as she declines. On the one hand I am pleased to provide the support, but on the other hand I hate the loss of "self" and loss of my own social, cultural and intellectual freedoms - we both had wide circles of friends and varied interests before this condition struck.
One thing which would be welcome would be a "respite holiday" for both of us - partly so that I could take a break but also so that she could enjoy social activities which I find hard to deliver alone. But I would want her to look forward to the break as one offering things she would enjoy "in the moment". I have had to accept that she has no recollection of events a few minutes later but I don't want her to feel "parked" or "put away" - she is in many respects still a very lively person.
Has anyone any suggestions as to how to achieve this? Advice to offer or experience to share?
TIA