1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. byrnedjp

    byrnedjp Registered User

    Mar 21, 2013
    168
    London
    just starting to rear its ugly head
    3 years in and another "feeling" to add to the mix

    Anyone dealing with resentment in a positive way - if that's at all possible
     
  2. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Not sure what feelings I'm dealing with but il send you a hug either way ((()))):)
     
  3. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,852
    England
    #3 Katrine, Mar 29, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2015
    Dealing with resentment in a positive way - if that's at all possible

    No, IMO it isn't! Resentment, when it concerns disability and illness, is a feeling that we've been cheated out of something we should have, or were expecting to have. It's not untrue either. Things have not turned out as expected and there is no clear path or end in view. There's a long journey into the unknown, with little or no preparation before we set out. :(

    Staying positive, or finding a way to feel more positive, can only come when you allow yourself to say "It isn't fair, I didn't ask for this, I deserve to be in control of my life". That's not whingeing, it's acknowledging that you matter. If you are honest about your own feelings you can slowly start to ask "Now what? If there's no going back to what was, or what might have been, how can I accept a different plan for my life than the one I thought I was going to get?"

    There's no avoiding the fact that uncertainty is stressful. TP is a safety valve for many people. Resentment and disappointment is often expressed by posters as 'having a rant', or 'feeling sad today', or 'feeling so alone'. Whatever you need to post about how you are feeling, someone will answer you and remind you that it's OK to have those feelings, and that you are not alone.
     
  4. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    290
    London
    I couldn't have put it better
     
  5. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    I agree :)
     
  6. dumpygirl

    dumpygirl Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    115
    derbyshire
    me too.
     
  7. Primrosevilla

    Primrosevilla Registered User

    Mar 16, 2015
    6
    Greater london/Essex
    Katrine, I too agree with you. I deal with each day and each new challenge as it comes, at least now I do, it wasn't always like that. So Byrnedjp you are not alone (((hugs))).
     
  8. velocity

    velocity Registered User

    Feb 18, 2013
    174
    North Notts
    I also agree katrine

    You're definitely not alone byrnedjp, xx:)
     
  9. byrnedjp

    byrnedjp Registered User

    Mar 21, 2013
    168
    London
    Thanks all...........

    I realise all of these feelings come in stages - ive lost count of the times ive sat down and thought heres another one to add to the mix..

    Need very broad shoulders to carry this weight
     
  10. sleepingplum

    sleepingplum Registered User

    Mar 1, 2015
    46
    I am so glad you posted about resentment in my head I look at all the positives and think each morning I get him up I wont feel like this but ashamedly I cant help the wave that rushes over me that my child doesn't deserve to have to live with this. especially when my FIL is oblivious to everything. I do feel angry at this illness and everything normal it takes away I wish you well and hope you find a way and if you do I will be here eagerly waiting to hear from you :)
     
  11. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,161
    I was given a stiff talking to by three of those close to me not very long ago. They helped me to see that while my resentment was understandable it was also corrosive only to myself. My father, who has caused all this, is completely unaffected by it. I therefore made the decision that when I am feeling angry and resentful, I step away - and without feeling guilty about it. So I would advise you to think about building in more help/respite/day care - anything - so that you feel you continue as an individual whose own wishes and dreams are of equal importance to anyone else's.
     
  12. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    I try to take out my resentment on 'Dementia'. I talk at it, swear at it and am sometimes nice to it, hoping that it will be nice back. Sometimes I then get a good day with my Mum and Im thankful. I then try to plan how it will not beat me. I know it has its grip on my Mum but she is oblivious and generally happy most days. I know the progression will get worse but at the moment this works for me. I have just read this back and I think I may be going slightly doolally :eek:
     
  13. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,540
    Male
    Bristol
    #13 nae sporran, Mar 31, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2015
    Since OH developed this dementia it has driven me doolally, Flake. Maybe swearing at quietly is not such a bad idea. :)
     

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