Repeat buying

[Roo91]

I think it’s really hard emotionally to take control of a partner. When I’m struggling I think of his CT images which showed so little brain left. That reminds me he really can’t function and I have to do it. My husband buys stuff but then forgets it ,so at least I can take it back unopened and he doesn’t ask about it.

 

[Jean1511]

Hi, I’m wondering if anyone has any advice or suggestion's… my husband is buying things he doesn’t need, trainers seem to be the favourite! He has bought 7 pairs. He has never been a one for shopping and he would have the same pair of shoes for years. He has the Vinted app on his phone and this is where he is buying them. He seems to find one brand he likes and then just keeps buying. T-shirt’s also I think he has bought over 20. He isn’t working now hasn’t for the past year, we have 3 kids at home so we need to be sensible with spending. I think some of this is due to boredom, it seems to happen when I’m out or at work. He spends all day in front of the TV and looking at his phone. I have said to him that he doesn’t need the trainers but he just laughs at me..
Thanks for reading 😊

Hi Angel4, my hubby is doing the same thing but because every day is different when I tried to send stuff back, stop the payments or any of the other sensible things to do he was really angry with me. He's in that stage now where we're all "trying to get rid of him" the worst one is "I'm not dead yet but you'd like that eh" so I'm treading water just now, we're working on getting POA but even that's a battle, I wish I could help but just knowing you're not alone in this just sometimes helps me. Hope you get things sorted. Jean

 

[JaxG]

It's absolutely fair enough to do whatever needs to be done to preserve family assets. Care is expensive and dementia is financially ruinous.

You're so right.

 

[CraftyTutu]

Hi Angel4, have you spoken to your bank to see if there’s anything they can do to help? I had to do that when my mum was buying random things from catalogues in the newspapers and started giving scammers her bank card details. I think giving hubby a prepaid card is probably the best option though, because he still has a bit of control without you having to stress about him overspending 💞💞

 

[Lottie01]

I have the same issue with my dad. He is in early stages and goes shopping with my Mum and buys, puzzles, books and even a tv a few weeks ago ( they didn’t need any of them) He bought my son a Thomas the tank engine story book yesterday, but my son is now 19! Today he bought 3 books from Waterstones and when my mum said he shouldn’t have bought them, he said there was nothing she could do about it! She was very upset.

I think the time has come for some sort of payment card, Would you all say a prepayment card is better? Or should I start taking cards away, most of the things he buys from shops in the high street but they are miles away from me and I couldn’t return them all either.

Any suggestions would be appreciated xx

 

[Chizz]

Hi @Lottie01
I think the time has come or v soon will when the card should be taken away, or the three digit security number on card back should be scratched off.
Friend's OH used to go online an order many thing often in multiples for money they couldn't afford, so she, when he was asleep scratched off the security number. She went on to his credit card co, to get money back on the basis that he no longer had capacity to make legal contracts. One has to be careful though, as just because someone make foolish money decisions, doesn't always mean that have lost capacity.
I think not realising the consequences of a multiple purchase, or the effect of amount spent, is evidence that a PWD is no longer capable of properly dealing with money.
I took away my OH's cr card. She asked where's it gone? Have I lost it? etc - she asked a fews times for a few days, but then forgot all about it and it was never mentioned again.
Thus, a matter judgment, for your mum, although you obviously have a view too.
Best wishes