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Reaching the end

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
701
Last Sunday evening my lovely Mum reached the end of her dementia journey in her care home.

She had mixed dementia and had stopped eating and drinking about a week before, so the decline was sadly inevitable.
I was able to see her before she died, but mixed messages from the care home meant that later on we couldn't go into her room but had several window visits with the staff doing their best to position her bed so that we could see her. She was generally peacefully asleep by then.

For those of you with loved ones in homes, I hope the situation around visiting advice is clarified and the access improves. I was lucky to have spent a lot of time with Mummy before lockdown, and whilst this does not always make things easier, there was at least part of the journey of the disease where I was there with her. We will all miss her a great deal.

I have to say, for anyone who may need to hear this, that our experience of care home care as almost always positive. The staff were kind and caring and really got to know Mummy. It is a tribute to them that when she declined, and stopped attacking them during personal care, they even missed this, as they realised we were losing her.

Finally, I hope to keep on reading and posting, though I read a lot more than I post. It is a kind of therapy for me. Thank you to everyone for their advice support and for the feeling of not being alone.
Dementia is the worst journey ever. We all hope we never have to experience it for ourselves and for our loved ones. If we do, we couldn't want for better companions than those on this forum.
Thank you.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
My condolences @Helly68 do keep posting, your experiences through this awful journey can help others trying to navigate that path. Take care of yourself.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,404
South coast
Im so sorry @Helly68 . I remember when you first joined and feel I have walked beside you .

Please be gentle with yourself now
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

illac2

New member
Aug 9, 2020
1
Last Sunday evening my lovely Mum reached the end of her dementia journey in her care home.

She had mixed dementia and had stopped eating and drinking about a week before, so the decline was sadly inevitable.
I was able to see her before she died, but mixed messages from the care home meant that later on we couldn't go into her room but had several window visits with the staff doing their best to position her bed so that we could see her. She was generally peacefully asleep by then.

For those of you with loved ones in homes, I hope the situation around visiting advice is clarified and the access improves. I was lucky to have spent a lot of time with Mummy before lockdown, and whilst this does not always make things easier, there was at least part of the journey of the disease where I was there with her. We will all miss her a great deal.

I have to say, for anyone who may need to hear this, that our experience of care home care as almost always positive. The staff were kind and caring and really got to know Mummy. It is a tribute to them that when she declined, and stopped attacking them during personal care, they even missed this, as they realised we were losing her.

Finally, I hope to keep on reading and posting, though I read a lot more than I post. It is a kind of therapy for me. Thank you to everyone for their advice support and for the feeling of not being alone.
Dementia is the worst journey ever. We all hope we never have to experience it for ourselves and for our loved ones. If we do, we couldn't want for better companions than those on this forum.
Thank you.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,530
Essex
Dear @Helly68,

I am so sorry to hear this. I know exactly what you are going through and please keep posting. You have been there for me and I want to be there for you. Dad was also in a home and he ended up being put on memantine when he became aggressive. His passing was sudden and I didn't realise the staff and residents at the home would miss him. The same will go for your mum but remember this she would have been very proud of you and what you did for her.

Hugs

MaNaAk
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
701
My condolences @Helly68 do keep posting, your experiences through this awful journey can help others trying to navigate that path. Take care of yourself.
Thank you. I hope others can take something form what we go through I know I have been supported by others here
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
701
Im so sorry @Helly68 . I remember when you first joined and feel I have walked beside you .

Please be gentle with yourself now
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
@canary - I think we have walked beside each other and I have taken a lot of comfort from that