My dad was diagnosed with dementia/alzeimers 5yrs ago after a fall which exelerated the underlying condition to a point where he was violent, confused, scared, didn't recognize any of us. We cared for him 24/7 for about a month before he then started trying to get out of the house and we had to call the police and get him admitted into a home. He was there was 6mths, very unhappy and sad but he coped. Once he was put on the correct medication he improved dramatically to a point where he was suffering because he was placed on the floor with clients with extreme dementia. His mobility was more of an issue than anything. We decided to bring him home where my mum and brother would be his full time carers, with help from a care agency too. It's been hard and for me a constant battle to make sure everything required was being done and that dad was being cared for properly. Having family as carers is hard when there is that emotional connection, it's very hard to criticize a person for not doing something when they are family. My dads illness has torn my family apart. Anyway 3yrs on dads physical side has deteriorated dramatically, he can hardly manage to walk, his posture has crumbled, he struggles to feed himself and heed constant assistance. His memory has worsened to the point where he doesn't remember what he done a lot of the time, he can't understand questions or direction. He tends to want to go to bed very early. Recently there has been an incident where dad wasn't able to sit on his bed and my brother pushed dad onto it. This broke my heart to hear and I then increased the care to relieve the pressure but again it seems my brother is now speaking to my dad in a disrespectful manner and swearing at it whilst losing his temper and taking it out on objects around him. I visited my dad as I do every week and he broke down in tears and said he was scared of my brother!! Said he swears at him. Obviously this is heart breaking for him and for me. My brother holds a lot of resentment towards my dad because of what he has given up which is why this is happening. I asked my mum to speak to my brother and tell him what dad had said and how upset he was. My brothers reply was he has cared for dad for 3yrs and now wants to get on with his life. This I can understand but leaves me now in the position of having to put my dad back into a home. If this was happening in a care home i wouldn't ignore it and I won't now. If his dementia was at the stage where he wouldn't know about it then that would be easier but unfortunately his care needs are more physical than mental at present. My heart is breaking for the 2nd time and I still carry the guilt from the first time, now I have to do it all again and dreading having to tell dad this week. I am hoping to get him in to a home near me rather than the hour drive to where he lives at home at the moment, Atleast then I can keep check on him and the home and visit him regularly. I want to ask if I am doing the right thing but really it's my only option to make sure dad is safe and treated as he should be with respect and dignity in a home which obviously I will really need to make sure has the good reputation.