Progression of Alzheimer's

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by SarahL, Jan 17, 2016.

  1. SarahL

    SarahL Registered User

    Dec 1, 2012
    229
    Hi, I've been on here a lot over the years and it has 'saved' me at some very despairing times.

    My mum is still in her care home but since going into hospital with an infection in November has not recovered too well - she now has limited vocabulary, mobility and won't open her mouth to eat much (apart from occasionally).

    This recent experience has triggered me back to the time in November 2014 when she was sectioned into hospital. At that point I had been caring for her at home for years (alone) and she was managing, although I could see her memory was terribly bad. What I really wanted was for her to have care and support provided for her but the worst case scenario occurred when she was sectioned. However once she was, her capacity became so much worse almost overnight, which is why she went straight from the hospital into the care home in December 2014. She never went home again and that has caused me so much sadness.

    What I'm wondering is if anyone knows that once someone is removed from their familiar surroundings, as well as causing extreme anxiety and agitation, can this speed up progression of the disease? Do you think the fact that Mum went into hospital under section originally properly showed the extent of her disease? I just keep thinking that had she never been sectioned, I know her disease would have progressed but maybe it would have been more humane and in her own home. On the flip side, I probably would have become more mentally ill with it all and worse she could have been so vulnerable.

    Now with her having been in hospital recently and her condition worsening I am just tyring to make some links between more trauma and progression.

    Any thoughts would be appreciated, I think it's all part of the grieving process with me and I had a particularly sad day and a wobble when I visited Mum yday. I just don't want to see her keep declining but I have to accept it.

    Many thanks, Sarah
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,475
    Yorkshire
    Hi SarahL
    your post is so full of sadness and regret
    I think we all go through the 'what if' and 'if only' scenarios when there's a significant change or when we feel overwhelmed and down
    and we also know that there are no 'easy' answers with dementia around, no matter how much our rationalising wants them

    the very sad fact is your mum needed to be sectioned
    Yes - and if she hadn't, or if she'd come home:
    So, please settle your mind that you did everything you could back then; and you continue to do as much as you can now

    You wisely end your post:
    I'm so sorry you are feeling so down - and glad that you thought to post here
    I send you sympathy and wish you strength and acceptance; you clearly care so much for your mum

    best wishes to you both
     
  3. PeterMD

    PeterMD Registered User

    Jan 1, 2016
    23
    N.IRELAND
    sectioned ?

    Sarah

    Iv been caring for my mother with Alzheimer's for 5 years and she is getting worse. Under what circumstances would they section my mum ?
     
  4. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,475
    Yorkshire
    Hi PeterMD
    If you enter the term 'sectioned' into the search box at the top of the forum page you'll find posts which deal with this topic to give you an idea of the process and what may lead to a section taking place
     
  5. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Hi, SarahL, it's nice to "see" you here and get an update, although I'm very sorry to hear things are not at all well for you or your mum at the moment.

    Just as none of us have a crystal ball to see what is coming, we also don't always have the ability for clarity of hindsight. Sometimes things are obvious when we look back, but with this horrible disease, it's often confused and obscured.

    I know all too well that feeling of wondering what was really going on, and how bad things were with the disease, at various points in the past. I imagine many of us on TP have looked back, after the diagnosis or some event that points up how non-functioning they are, and wondered, was this event or that time more influenced by the dementia than I think? But of course, the kicker with dementia is that we can't ever really know. It's one of the reasons I hate this wretched, awful, disease so much.

    I know how hard things have been with your mother (and her varying issues) and how much soul-searching you've done to try to understand everything. This proves you are a decent human being doing her best, and honestly, that's enough and more than enough. I think one of the ways we provide support to each other here on TP is to try to reassure, but also give a bit of a nudge now and then. So please consider yourself reassured that you haven't done anything wrong, and nudged ever-so-gently to try to be kinder to yourself.

    I find it so terribly difficult to remember that in all our experiences, we are not to blame, or bad people, or horrible children, or failing to make our persons-with-dementia better: the dementia is the enemy. I say that a lot on here, and I'm sure it's just as much to convince myself, as it is to convince others.

    But clearly right now you're feeling emotional and sad and downcast, and while I know it's part of the process, I'm sorry.
     
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,570
    Male
    Bristol
    #7 nae sporran, Jan 17, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2016
    Evening Sarah. I looked back over the progression of OH's Vascular Dementia at the new year too and it's funny how certain events do seem to trigger a decline. Saying that, it was a long trip to hospital which got us outside carers and where I found the Care support Centre. At least your mum is now getting professional care too.
    I know you must be overwhelmed by it all, however as those more eloquent than I have said don't let guilt or regret stop you. So many told me the same and advised taking each day as it comes and to do what you can in the circumstances, sorry if that sounds easier said than done.
    Very best wishes to you and your mum.
     
  7. SarahL

    SarahL Registered User

    Dec 1, 2012
    229
    Thank you all for your kind thoughts and responses. x
     
  8. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    How are you doing today, Sarah?
     

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