1. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    Thankyou you two.

    I have got a lovely group of friends who are very supportive and a growing number of pupils to take my mind off things when needed never mind the financial support.

    MaNaAk
     
  2. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    Hello Everyone!

    Just letting you know that my very best friends are very concerned for me and they can't believe my brother's behaviour. One of them is dismayed that I cancelled the solicitors and she is worried about my brother doing probate on-line as she doesn't trust him. So far he seems to be doing his job and all this time I am going to be doing a few sums myself so that I can come to a decision on the house although I want to stay if I can.

    MaNaAk
     
  3. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    Does anyone think I should go back to the solicitors? I am a bit mixed up at the moment.

    MaNaAk
     
  4. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    399
    Hi @MaNaAk, from what you've said about your brothers in the past I think running your concerns past a solicitor might be a good idea. It might just be that he is awful with emotional situations (my husband is the same, and is at present, hiding from going to see my mum),which is why he doesn't seem to have been there when you needed him, but it could be that he is trying to swing things to his advantage rather than that of the three of you.
    However I'm not you, and don't know the ins and outs of it but, but if your friend is concerned, it might be worth considering getting in another opinion.
     
  5. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    Just been back to the solicitors and feel better. They now know that I am living here and that my brothers are not talking to each other except via email and that they have not done much of the caring. They did say that they need to see us all together but that if one brother didn't want to come then they would send letters to him.

    They said that any payment would come from dad and that they will act according to the will. I feel better because I will be able to make plans and not just in a few weeks.

    Thankyou all for being there for me.

    MaNaAk
     
  6. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    I'm just wondering if any of you wonderful people out there might what a solicitor would say or do if I made a decision to stay in this house and refused to sell my share. I'm just thinking of my options for the future and some of you have given me some great ideas.

    Thankyou very much

    MaNaAk
     
  7. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,828
    Male
    North Manchester
  8. Delphie

    Delphie Registered User

    Dec 14, 2011
    1,250
    I think your only realistic options, if you want to stay in the house, are to either buy your brothers out or have them agree to you renting it, with two thirds of the rent going to them.

    Ultimately, if executors can't agree, one of you will have to apply to the courts for a decision, or to have an executor or executors removed. It's expensive and it's unlikely a court would rule against a will, so if the will says the estate is to be split three ways you, or a court, will have to find a way of achieving this.

    I've dealt with probate twice in the last two years. Did everything myself. The first was straightforward. The second contentious and it's still rumbling on and is similar to your situation. I got legal advice and was told the above. The solicitor was very pragmatic and advised heavily against legal action if at all possible.
     
  9. Elle3

    Elle3 Registered User

    Jun 30, 2016
    603
  10. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    Thankyou all very much! This is excellent stuff for me to work. I had a very interesting conversation with my youngest invisible last night and gave an insight into his behaviour when dad was admitted to hospital and after the funeral. We had a civil conversation about it and if I should feel pressured into making a decision before making up my mind and sorting out other things as well as probate I am going to bring up other aspects of his activities as well. I will do the same with my other invisible who I am watching very closely as he is doing the probate. I will also be making sure that he does this properly because I have all the details about dad's finances nevermind property.

    MaNaAk
     
  11. silversea2020

    silversea2020 Registered User

    May 12, 2019
    81
    How’s it all going?
     
  12. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    Dear Silversea,

    My brother seems to be working through the probate but I will have to toughen up when it comes to the house. I have a few ideas regarding this but I won't be pushed by my invisibles. I also feel stronger but I still have my weepy moments such as this morning when the moon landings were on the news again and all I could think was how dad would have been so interested in this.

    I also miss my brothers but not the pressure on making a decision about the house. Anyway I am looking forward to a little holiday next week.

    MaNaAk
     
  13. Kaccee

    Kaccee New member

    Jul 21, 2019
    1
    #33 Kaccee, Jul 21, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 22, 2019
    Please do be careful about personal probate applications. All tax positions need to be ascertained and this is quite a complex process. I agree the document is relatively easy to obtain but do take advantage of a fact finding appointment with a local professional to make sure it is actually as easy as it may look. You have personal responsibility for any under reporting!
     
  14. silversea2020

    silversea2020 Registered User

    May 12, 2019
    81
    Just take your time ....you’re allowed that you know - do not be rushed - even if you sit back for 6 months or more - it’ll give you time to make decisions for yourself - enjoy your holiday / I think you deserve that right now x
     
  15. silversea2020

    silversea2020 Registered User

    May 12, 2019
    81
    There is no immediate rush as far as probate is concerned ... something we learned a while ago when my husbands sister said she wasn’t gonna do anything for 6 months or more ! Only difference was, my FIL had rental properties so obviously things couldn’t be left up in the air - my husband had to threaten court action via his solicitor - that got things moving
     
  16. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,225
    Essex
    Yes! We will be getting the solicitors involved but if there is anything that I am not happy with they will be involved a bit sooner but so far so good! Also I have found it necessary to remind my invisibles about what they didn't do including giving me a lift to the hospital, arriving at the same time as dad's ambulance but going back to work afterwards!

    I can't believe how wonderful you all are! Throughout my three years of visiting this sight I've had wonderful advice and I will continue to offer my advice where possible. Dad was diagnosed in 2016 and he died on the 12th June this year. He became forgetful a few years after mum died but it was in 2015 when I really became concerned about him. That year his diabetes was showing in his skin and affecting his hands so he did a bit less around the house but to put a date on it things went downhill from January 14th of that year because that is when his sister-in-law passed away and to him that was similar to losing his mother because she partly brought him up.

    I then had a difficult job getting him to the doctor's with no help from my invisibles (one of them thought there was nothing wrong!) and then I find that his ears were very blocked up and the prescription for his hearing aid batteries was out-of-date. We used to bring dad's hearing to his attention but he would sulk if this was brought up. Eventually I got him to the doctor's on the pre-text of a checkup on his hearing! Dad was referred to the hospital and given a blood test and when the doctor wanted to talk to us about the blood test for the first time in months we were very relieved because we were getting some help. I have never been so pleased for a positive result!

    There were some very sad moments as a carer when "dad said I want you to remember the person I was", some very frustrating and worrying moments but I want to remember the more light hearted moments and the outings.
     

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