1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    Hello everyone!

    All my wonderful friends will know that I lost my lovely, wonderful dad one and a half weeks ago and the tears are still flowing as I type. Anyhow we have a solicitor 's appointment on the 2nd July to talk about probate but my question is this. Do my brothers and I have to pay the solicitor' s fees or will it be paid by dad? Technically POA ends when the person dies but I have been allowed to still use dad's debit card because the bank hasn't cancelled this yet. At the moment I am applying for more death certificates to present to various bodies and I do not want to run out of these before July.

    Thankyou very much

    MaNaAk
     
  2. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    I forgot to say the money was used for funeral expenses. My brain has been all over the place at the times since dad's death and Father's day was terrible.

    MaNaAk
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,548
    Female
    South coast
    Yes, money for probate comes out of your dads money (the estate) - it will be deducted from the total before the money is distributed, so you wont have to pay anything up front. BTW, The solicitors will sort out any money owing and will collect any money due to your dad (eg life insurance)

    Im not surprised your brain is all over the place
    Be gentle with yourself
     
  4. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    Thankyou Canary. That's what I thought I just wanted to clear this up as money is a difficult topic for invisibles. I am glad that I am getting there as far as clearing up dad's affairs is concerned.

    MaNaAk
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,548
    Female
    South coast
    The solicitors will completely sort out your dads affairs apart from a bit of signing to say that you agree to them doing it and you will have to swear in front of another solicitor that the details you have given are (to the best of your knowledge) correct. You wont have to worry about sorting out anything at all.

    I put mums estate into the hands of a solicitor as my invisible brother was hassling me about his inheritance :mad::rolleyes:
    Once I had passed it to the solicitor I could dismiss him by saying - nothing to do with me now, contact the solicitor if you are concerned (he never did)
     
  6. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    Thanks again Canary.

    When dad was admitted to hospital my youngest invisible gave me a lift and dropped me at the hospital at the same time as dad's ambulance and went back to his normal day. I did not see him on Father's day and after the funeral he went straight back to work saying that he would be round in the evening. When he arrived in the evening he found me just about to eat (I put a quiche in the oven) in case they wanted to join in. However he and his partner had already eaten so he went away saying that he would come back the following day.

    The other invisible was very appreciative of me telling him about dad and he did come as soon as possible. However there were a few times when he suggested that I should think of other people so at I bit my lip telling myself I should keep calm so that we don't fall out before the funeral. However I let off "steam" when I thought that he and his family had gone out and they over it! I was mortified when my sister-in-law appeared! Needless to say he behaved himself afterwards but couldn't understand why I was angry!

    At the funeral my brothers weren't really communicating and one brother assumed that the other was coming back with me so he went straight home. I ended up having my own private wake to dad but luckily I've bot a lot of good friends and they have been wonderful.

    MaNaAk
     
  7. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,548
    Female
    South coast
    Mum had been in contact with a lot of distant family that I had lost contact with. After she died I contacted everyone in her address book to inform them and to tell them when the funeral was, just in case they were interested. My children were travelling from quite a distance for the funeral, so I suggested that we all met up in the local restaurant just up the road from the church so that we could all walk there together. I told everyone this when I contacted them (just in case) and also told my brother. I was stunned when several cousins said they wanted to attend and we all met up over lunch, reminisced and looked at old photos. Brother disdained coming, but I didnt care - he missed out on a lovely family time.
     
  8. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    I'm getting on with everything whether my invisibles are there or not. I sent an email to one of my invisibles regarding the solicitors appointment and he cannot make that time. To be honest I don't think the other one can make that time either. I will contact the solicitors to see if they can rearrange but my question is this. Has anyone here attended an appointment with the solicitors without their invisibles?

    Thankyou very much

    MaNaAk
     
  9. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    1,032
    Yes,when my mother-in-law passed away last year, my husband's sister couldn't attend as she lived in the USA. The solicitor didn't think it was a problem, so he sent documents to her to view/sign and she returned them. Obviously it took time to sort out,but it didn't effect the outcome . She eventually came to the UK, some months after my mother-in-law passed, really after the direct cremation.
     
  10. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,038
    Male
    North Manchester
    #10 nitram, Jun 23, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2019
    How many executors did your dad appoint?
    The solicitor will need to know that all executors are in agreement with the decision to instruct him/her. This could be done by post.

    If there are multiple executors, they have to act jointly meaning they will all have to sign any documents, If a solicitor is appointed there will not be many documents.

    All except one can revoke leaving a sole executor.

    Instead of revoking they could reserve power meaning that they don't have to act but can do so if the sole executor becomes unable to act.

    https://www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/if-youre-an-executor
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,548
    Female
    South coast
    My invisible brother didnt want to do probate (even though he hassled me to do it!) so the solicitor sent him a form to revoke being executor. I didnt have to do anything, the solicitor sorted it all out.
     
  12. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    Thankyou all for your replies. I believe that the three of us are executors but it sounds like it could all be okay at the moment. I will inform my other brother and let the solicitor know.

    Thankyou all so much. I don't expect my brother to cancel his work as this particular day is important for him as he recently proved life and death situations cannot stop him from working!

    I will let you know the outcome and if I need any more help I will visit my wonderful friends here.

    MaNaAk
     
  13. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,038
    Male
    North Manchester
    Looks as if, by agreement with other executors, you could ask the solicitor to send other executors a form of renunciation/reservation.

    Probate is only the acceptance of the will as a legal document, once accepted the executor(s) has/have a legal duty to carry out it's terms.

    If a solicitor has been instructed they will ensure that funds are distributed in accordance with the will.

    in this case If other executors renounce their power they have no need to worry that the exact terms of the will are not being followed.
     
  14. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    Hello Everyone.

    I have cancelled the solicitors appointment at the moment as we are trying to do some ground work beforehand and looking into applying for a grant of probate on-line because solicitors cost so much money. My eldest brother phoned last night with a load of figures and he is going to do his bit. My youngest brother came this morning and was saying that I need to start thinking of my plans for the house. Our parents have said that the house will be left to the three of us and my youngest brother came round this morning and suggested that I start to think about my plans and come up with something within a few weeks. I felt my blood rushing as he and his partner were asking whether I had thought about this already. Ideas about me possibly moving were in my head but I found myself saying that I have been grieving.

    MaNaAk

    PS:I know I need to do something.
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,548
    Female
    South coast
    For goodness sake, they cant wait to get their hands on "their inheritance", can they!

    Would you be able to get a mortgage so that you could buy your siblings out?
    Could you stay there and pay rent on the portion that you dont own?
    Are you looking to buy somewhere cheaper using your part of money? - it will make a very decent deposit

    Your siblings cant have any of the money until probate is complete.
     
  16. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    Thankyou so much Canary. You are all so wonderful here. I texted my brother saying I couldn't wave him off properly because I felt a bit faint. He said not to worry these things take time.

    He was at that point more sympathetic. He really should have how he felt going to work leaving me at the hospital with our seriously ill dad! Yes! These are things to think about but I am working probate first.

    This place is a lifeline for me. Can't wait to go on holiday.

    MaNaAk
     
  17. Elle3

    Elle3 Registered User

    Jun 30, 2016
    617
    Men can be so heartless at times and say things without thinking. Of course you are grieving and trying to think about selling and moving from your home, with all the memories as well, is the last thing you want to be focusing on at the moment.

    I was going to suggest to you, looking at applying for probate on line yourselves, it can save a lot of money as long as you know the full picture of your dad's estate. It is quite easy to do, I did it and I received the Grant of Probate exactly a month after I submitted it, although I do believe there are delays at present, but going through a Solicitor won't change that. Sounds like your brothers have been thinking of saving some money, I just hope they get fully involved in doing it though and don't leave it all to you. x
     
  18. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,289
    Essex
    Thankyou Elle.

    Actually the eldest one is very into sorting out the probate and the other is keen for him to do it as well. I have given the elder one the go ahead but I have stressed that I know that the house should be divided however I can't be pressurised into making a decision having buried dear dad a week ago. The brother that said that they are going to need answers may need me to ask why he didn't come into the hospital with me when dad was brought in. It's funny that he's not there when dad and I needed him most but he is there where money is concerned!

    MaNaAk
     
  19. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,038
    Male
    North Manchester
    I agree that obtaining probate is fairly easy.

    Concentrate on that.

    When granted and creditors and debtors are sorted you will have a defined pot of money and the house to (presumably) share with the invisibles.

    This is the time to start making decisions, get probate out of the way first.
     
  20. Elle3

    Elle3 Registered User

    Jun 30, 2016
    617
    It's a case of head ruling the heart, some men seem to avoid emotional situations (heart ruling situations) as it's hard for them to deal with, but they can easily deal with the practical things (head ruling situations) like dealing with finances and probate and maybe that is what it is for your brother. It doesn't help you though when you need emotional support, but hopefully you have good friends for that, just don't let your brothers pressure you. x
     

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