My Mum has recently been diagnosed with early Dementia. I have been advised to sort out Power of Attorney. I want to try and do this myself rather than through a solicitor and have approached Mum's GP to sign the Mental Capacity bit which he doesn't like to do. He said he would refer Mum to a physiatrist for assessment. Are there any other options other than this route, which Mum will be reluctant to go through with. If I asked a close friend of hers would this be enough? Also, is there any argument for not pursuing this Power of Attorney or should I just keep going?
Power of Attorney Questions
- Thread starter sarahvp
- Start date
Hi sarahvp,
Yes keep going. The PoA can very important as things progress. I delayed till it was "almost" too late and caused myself umpteen problems.
As long as your Mum has capacity to make decisions and understanding what she is signing then you do not have to go via a solicitor/doctor or get any assessments done.
A couple of close friends are fine. They need to be able to explain the implications to your Mum and be happy that that whoever is chosen to act on her behalf is the right person.
The forms can be filled in on line, printed then signed and posted off.
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
Good luck
Last edited:
it was very straight forward, looked as if it would be complicated, but wasn't, we got a neighbour and longstanding friend to do all the witness signing, sooner the better, as dementia doesn't mean the person has lost mental capacity, even though they forget things quickly
it s the most important thing you can do
Hi firstly well done for being on top of things. the poa is the most important thing you can ever do. one for financial and property and the other for health and welfare...We went through a solicitor because mum and dad did their wills at the same time. this is relevant if they own their home , and because of the rules of selling houses etc for going into care in the future. then you have to have them activated. My aunt had alzheimers her kids were in denial and left it too late and had to do court of protection.. what a nightmare don't go there !!!
as far as I can understand by signing the forms they are agreeing that they understand what they are signing. I was told that its capacity at the time of the signing the form as people with dementia can fluctuate that matters. so It stands regardless..good luck...and best wishes. I found the society factsheets a major help!
Hi firstly well done for being on top of things. the poa is the most important thing you can ever do. one for financial and property and the other for health and welfare...We went through a solicitor because mum and dad did their wills at the same time. this is relevant if they own their home , and because of the rules of selling houses etc for going into care in the future. then you have to have them activated. My aunt had alzheimers her kids were in denial and left it too late and had to do court of protection.. what a nightmare don't go there !!!
as far as I can understand by signing the forms they are agreeing that they understand what they are signing. I was told that its capacity at the time of the signing the form as people with dementia can fluctuate that matters. so It stands regardless..good luck...and best wishes. I found the society factsheets a major help!
Power of Attorney
I am in the process of doing power of attorney for my husband he has early stage Alzheimers. I have done this with a solicitor also made new wills and will be changing my deeds to Tennants in Common. This will protect you if you own a property it can take up to 3 months to complete.
I am in the process of doing power of attorney for my husband he has early stage Alzheimers. I have done this with a solicitor also made new wills and will be changing my deeds to Tennants in Common. This will protect you if you own a property it can take up to 3 months to complete.
Hi. A lot of GPs are reluctant to be certificate providers for LPAs
A solicitor can be a certificate provider to certify that someone has capacity to understand the powers they are donating to their appointed Attorneys (you)
Anyone who is not a family member , who has known mum for I believe two yrs, can be a certificate provider.
This is a government site about LPAs
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
A solicitor can be a certificate provider to certify that someone has capacity to understand the powers they are donating to their appointed Attorneys (you)
Anyone who is not a family member , who has known mum for I believe two yrs, can be a certificate provider.
This is a government site about LPAs
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
Last edited:
Hi Sarahvp
Don't delay it's very important. BUT be sure to do both POA's - Finance AND Welfare. We didn't do Welfare and now Social Services, who want to move Dad to a cheaper home, tell us that they can move him without our agreement because we do not have POA for Welfare! Make sure you do both and do it now!
Good luck and my best wishes
Veronica
Very important to get it done asap as everyone says. Send the forms off to be registered quickly as it takes time for them to be returned. Also gives you a chance to amend any mistakes (unlikely I know).
You can then just keep the POA until such time as it is needed. You don't have to put it to use straight away of course.
You can then just keep the POA until such time as it is needed. You don't have to put it to use straight away of course.
We had a friend sign for Mum, her line, when she talked to mum was very much in general terms '' Would it be easier for J to go to the bank for you and be able to get your money out, rather than have to take you out in the cold?''
I wasn't specific ''shall I sign this so she can assume POA for you ?'' That would have gone right over mums head ( and I think she'd have said 'no' anyway, because she was one of the *I'm fine* sufferers)
The friend was of some 30 years standing and knew it was the right thing to do, and just generally chatted to mum about things. Mum came out of it understanding that she was giving me permission to 'do things' for her on the basis that this friends daughter didn't do a lot for her and how lucky mum was!
I wasn't specific ''shall I sign this so she can assume POA for you ?'' That would have gone right over mums head ( and I think she'd have said 'no' anyway, because she was one of the *I'm fine* sufferers)
The friend was of some 30 years standing and knew it was the right thing to do, and just generally chatted to mum about things. Mum came out of it understanding that she was giving me permission to 'do things' for her on the basis that this friends daughter didn't do a lot for her and how lucky mum was!
Thanks everyone for your comments and help. We did get to the point where my Mum refused to have anything to do with it so I left it alone for a while. Today I have had a heartbreaking conversation with Mum where she has accepted that she is unable to cope with things anymore, is worried about her loss of memory, isn't eating or sleeping properly. Whilst this has been incredibly upsetting it does mean I have been given the go ahead to manage her paperwork and bills and an agreement to get on with the Power of Attorney. I have also spoken several times with a close friend of Mum's who is happy to sign as she also feels it's in her best interests. So patience has paid off and hopefully I will sort the POA out soon. A very emotional day but it makes you realise that the person with dementia has to come to terms with this horrible illness too.
A solicitor specialising in the affairs of those of diminished responsibility is useful (if perhaps expensive). The one we used was able to spend a bit of time talking to our friend and "assuring herself that the gentleman was able to understand what POA involved". As she was able to say, it only matters that on the day the POA is agreed, and on the day that it is signed, the person understands what he/she is doing, to ensure that the person is not being taken advantage of by someone unscrupulous.
having had a solicitor involved may well protect you if there is any possibility that someone else may challenge your right to act
having had a solicitor involved may well protect you if there is any possibility that someone else may challenge your right to act
P.o.a
My husband refuses point blank to set up P.O.A .He thinks we are after his money. Any ideas would be welcome:
My husband refuses point blank to set up P.O.A .He thinks we are after his money. Any ideas would be welcome:
Disconnect the power of attorney from a particular diagnosis. In the event of an emergency where he can't make the decision. Everyone needs one of these and u can do it w any attorney and in a pinch get it on line. I retired as an attorney recently because of my dementia so just my thoughts.
I have the same problem with my OH. I am terrified of even raising the subject as he is obsessed with keeping his money safe from everybody, including me (even sleeps with his wallet under the mattress). I also would be grateful for any ideas.
My mum was the same and point blank refused to do POA. Any sort of suggestion was met with a huge "Im perfectly capable of looking after my own affairs" tirade.
Then she lost capacity and I had to go through Court of Protection. It has taken 8 months and I dont know how many forms. I have one final form to show mum personally and to fill in to say I have done so (no I dont why either - she will have no idea what its all about) and then I will get all the official paperwork to say that I am her deputy.
It has been a loooong sloooow haul. Hubby and I are going for POA before there is anything wrong with us. I never, ever, want anyone to have to do this for me.
Then she lost capacity and I had to go through Court of Protection. It has taken 8 months and I dont know how many forms. I have one final form to show mum personally and to fill in to say I have done so (no I dont why either - she will have no idea what its all about) and then I will get all the official paperwork to say that I am her deputy.
It has been a loooong sloooow haul.
Hubby and I are going for POA before there is anything wrong with us. I never, ever, want anyone to have to do this for me.It has been a loooong sloooow haul.
Good advice here. I'm only 56 and have done my POA so my daughter would act on my behalf in case the time comes when I can't. It's not all about dementia; we can't see into the future and anything can happen; a road accident for example.
Objection to LPA
After much ado, getting a Certificate provider and agreeing with Mum that I should go ahead with registering as power of attorney, my brother who has been estranged from Mum for three years, has sent in an objection on prescribed grounds. I'm not sure what the grounds are as yet but wondered if anyone had gone through the objection process and could let me know what to expect?
After much ado, getting a Certificate provider and agreeing with Mum that I should go ahead with registering as power of attorney, my brother who has been estranged from Mum for three years, has sent in an objection on prescribed grounds. I'm not sure what the grounds are as yet but wondered if anyone had gone through the objection process and could let me know what to expect?
Have a read through
https://www.gov.uk/object-registration/lasting-power
If he is not an attorney or 'person to be told' it will cost him £400 which is a big gamble if he does not have proof.
https://www.gov.uk/object-registration/lasting-power
If he is not an attorney or 'person to be told' it will cost him £400 which is a big gamble if he does not have proof.
Just a word of advice on PoAs. I filled both Health and Finance forms online, got everything signed, paid the £110 each and sent the documents off, only to have them returned a few weeks later with a note saying that I had forgotten to put the date in two of the boxes so the registration had been rejected. I have to fill them out all over again AND pay another £55 per PoA.
So the moral of the story is check, check and double check that you have filled them in correctly (Or get a solicitor to do it for you).
So the moral of the story is check, check and double check that you have filled them in correctly (Or get a solicitor to do it for you).
