I am writing with a torrent of emotions - I guess the most worrying is that I may be judged. However, having read some of the other threads, I am daring to put fingers to keyboard, perhaps if only to share my experience with others.
I moved abroad 4 years ago and in doing so had been advised that I should set up and Enduring Power of Attorney for my mother. I did this and it was decided that it should be set up with both the solicitor and my mums brother. (That way, I felt that there would be both a professional and family element).
I returned to this country a couple of years later. My Mums condition had deteriorated and a month ago, it was finally decided that she would be better off in a home for her own safety. In normal circumstances, I would love to have been in a position to look after her. Yes, I feel full of guilt, but being a single parent with three lads, one of which is disabled, I just could not offer the quality of care. Also, we have not actually got our own house in this country and so are having to rent.
I asked the solicitor if it would be possible to consider whether we might be able to rent Mums house. (This is where I am worried that I will be deemed as mercenary). Fortunately for my Mum, she has enough income generated to pay for her care. However, the solicitor has informed me that he intends to sell the house. He has also changed that locks and is making an itemised inventory of all the contents of the property! It is just so horrible. I feel as if everything that was my Mum is being taken away from me. I feel I will have no part of her to hold on to. Also, how can someone else go through my Mums things? I know she has got things wrapped up in tissue paper and hidden in socks and empty cereal packets, but what gives a stranger the right to unwrap them and sort them out? I don't care about the value of anything she may have, but I want some memories like the recipe for 'Granny's Fudge', to hold on to.
To add to my worries, I have spoken to my Mums brother regarding the Enduring Power of Attorney in relation to himself, and he seems to be unaware of it!!
In my Mum's Will, she has left the house in equal shares to my sons and myself. If it had to be sold to pay for her care, then so be it - that would be fine. But why does the solicitor want to sell it when the rent we would be more than happy to pay, would give her a greater return than if that money from the sale were to be put in a high interest account?
Please don't think that I am being callous and devoid of feeling, it's just as if I have nothing left of my Mum to hold on to.
I really appreciate your thoughts on this.
Thanks for reading.
I moved abroad 4 years ago and in doing so had been advised that I should set up and Enduring Power of Attorney for my mother. I did this and it was decided that it should be set up with both the solicitor and my mums brother. (That way, I felt that there would be both a professional and family element).
I returned to this country a couple of years later. My Mums condition had deteriorated and a month ago, it was finally decided that she would be better off in a home for her own safety. In normal circumstances, I would love to have been in a position to look after her. Yes, I feel full of guilt, but being a single parent with three lads, one of which is disabled, I just could not offer the quality of care. Also, we have not actually got our own house in this country and so are having to rent.
I asked the solicitor if it would be possible to consider whether we might be able to rent Mums house. (This is where I am worried that I will be deemed as mercenary). Fortunately for my Mum, she has enough income generated to pay for her care. However, the solicitor has informed me that he intends to sell the house. He has also changed that locks and is making an itemised inventory of all the contents of the property! It is just so horrible. I feel as if everything that was my Mum is being taken away from me. I feel I will have no part of her to hold on to. Also, how can someone else go through my Mums things? I know she has got things wrapped up in tissue paper and hidden in socks and empty cereal packets, but what gives a stranger the right to unwrap them and sort them out? I don't care about the value of anything she may have, but I want some memories like the recipe for 'Granny's Fudge', to hold on to.
To add to my worries, I have spoken to my Mums brother regarding the Enduring Power of Attorney in relation to himself, and he seems to be unaware of it!!
In my Mum's Will, she has left the house in equal shares to my sons and myself. If it had to be sold to pay for her care, then so be it - that would be fine. But why does the solicitor want to sell it when the rent we would be more than happy to pay, would give her a greater return than if that money from the sale were to be put in a high interest account?
Please don't think that I am being callous and devoid of feeling, it's just as if I have nothing left of my Mum to hold on to.
I really appreciate your thoughts on this.
Thanks for reading.