As I have noted in previous posts my OH was born and raised in Rhodesia (now known as Zimbabwe). He left there to come to live in England in 1979 when he was 35 years old ( with his first wife). For quite some time he has had occasional moments of muddling where he and I live in Buckinghamshire with where he lived in his youth. However, for the past week he has had the fixed notion that we are going to spend Christmas and Hogmanay ( his father was from Scotland) with his parents and other family members on their farm in Rhodesia. He is most insistent that the farm is only 10 or 12 miles away. Fact is his father died nearly 20 years ago, his mother 17 years ago, and there are no other aunts, uncles or cousins surviving either, and the farm ( thanks to Robert Mugabe) no longer exists. I have tried ignoring OH when he starts to talk about going. I`ve tried changing the subject. I`ve tried distraction, and in desperation I have tried proving to OH that the distance between the U.K. and Zimbabwe is far too great for us to travel there. Nothing has worked. The idea is permanently stuck in his mind, and every few minutes he mentions it in some way or other. I am simply at my wits end to get him off the subject, or preferably forget it all together. I dare not mention anything to do with Christmas at the moment because it just promotes him start again. Please, if any of you dear people have any suggestions as to how I can handle this I will be delighted to hear from you.
Please help.....
- Thread starter Anthoula
- Start date
Oh dear @Anthoula As you know from previous experience you will not be able to persuade your husband that his parents have passed and that the farm no longer exists. It really is such a difficult situation. You really do have my sympathy.
The only thing that I can suggest is the old 'love lies'. You know the sort of thing, our passports are out of date and its too late to get them renewed, the plane flights are all booked up etc.
If he persists in saying the farm is only a short distance away, the trains are all booked up, the car needs work done to it.
I don't know if this will work but it's worth a try.
The only thing that I can suggest is the old 'love lies'. You know the sort of thing, our passports are out of date and its too late to get them renewed, the plane flights are all booked up etc.
If he persists in saying the farm is only a short distance away, the trains are all booked up, the car needs work done to it.
I don't know if this will work but it's worth a try.
My mum wanted to go back and live with her parents in her childhood home - except that her parents were dead and the house she lived in as a child was bombed in the war. I used to say - we will go tomorrow.........
it is beyond difficult to change the mind set of a person with dementia. they are like a dog with a bone, aren't they? diverting method, love lies, it may work for a little while then it starts again. I haven't find aa lasting solution, myself. just a test of endurance. sending you love and believe me, you have my sympathi. hopefully somehow it stops
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