Please help, hospital not letting him eat

[JeffAjaxSmith]

Jeff, her father is extremely ill and his immune system may not be working very well, hence infections. You clearly have a lot of anger about the situations you have experienced with your own father in hospital but I don't think it is helpful to assume the hospital staff in this situation aren't doing what they can to keep her fathee comfortable.
joco, I hope you get more information when the SALT team arrive, best wishes.

Hi @Raggedrobin you are quite right I do get quite angry at neglect those like my dad suffer in hospitals.

Mainly surgical wards .. but on issue of immunity I To don’t have any mine comes from injection and pill box.

That’s why information due dilagance is essentially when dealing with those impaired.

Ever 4 half hours canals need redoing BUT a lot of hospitals don’t as the need doctors to do them in elderly SO are neglated.

Infection control and to cut sepsis risk wards should time date stamp canulas.

But like I say cuts wards dynamics dictate those with out voice suffer AS someone like myself would not ware it.

It’s bad enough the condition with out neglect ... after all you would not neglect a child SO why do most hospitals think it’s acceptable to neglect suffers.

 

[Raggedrobin]

You make some interesting points, especially that people wirh dementia can't remind the staff themselves. However I remain of the opinion that hospital staff do not actually think it is acceptable to neglect sufferers, that is a huge generalisation.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Hi @Raggedrobin you are quite right I do get quite angry at neglect those like my dad suffer in hospitals.

Mainly surgical wards .. but on issue of immunity I To don’t have any mine comes from injection and pill box.

That’s why information due dilagance is essentially when dealing with those impaired.

Ever 4 half hours canals need redoing BUT a lot of hospitals don’t as the need doctors to do them in elderly SO are neglated.

Infection control and to cut sepsis risk wards should time date stamp canulas.

But like I say cuts wards dynamics dictate those with out voice suffer AS someone like myself would not ware it.

It’s bad enough the condition with out neglect ... after all you would not neglect a child SO why do most hospitals think it’s acceptable to neglect suffers.

I think quite a few of your points are relevant to some wards in some hospitals but it is also realistic to say that regardless of how good and diligent the care is ... infections will happen in frail elderly or seriously ill patients.

 

[JeffAjaxSmith]

You make some interesting points, especially that people wirh dementia can't remind the staff themselves. However I remain of the opinion that hospital staff do not actually think it is acceptable to neglect sufferers, that is a huge generalisation.

I hope is but from bitter xmas experience IS too true.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Hi @Raggedrobin you are quite right I do get quite angry at neglect those like my dad suffer in hospitals.

Mainly surgical wards .. but on issue of immunity I To don’t have any mine comes from injection and pill box.

That’s why information due dilagance is essentially when dealing with those impaired.

Ever 4 half hours canals need redoing BUT a lot of hospitals don’t as the need doctors to do them in elderly SO are neglated.

Infection control and to cut sepsis risk wards should time date stamp canulas.

But like I say cuts wards dynamics dictate those with out voice suffer AS someone like myself would not ware it.

It’s bad enough the condition with out neglect ... after all you would not neglect a child SO why do most hospitals think it’s acceptable to

Guidelines are that canulas are date written on the dressing and replaced every 72 hours. When my non dementia OH has had stays in hospital they have carried this out without being reminded.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Joco...I hope things look better in the morning and the SALT team can offer good suggestions.

 

[Joco]

Just a little update as this week has been truly awful.

On Monday the Drs stated that he was not responding to the antibiotics, his CT scan showed he was in the very final stages and therefore he was at end of life. I visited him that evening and was shocked because for the first time in ages he interacted with me and laughed! The dr said he would have days left.

On Tuesday we were planning for him to return home but then another Dr said they had reviewed him and that actually he was improving, had eaten a little and was therefore not at end of life. We were so happy and relieved. He returned home that evening. He was not in a good state when he returned -very sore. Not really happy with the Hospital to be honest.

On Wednesday afternoon his breathing worsened significantly. We had to call an ambulance. The outcome is that he is now at end of life, he is staying at home with us and we are doing our best to keep him comfortable. The palliative care nurse has been out with the medicines for him.

It's just absolutely heartbreaking. I know I'm not ready for him to go yet and I really don't want him to be scared or in pain. My wonderful Dad.

 

[Saffie]

I am so very sorry to hear this. I wonder if many of us are every really ready for the final goodbye.
I think that your father will feel much happier to be ending his life in his own home with his family around him at all times rather than in hospital and I hope that can bring you some comfort in the days to come.
I feel such sympathy for you, it is a terrible time but I hope your father is not in pain and is peaceful.x

 

[JeffAjaxSmith]

Hi @Joco so sorry to hear of your tourment you and father are going through.

I know this living grief is one thing I myself can’t come to turns with.

I can only imagine what you and your dad are going through.

I would try to make most of lucid moments BUT I would not let health care professions write him off.

With my dad I will fight tooth nail for best care treatment RIGT up to the end AS it’s me who as to carry on and live with my conscious

 

[Amy in the US]

Joco, I'm very sorry to read your update. I hope you are getting good support from the palliative care team and that they are making your dad as comfortable as possible.

I'm not sure any of us are ever ready. It's very difficult and I'm sorry.

 

[love.dad.but..]

However much time we have with our pwd and the illness to reconcile it is leading to the inevitable I don't know that any of us are ready. Mum died suddenly we found her...dad died last year after his final years in a dementia nursing home...different circumstances but felt no different mum or dad...I wasn't ready.

I hope your dad is as comfortable and pain free and peaceful as is possible and that you have support around you. Thinking of you both at this horrid time

 

[Izzy]

I'm so sorry to read your update. This is such a hard stage and you must be on an emotional rollercoaster. I so feel for you.

 

[Joco]

Thank you everybody for your kind wishes.

He's asleep almost all of the time, occasionally opens his eyes but doesn't appear to see us. I've been playing lots of his favourite music.

One of the things that is getting to me is the thought he might be feeling thirst. One of the nurses said he wouldn't but then said we don't really know.

It is so heartbreaking, my sympathy to anyone who is or has been through this.

 

[Shedrech]

hi Joco
do talk to the medics about your worry
as the nurse said, your dad's body is shutting down so isn't working as a healthy person's would - his body doesn't want to drink; he feels no thirst
best wishes

 

[Beate]

Don't worry about thirst please. When organs shut down this is no longer an issue. My John was taken off his IV fluid at the end as it would have overloaded his system. They did however provide pink lollipop sticks which you can use to moisten his lips with. Remember - they are not dying because they don't eat or drink - they don't eat or drink because they are dying.
If you can, try to speak to a palliative nurse - they are quite knowledgeable.

 

[Joco]

Don't worry about thirst please. When organs shut down this is no longer an issue. My John was taken off his IV fluid at the end as it would have overloaded his system. They did however provide pink lollipop sticks which you can use to moisten his lips with. Remember - they are not dying because they don't eat or drink - they don't eat or drink because they are dying.
If you can, try to speak to a palliative nurse - they are quite knowledgeable.

Thank you for that last sentence that is actually a really helpful way of putting it and does make perfect sense. That's really helped me to read. Thank you so much. We have the pink lollipop sticks, they are really good.

So sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[malengwa]

Wishing you peace joco, it is horrid, there is no escaping how horrid it is, but I wish your dad a peaceful end now, and you time and space to grieve.

 

[Jessbow]

Thnking of you, its so hard x

 

[Joco]

I had to come back and update after all the supportive messages people had taken the time to write.

Very sadly, my most wonderful and precious Dad passed away at home surrounded by love this morning.

We will never stop missing him.

 

[LadyA]

I'm so sorry, @Joco . My condolences to you and your family.