Please help, hospital not letting him eat

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,820
0
UK
"AT home" No better place to be. Still sad to read your message. Remember him always before this dreadful illness entered your lives.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,962
0
Kent
I am so sorry.... for your dad to be in his home with his loving family around him would have been a great comfort to him...am thinking of you
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,513
0
Near Southampton
I am so sorry. Please accept my sympathy. I am glad your father was at home and that his family were there for him at the end. Hard days ahead but I hope you can take some small comfort from the fact that his battle is over and he will suffer no more.xx
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,712
0
North West
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It was good that after the hospital traumas your dad was able to return home. Most if not all of us would prefer to end our days at home with our loved ones.
 

Cybersis

Registered User
Nov 7, 2017
10
0
We had the same issue with momma. She was in the hospital with pneumonia. She was pocketing her food. I too, felt like the staff at the hospital did not want us to feed her. She acted hungry, but staff was afraid she would start chocking. If that happened, then it would have been a major problem for her. We were still concerned she was hungry. However, she passed away a couple days later.
 

kate070617

Registered User
Jun 4, 2017
4
0
Kent
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father but am glad that his life ended at home and that the family were there with him. This is indeed a difficult time for those left behind but do take comfort from the fact that his battle and suffering is over.

Reading all the previous posts brought back so many feelings and memories of challenges that our family went through before we lost our mother, last June. Take time to rest now and look after yourself. x
 

BAE

New member
Jul 31, 2021
1
0
Hi - my husband is in hospital with the same problem. I queried that he was not receiving any nutrition and the next thing they asked me for permission to insert an NG - feeding tube through his nose. I’m sure if I hadn’t raised it, nothing would have happened. He was so weak - no food for around 9 days - but has picked up considerably since the NG was inserted. They are keeping this up for a week then he will be assessed by SALT on Monday. I wish I could be there but unfortunately visiting is restricted due to Covid. I’m sure that if he comes home we will be able to feed him ourselves, taking time and being careful. Unfortunately the longer he goes without using his swallowing muscles, the more difficult it will be for him to start eating again. He also has lost most speech. So, ask the hospital to insert an NG - otherwise he will starve!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Hello @BAE

Im glad to hear that your husband is improving, but you have posted on the End of Life forum (possibly by mistake?), so I wanted to explain what happens when someone dies from dementia.

People with dementia can die from other reasons - a heart attack, or stroke for example and when that happens it can be quite quick, but when someone dies from dementia it happens slowly. The body closes down over days, weeks, or even months and, as part of this process, they stop eating and drinking and the swallow goes completely. They do not die because they are not eating and drinking - they stop eating and drinking because they are already dying.

When my mum reached End of Life she went 17 days with no food or fluid, but she was not starving to death. Her body was shutting down and no longer needed food or fluid. I expect that if I had insisted she may have been given a NG tube and it may have meant that she lived a n extra few weeks, or even a couple of months longer, but just because you can do something it doesnt necessarily mean that you should (Im talking about a NG tub at End of Life here - not for other reasons). You can still get aspiration pneumonia even with an NG tube, mum would have found the whole thing very traumatic and ultimately I would have had to ask myself - Am I preserving life, or merely prolonging death?