Have not been online for months now and am getting more and more depressed. My son and I were due to take my wife now 69 to a memory clinic last September. Her vascular dementia condition then was mild (passwords/logging on the computer/days of the week) but at the beginning of September she contracted urosepsis before the assessment took place and her condition after 6 weeks in hospital nose dived and she was discharged into a wonderful nursing home but confined to a bucket chair, unable to walk, incontinent, and with challenging behaviour. The 50 plus mile commute to visit her 6 days a week with our old dog that I have now been doing for 10 months (used to be 7 days until friends told me I should take time off for myself) and then returning to an empty house is so deeply depressing. She was so much brighter than me and seeing her for instance trying to raise a beaker and not having the cognition to tilt it to extract fluid when I go in to help her with her lunch is heart breaking. This is such a CRUEL condition. Fortunately she does remember people and I daily use my ipad to show her photos of our son who unfortunately lives 735 miles away in the far NW Highlands of Scotland. He has been wonderful support and takes a long weekend off every month to fly down and visit her and support me but I still often come back home deeply depressed knowing that she never will.