Parents

[Jellybabe]

Hi,
I’ve not been on this site lately, but feel the need to ask for some advice if I may?
Both my parents have Alzheimer’s, my dad mixed Alzheimer’s.
Firstly my dad, I feel he is in the the late stages, for the last three weeks, he has had problems with bowl movements, I’m constantly washing bedding, towels and clothing, I’ve mentioned this to his GP, who have booked him for tests in two weeks time. This of course is no help for him or myself until then. He is also sleeping most of the day, and doesn’t get involved in conversation now, and if he does it doesn’t make any sense. I just wondered if anyone else had family or friends at this stage and could advise please?

My mum, has had Alzheimer’s for some years and now her life consists of shuffling around the kitchen, trying to make endless cups of tea. The worst thing is she can be really nasty towards me, I try and do cleaning, cooking her answer to everything I do is “I did it yesterday “, she clearly didn’t. Tells me to go away and never come back. I’ve tried endless times to get help, but they totally refuse, but I feel I need the support of someone going in on a daily basis.

I’m the only person they have going round to the house, friends do ring but nothing else.

What’s your thoughts please?
Thank you

 

[Kevinl]

My reply could only be that we are thinking about you, please take care. K

 

[Tanera]

Could you ask the gp to make a referral to social services? If it comes from the doctor they can't blame you. But I also don't think there's any reason not to phone social care yourself and explain that you can't continue without help, whether your parents realise they need it or not. Good luck.

 

[Sarasa]

A warm welcome to Dementia Support Forum @Jellybabe. This is a very friendly and supportive site.

You've done amazingly well to look after your parents without help. The time has come though to ignore anything they say about not needing help and get some organised. Do you have Lasting Power of Attorney? If you do and your parents have saving of over £23,500 you could organise some help from an agency. I also agree about calling social services and asking for a needs assessment for your parents and a carers assessment for you. It sounds as though you are getting to the stage where you may not be able to manage on your own much longer and that won't do either your parents or you any good.

It might also be an idea to phone the Support Line and have a chat about what's happening with them.

Dementia Support Line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Jellybabe]

Thank you for your reply
I will contact and arrange some kind of support.

 

[SherwoodSue]

You have done so well up until now. It’s time. You need help and so do they even if they don’t know it.