Panic attacks

PatP

New member
Apr 5, 2024
3
0
West Yorkshire
Hi all, sorry about the long post but I hope you can give me some advice.

My 78 year old husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's December 2021. His only problem so far has been short term memory, ie. he doesn't remember asking a question repeatedly (or the answer). He's pretty good keeping up with life in general, still works in the garden and his workshop, makes lunch and cups of tea, can still follow a recipe when he's preping the protein and veg.

There's been a major drug related problem arising in the the area we live recently so we decided we should move. One of our daughter's spotted a house for sale near to them. We looked, we liked, we put an offer in which was accepted. He had a panic attack soon after I got everything moving!

Things have gone from great to horrendous in the space of 2 weeks. I've had to withdraw our offer, ask the solicitor to give up and send a bill and put off the estate agent we set on to sell our house.

He takes Donepezil and the doc gave him Sertraline which he hated, said it made him feel worse so he refused to take them. His sister recommended Kalms Day, he liked the sound of those as they're herbal, they've not kicked in yet but he's willing to continue taking them.

What do I do when he can no longer take the Kalms, they say maximum of 4 - 6 weeks? What do I do when he says we need to carry on with trying to move as he keeps saying we need to before the house becomes worthless? I'm totally lost!!
 

Fugs

Registered User
Feb 16, 2023
118
0
@PatP my wife's comfort centres around staying in our house and only doing things that she is used to. (Including seeing people that she sees regularly) I know that my wife would not cope with moving. From what you say your husband appears the same. If you feel that you really need to move then you will just have to bite the bullet and go for it, regardless of how your husband responds.
 

cymbid

Registered User
Jan 3, 2024
62
0
im afraid you are going to have to do this (mostly by keeping him in the dark) . It will be difficult. A fait accompli is required. ie the house is sold . We are moving to ??? today
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,575
0
Salford
Sometimes you can use contrariness to your advantage, sometimes as I say.
My wife sometimes refused to eat so I would say OK, I'll cook for myself. Funny when I asked her to get me a plate two plates appeared, knife and fork two of each appeared too. I wanted a shower we had a shower.
If you said the house he (not you) wanted to buy had been sold, might the contrary bit kick in and he'd suddenly want it. Just a thought. K
 

annieka 56

Registered User
Aug 8, 2022
297
0
Hi all, sorry about the long post but I hope you can give me some advice.

My 78 year old husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's December 2021. His only problem so far has been short term memory, ie. he doesn't remember asking a question repeatedly (or the answer). He's pretty good keeping up with life in general, still works in the garden and his workshop, makes lunch and cups of tea, can still follow a recipe when he's preping the protein and veg.

There's been a major drug related problem arising in the the area we live recently so we decided we should move. One of our daughter's spotted a house for sale near to them. We looked, we liked, we put an offer in which was accepted. He had a panic attack soon after I got everything moving!

Things have gone from great to horrendous in the space of 2 weeks. I've had to withdraw our offer, ask the solicitor to give up and send a bill and put off the estate agent we set on to sell our house.

He takes Donepezil and the doc gave him Sertraline which he hated, said it made him feel worse so he refused to take them. His sister recommended Kalms Day, he liked the sound of those as they're herbal, they've not kicked in yet but he's willing to continue taking them.

What do I do when he can no longer take the Kalms, they say maximum of 4 - 6 weeks? What do I do when he says we need to carry on with trying to move as he keeps saying we need to before the house becomes worthless? I'm totally lost!!
 

annieka 56

Registered User
Aug 8, 2022
297
0
That sounds really sad and tough for both of you.
It sounds like his garden and workshop are very important to him so is there any chance of getting every possible help from all directions with regards to the drug problem that is blighting your lives (police/community/councillors/increased house and garden security etc.) So he can continue with the life he was enjoying in the same home?

if not the move he's insisting on is going to be very tricky. If another house came up for sale again near to your daughter, could be stay there for a day or two to get him used to the area and give you a chance to pack of at least clear?

But I can't imagine how even the best planned move couldn't be very stressful because it is, at the best of times. I really feel for you.

I would continue with Kalms regardless and maybe try - recommended to me - Dormeasan Valeria drops (A Vogel) but maybe let your doc know.

good luck