1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Out of the mouths............

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Grannie G, May 2, 2007.

  1. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,722
    Kent
    This morning on waking, I opened the curtains and said, ` It`s a beautiful day.` My husband said, `If I died, who would you say it to.`

    He then asked `When I die, how will you cope?`

    It made me wonder if others have anything to share in this vein.
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    I haven't had that experience yet. It must have been so upsetting for you.

    But on the positive side, he's thinking of you now, and maybe deciding suicide isn't a good idea after all? That must be good news.

    Love,
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,419
    Dear Sylvia,

    I don't have anything to share, I just wanted to say I am thinking of you. He must be extremely depressed as must you.

    Love

    Jennifer
     
  4. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    Hi Sylvia,

    I remember my Granny, a born worrier, saying to my Grandpa : 'Oh Ted, what will you do if anything happens to me?'. My Grandpa (a man of few words) merely said 'I've got me plans ;) '. Not the reply she was expecting!

    In fact she did die first and my Grandpa came to live with us. My Granny had had dementia but my Grandpa had covered up for her for who knows how long. When she died he was a lost soul. They had been together for so long - they married after my Grandpa came back from the First World War and my Granny died on their 60th Wedding Anniversary :( . My Grandpa died about a year later, mainly of a broken heart.

    My godfather was asked a similar question by his wife along the lines of 'What do you think you'll do if I die?' 'Well' he replied 'I'll go and see my cousin that you don't like in Canada, I've always fancied going to such and such a place.....' After about half an hour of him telling her what he was going to do she came to the conclusion that he couldn't wait for her to pop off! That was some years ago and she is still around cramping his style. :D

    I know none of the above helps. My Dad often talks about his death. This varies from 'Two weeks?? I'll be dead by then!' through 'You all just want me to die' to 'I'm not ready to die yet you know!'. This last comment being made halfway through a 3 mile walk having just scrambled down a steep bank.:eek:

    Sue
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    How similar our husbands seems to be!! Yes David often wants to talk about how I will cope. Will I have enough money, what will I do with the house. When he is on the subject we go through it time and time again.

    He also frequenetly says 'how do people manage without a Jan'. When I mention that carers can come in he 'goes deaf'.

    Underneath it all I know how much he still loves and cares for me ialthough on a daily basis it is not always so noticeable.

    Sorry we have to go through all this but at least we are sharing some of the agony with others. Take care Beckyjan
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,722
    Kent
    Thanks BeckyJan.

    What I found so upsetting, but at the same time heartening, is he still feels he`s contributing. The concern he feels is inherent, he has always been a worrier, and his greatest fear, that of something happening to me, he is transferring. So however ill he is, he is still able to put himself in my shoes.

    It`s comforting to know we are not alone in this.

    With love
     
  7. cynron

    cynron Registered User

    Sep 26, 2005
    429
    east sussex
    When i said one day to my husband what would you do without me?

    He replied I dont even want to try.

    This was when he could still communicate.

    Cynron x x
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,722
    Kent
    Hi Cynthia, it`s replies like that, that help see us through. Thank you for sharing.

    With love
     
  9. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    My father used to pray every day for my mother's health, he knew he couldn't manage without her.
     

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