Our Story

[flowerpot]

Hi Pat, thanks for sharing your story with us. Your love shines through it all. Hope Donal recovers from his chest infection soon.

It's a very long bumpy road that we're all on with so much heartbrake along the way and much sadness.

Take care and thinking of you xx

 

[PatH]

It's really scary at the home today. Infection control are now in and the atmosphere is really tense. From what i can gather the majority of Donal's floor are ill. He is coping with his chest infection quite well ,I am so nervous about the Vand D.
I've not experienced this before ,it's very much a waiting game . Pat

 

[Sox]

Dear Pat - just caught up with your thread again and I am so sorry to hear that as well as the D&V in Donal's home, he also has a chest infection. I think any physical illness is scary particularly in AZ patients - I do hope Donal doesn't get the "bug" and picks up from his chest infection. Do take care yourself - you don't want to get D&V!! Hope you have a good night and better news tomorrow. Take care. Sox

 

[Loopiloo]

Dear Pat

I have only just read your thread and am deeply moved by your journey, and your video. It reminded me of my husband and myself in many ways. Also to count my blessings that he has what abilities he does still have. Now in residentail care almost four months. Thank you.

The D & V outbreak sounds very bad, I do so hope Donal does not get it, and that he makes a good recovery from the chest infection.

Do take care of yourself also. I shall be checking in for your news.

Loo xx

 

[PatH]

Was down again tonight , I just need to be there. First death from this Vand D was at 7.10 pm tonight ,an 80yr old lady. I am just terrified , I would just love to lock Donal away until this is over.Pat

 

[Tender Face]

Dear Pat, just caught up and wanted you to know I am thinking of you and Donal.

My mother’s CH had an outbreak of D&V when she was desperately sick herself (although she thankfully escaped the ‘bug’). I can still recall that eerie – almost surreal – atmosphere. Just having residents kept in their own rooms, key staff absent (because they had come down with it themselves) and very restricted visiting all adds to the anxiety, doesn’t it? And yet, we know logically that is part of the infection control and containing/overcoming any further outbreak ....

Logic doesn’t always come into how we feel though, does it?

So sad, the outbreak seems to have directly caused a fatality ... that is bound to have a direct bearing on other residents who may understand, their carers and indeed all the staff. Strength to everyone.

Sending love, Karen, x

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Pat

I hope things will improve soon and Donal will be more comfortable

 

[Skye]

Oh Pat, that's so awful, when Donal's so ill anyway. Your heart must be in your mouth.

Thoughts and prayers for you both.

Love,

 

[PatH]

At the minute this is a nightmare. All fans have been removed ,no vacs allowed ,I have not witnessed anything like this. Spoke to the lady's daughter this morning, she aspirated because she was being so sick. My stomach turned , Donal has aspirated many times and I now expect it because of his swallow but if it happens with sickness I will be devastated. We have been through so much and have had to accept every problem that has come our way but I will not cope with losing him to a sickness bug.
I know my mind is in overdrive because as the daughter was talking to me I wasn't really listening properly, all I was doing was thinking about what lay ahead for us and feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for all the support.
Sorry for the ramble ,Im in a bad place at the minute. Patx

 

[Skye]

Pat, hold tight. A lot of us are thinking of you.

Love,

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Dear Pat, I'm really sorry to hear how frightening this has all become for you.

Try not to dwell on that other lady. As you know, aspiration can happen even without the D and V, and she might have succumbed at any time. Only a post mortem could ascertain the true cause of her death, even though you and her daughter have your thoughts about it. The home knows how worried you are and I would expect they are taking every precaution with Donal.

Stay strong. There is only so much you can do in this situation and all the worry in the world won't help, it'll just tire you out. Thinking of you and Donal and praying for his speedy recovery.

 

[Sox]

Dear Pat - I, as are so many others, am thinking so much about you and I do hope the situation at Donal's CH will quickly improve. How frightening for you especially on top of everything else. Try not to worry too much, I know thats easy to say but it really doesn't do any good. Look after your self and take care. Love Sox

 

[Loopiloo]

Dear Pat

I also am thinking about you and how frightened you must be, and hoping the situation soon improves. I realize nothing can stop your worries, comfort you, and can only wish you continuing strength to get through this, and for Donal to continue to cope well with his infection, and soon be clear of it.

Loo xx

 

[PatH]

Two more cases last night, I stayed until quite late. Donal so far has his on going daily problems, his antibotic has finished ,I gave him his juice this morning with great difficulty I must say. They couldnt get him to swallow his fresubin today.
There was a meeting with the owner, Nurse manager,Public Health and the infection conrol team. Six samples have been sent to culture. someone mentioned this morning that they were also considering the possibility that maybe that it came from the food but I would have thought that all the residents would have been sick at the same time. If it was the food ,Donal would be safe .
Thanks for all your support ,Ive needed it. I know what my problem is and I said it today to one of the carers ,'Im looking for someone to blame' and I know Ive got to get rid of this frame of mind.! Pat

 

[Skye]

,'Im looking for someone to blame' and I know Ive got to get rid of this frame of mind.!

Pat, I think that's natural. I know I wanted someone to blame when John got MRSA in his heel. But I know most of us are carriers, and it is only really dangerous for someone vulnerable.

I think the same applies ot the V&D virus. Anyone could have brought it in on their handm and it spreads like wildfire. We were once on a cruise ship where many people became infected. It was a nightmare, no-one dared touch any handrails, though the staff were constantly going round disinfecting, and people affected were kept in their cabins. Someone had obviously come onboard with the virus, and that was that.

As long as Donal is in his room, and the staff use gloves, he should be OK. The trouble is that residents who are mobile are bound to spread it, because by and large they don't remember about hygiene.

I hope and pray so.

xxxxx

 

[PatH]

Yes, you're right Hazel I know. He's just so vulnerable ( like they all are) I just want to protect him from something that could have been caused by someones negligence. A couple of the carers are back and they were saying how ill they were and i'm thinking 'these poor vulnerable residents '
Im so lucky he's just down the road from home. Pat
I think I spend more hours in the day down the road than I do here, I just manage to keep the housework up to date!!

 

[ann vickers]

pat

your story made me cry ,my husband has vas/dem 4, 9 years now he is only 69 i have that guilt, my husband can still walk but thats all he dose all day long wont sit down not even for a meal he cant talk has not done so 4, 3 years he has no life every think his done 4 him its so sad 2 see our husband go this way he was a happy man b4 this when my husband was at home i got 2 a stage where i started 2 hate him ,he is a care home has been 4 ,2 years i know he is in the best place ,he dont konw me much now just wants 2 walk ,this letter is no help 2 u ,but needed 2 say i know where u are comeing from not nice seeing them go the way thay are all the best ann

 

[Tender Face]

Pat, my take is you stay in whatever frame of mind helps you through this. No need to feel any guilt about being angry, in despair, looking to blame .... (And why the flippin’ heck not? I would be!!!! Someone or something poses a threat to me or mine .....????!!!!!! )

Right here and now you are living a nightmare ...... give the guilt a shove and feel however you need to feel. No-one has been exactly in your shoes ... some of us may understand some parallels, but certainly no-one should judge the myriad emotions you must be going through and how you might react to them at this time.

You take care of you and Donal. Other people are not your responsibility (although I know the lovely caring person you are will make you feel so at times). Please look after YOU.

... and know your friends are thinking of you both constantly.

Much love to you, Karen x

 

[PatH]

Have been with Donal most of the day ,no new cases on Donal's floor but two downstairs. The residents who are ill on his floor seem to have a good day and then start being sick again. If we could just get another 48hrs maybe I will relax. The home is like a little 'ghost town 'it will be great to have it back to normal or as normal as a home can be.
Ann,I understand it isnt easy ,and we all cope in our own different ways.I thought I had come to terms with Ad and I thought we had met all hurdles except of course the final one ,then this V andD came along something we had never dealt with in all the years Donal has been ill and I lost myself to complete panic .
Karen, Thanks , I do know I have been in total panic mode, the realistic part of me is not working.I will be very interested in the sample results. Its been a s*** week only to be compounded by some sad news regarding a friend.
Thanks for the support and has been good 'to talk' Patx

 

[Scottie45]

Dear Pat

Sorry have only just looked in on this thread,so sorry to hear that things have not been good at your husband,s care home,i hope things pick up soon.Hope your husband,s chest infection clears up soon.Try and take care of yourself while this is going on,Marian xx