After much discussion, research and planning, my sister and I took the decision to put live-in care in place for our parents and this starts tomorrow - replacing the four daily visits from carers that have been going on for just over a year. We are intelligent, sensible women, who truly believe that this will be beneficial for all four of us. Our parents' quality of life will improve and the immense pressure on both of us should be significantly reduced. We certainly wouldn't embark on such costly care, if we didn't think it was the right thing to do.
So it is irritating, and even insulting, to have (probably well-meaning) neighbours, current carers etc questioning why we are doing it, what it will entail and so on. We have prepared encyclopaedic levels of background information so that all concerned know what our parents are capable of and what they need support with. Having a neighbour ask, therefore, 'Will the carer still let your mum go out for walks on her own?', is just unnecessary - we know Mum is currently safe to do that and have advised accordingly. I was almost tempted to reply 'No, she will keep them both prisoner and not let them do anything they want to'! I wish people on the outside, who have little or no experience of dementia, and who aren't on the inside of our situation, would mind their own business! Some actually know my sister and me well and know how much we care about our parents and how hard we have worked to support them and so should also know that everything we do is in their best interests - frankly I'm offended by some of these interventions...but trying my best to ignore them. Have others experienced this kind of thing? I'm sure the answer will be a resounding 'yes'!
So it is irritating, and even insulting, to have (probably well-meaning) neighbours, current carers etc questioning why we are doing it, what it will entail and so on. We have prepared encyclopaedic levels of background information so that all concerned know what our parents are capable of and what they need support with. Having a neighbour ask, therefore, 'Will the carer still let your mum go out for walks on her own?', is just unnecessary - we know Mum is currently safe to do that and have advised accordingly. I was almost tempted to reply 'No, she will keep them both prisoner and not let them do anything they want to'! I wish people on the outside, who have little or no experience of dementia, and who aren't on the inside of our situation, would mind their own business! Some actually know my sister and me well and know how much we care about our parents and how hard we have worked to support them and so should also know that everything we do is in their best interests - frankly I'm offended by some of these interventions...but trying my best to ignore them. Have others experienced this kind of thing? I'm sure the answer will be a resounding 'yes'!