Thanks for taking the time to reply, it hit home
Mum WILL NOT go to the docs and I dont care who on here says I must get her there I CANT and SHE WILL NOT.... *crying*
My Dad is my hero and he is falling apart...
My Mum is my everything and she has gone......
Another only child checking in with you! I'm 48, Dad was diagnosed around Easter last year with Alzheimer's, and has been in care since October. Between Easter and October was a period of pure hell and immense worry.
With regard to your parents - if your mum won't go to the doctor (not even if you pretend it's for something else? Has sometimes worked for others), would it be possible to call the GP, explain the circumstances, and see if s/he will come out to you? Long shot, I know, but might be worth a try.
I think all of us on here will relate to you grieving for the loss of your mum. BUT - you can decide to try to make the best of the situation and her condition. It's hard, but it can be done. Reading as much as you can about dementia is probably the best way to start. For me, Oliver Sacks' book,
Contented Dementia, has proved a huge help in understanding how this horrible disease feels from the sufferer's perspective, and what you can do to help make sure their life can be as happy and content as possible. Even if you just take away from it the core principles, I think you'll find it very useful, and will hopefully enable you to have more 'quality time' with your mum.
As for your dad, it's obviously important that he gets as much support as possible. You being there for him will help, but he may need external help, too. If he doesn't want to phone Social Services, or get them involved in any way yet, encourage him to speak to Age UK or the Alzheimer's Society so that he can get an idea of what he can do next, and what he can ask for/is entitled to by way of support. His GP may also be useful in this regard.
What IS important is that you ask for help. This is a bloody awful disease, and too many carers become overwhelmed and ill themselves through the stress (both physical and mental) of caring for someone with dementia. Don't let it be you or your dad.
Good luck, and keep posting on here.