Obsession with buying food

[sunny beach hut]

Hi everyone - I'm new to talking point and hope one of you may be able to either give advice or commiserate!
My mum is in the early stages of alzheimer's (diagnosed approx 7 months ago). She lives alone and has an obsession thinking she doesn't have enough food in the house. This is despite her having cupboards and freezer/fridge full of food. THis causes friends and relatives problems when she calls them saying she doesn't have food.
My reminders to her when I speak to her are met with resistance. I gently ask her to look in the fridge or cupboards but she won't listen. Is this usual or does anyone have advice please.
It may sound trivial having seen some other problems on here but it causes friction between us and I don't want that.

 

[Sue J]

Hi sunny beach hut
Welcome to TP
If your Mum has no memory of buying food, at all, she won't listen to someone telling her that she has so she needs some, to her it's not an obsession, as she has no memory, but to someone looking on is exactly what it looks like.

I have far too much food in for the same reason, I totally forget when in a bad phase what I have bought, I have no recall. When I come into a better phase I find things, some of which I still don't recall buying and other things which I remember buying but have no access to that memory when I am bad.

Since being unwell I often do not feel up to going out so need to make sure I have enough in to manage when I am bad without bothering others.

Could you maybe ask her if she has any spare ...... as you need some and it would save you going to the shops? Just a thought but sure others will be along too.
Best wishes
Sue

 

[chris53]

Hello sunny beach hut, a warm welcome from me also to Talking Point my mum has been ill since 2009 , and extra buying of food and other household things seems to go hand in hand with her dementia, I have lost count of the cupboards over full of kitchen towels and various other things and the fridge with about 6 pints of milk,but no butter! it does as Sue J has said it seems to be when my mum is in a bad phrase, usually if she is tired or something takes her out of her routine your mums friends and family could try and maybe tell mum they will pick her up something "later" however, my mum is of the generation where cupboards,fridge etc had to be well stocked, in case "someone pops in-the weather is bad-cant get out-shops are closed" it has helped my mum if she does a shopping list, so i can "remind" her if she needs anything, and then for her to cross off the items she has already got. I am sure more of us will be along with good ideas. Take care-Chris

 

[lexy]

deleted

 

[Oxy]

Only concern would be food going off. Does she actually cook? If not just get in ready meals like wiltshire F*rm foods for lunch. Bread for breakfast/tea and things for sarnies, tinned soups, fruit, salads so she can't get ill. Keep an eye on fridge when visiting.
At least kitchen towels or loo rolls don't go off!

 

[clareglen]

Yes, yes & yes. My mum now in a care home & she's still going on about it 'I haven't been shopping'. 'No, but you don't need to everything is provided for in here.' She's still not suited. It's like an obsession. There is a big cupboard full of toilet rolls She would say 'that's not many'.

 

[Oxy]

Another point to remember is that the older loved ones talked about here are going back in their memories. Many would have suffered hunger during the war to a greater or lesser extent. This may influence hamster ing of provisions. Understandable, only that carer has to deal with it.

 

[Jessbow]

Does she go shopping independently, is she taken shopping or does someone shop for her?

 

[Sue J]

Another point to remember is that the older loved ones talked about here are going back in their memories. Many would have suffered hunger during the war to a greater or lesser extent. This may influence hamster ing of provisions. Understandable, only that carer has to deal with it.

Very good point Oxy , likely too that they had no fridges, no sell by or use by dates etc. Also rationing so needing to get whatever you could when you went to the shops.

 

[WILLIAMR]

Hi everyone - I'm new to talking point and hope one of you may be able to either give advice or commiserate!
My mum is in the early stages of alzheimer's (diagnosed approx 7 months ago). She lives alone and has an obsession thinking she doesn't have enough food in the house. This is despite her having cupboards and freezer/fridge full of food. THis causes friends and relatives problems when she calls them saying she doesn't have food.
My reminders to her when I speak to her are met with resistance. I gently ask her to look in the fridge or cupboards but she won't listen. Is this usual or does anyone have advice please.
It may sound trivial having seen some other problems on here but it causes friction between us and I don't want that.

Hi

When my step mother went in to care we found loads of cleaning material and soap in the bungalow.
I think there was enough for about 10 years.
We have shared it out with the family.


William

 

[Icicle]

Hi

When my step mother went in to care we found loads of cleaning material and soap in the bungalow.
I think there was enough for about 10 years.
We have shared it out with the family.


William

I also have vascular dementia, only just diagnosed, I have for the last two years had a compulsion to buy, not just food and cleaning items,
but clothing,shoes, handbags and personal items.
I am aware I am doing it but can't stop myself. Is this usual type behaviour for this complaint ?

 

[WILLIAMR]

I also have vascular dementia, only just diagnosed, I have for the last two years had a compulsion to buy, not just food and cleaning items,
but clothing,shoes, handbags and personal items.
I am aware I am doing it but can't stop myself. Is this usual type behaviour for this complaint ?

Hi Icicle

I don't know the answer.
My step mother only bought cleaning products.

She accused a young nurse of stealing her money.
That was not true as her money was at home.

William

 

[alison1981]

My mum is obsessed with buying Halls mentholyptus sweets. She eats them in bed at night and is always accusing us of stealing them! Every time she goes out she buys 4 packs of Halls and some sugar free sweets for me! I have about 5 bags of sugar free sweets to eat and not having a sweet tooth, they will take me until Christmas 2015 to eat them all.

 

[Ann Mac]

Mil frets about clothes, and several times a week will ask me to take her to buy some item or other as she says she has only what she is wearing - her wardrobed is packed, but she won't believe me when I say to her not to worry, that she has at least 6 more cardigans, or over 30 tops. She can get upset, she can get angry and refuses to go check herself, often saying she has looked, and none of the clothes are hers, or that she has looked in the wardrobe and its empty. When we are out, at Supermarkets, she often decides that she wants to buy this or that item of clothing - I've learn't to make sure that I have her cards on me, as she tends to lose money so only carries a little, and will ask me to buy, saying she will pay me back later - which just doiesn't happen, lol!

When we started clearing her house, there were 3 double wardrobes, four chests of drawers, 2 or 3 laundry baskets, and a small back bedroom piled high with clothes she had bought - mainly from charity shops - and in a massive variety of sizes. Also about 40 handbags, which is another item she often tells me she 'needs' to buy. So I think this obsession has been going on for quite a while before she moved in with us!

 

[clareglen]

When we started clearing her house, there were 3 double wardrobes, four chests of drawers, 2 or 3 laundry baskets, and a small back bedroom piled high with clothes she had bought - mainly from charity shops - and in a massive variety of sizes. Also about 40 handbags, which is another item she often tells me she 'needs' to buy. So I think this obsession has been going on for quite a while before she moved in with us!

Same here, clothes, shoes, handbags as well as food & toilet rolls. I was sick of the battles to try & stop her buying things when I took her shopping. Latterly she was in wheelchair with a wheelchair trolley so she couldn't run off & get stuff. Mum in care home now & I've got to start clearing her house out, it'll take months. This obsession with buying began well before the traditional dementia set in, years & years ago, so I'm wondering if it's a forerunner of things to come. I'd done my big shop the other day & had a few cakes stacked up on side & one of my daughter's said "when shall we start questioning you on the cakes"

 

[DazeInOurLives]

Hi everyone - I'm new to talking point and hope one of you may be able to either give advice or commiserate!
My mum is in the early stages of alzheimer's (diagnosed approx 7 months ago). She lives alone and has an obsession thinking she doesn't have enough food in the house. This is despite her having cupboards and freezer/fridge full of food. THis causes friends and relatives problems when she calls them saying she doesn't have food.
My reminders to her when I speak to her are met with resistance. I gently ask her to look in the fridge or cupboards but she won't listen. Is this usual or does anyone have advice please.
It may sound trivial having seen some other problems on here but it causes friction between us and I don't want that.

Taking Mum's cupboard doors off was a revelation to me...and to her. She didn't turn a hair at being able to see directly in all the cupboards at once and was actually comforted to know how well stocked up she was. Doesn't work for the fridge through. :/

If that is too much to consider, maybe some of the contents of the cupboards could be left out on the counters...?

 

[Mango]

Bread, milk and buiscuits

With my Mum, the food purchasing obsession covers bread, milk and packets of biscuits. The milk keeps for ages, and we put surplus bread in the freezers (she has two!).

The biscuits are more of a problem. She does not eat them, and only the occasional packet goes to a morning tea or to the Food Bank box at her church.

Even if I gently point out that she has lots of biscuits, she calmly replies that she can always do with more. I go with the flow. There is no point reasoning or arguing. And hey, she could be obsessed with more expensive items!

Every few months I surreptitiously remove the older packets and give them to family or (with some very odd ones) feed them to the birds.

I always have to remind myself not to sweat the small stuff. But on a bad day, when she states, "We have to go shopping because I need biscuits", I end up with a lot of bite marks on my tongue!

 

[Liz57]

Funny but my mum used to be like this but for the last couple of weeks has been quite the opposite. Now I can't get her to buy food when I take her shopping she'll pick up a couple of items (usually biscuits, ready made triffle and chocolate!) and say she's got more than enough in the fridge ("I've got eggs and bacon" - she hasn't!) and refuses to get anything else. As a result, I'm now buying food for her everyday and "finding it" in her fridge when I visit at mealtimes. Mind you, we still have 5 block of cheese mouldering nicely in her fridge.

 

[MERENAME]

all so familiar

all of it.

 

[WILLIAMR]

Funny but my mum used to be like this but for the last couple of weeks has been quite the opposite. Now I can't get her to buy food when I take her shopping she'll pick up a couple of items (usually biscuits, ready made triffle and chocolate!) and say she's got more than enough in the fridge ("I've got eggs and bacon" - she hasn't!) and refuses to get anything else. As a result, I'm now buying food for her everyday and "finding it" in her fridge when I visit at mealtimes. Mind you, we still have 5 block of cheese mouldering nicely in her fridge.

Oddly one daughter I helped mother did not eat for about 3 weeks in the day while she was at work and the excuse she gave was it was too hot. It was hot at the time. I think it was July and the daughter was not over concerned.
The daughter only picked up there was something wrong when the temperature cooled and the mother started doing other odd things.

William