1. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    Does anyone know how long it takes for the funding to go through for a nursing home via SS. We have been waiting for weeks for the funding to go through. They did tell me it would take time, but i am very worried now about how things are taking its toll on my moms mental health as well as her own physical health decline as carer for my dad. Though i have stressed to SW that i think mom is at breaking point, and i am now realy worried that mom will totaly fall apart and then i'm going to be in an even bigger mess than what we are now if she does.What the hell am i going to do if she does pop the pills as a way out. Do people out there realise how desprate carers can get when looking after someone with AD for so long. Sorry this is so depressing, but shes only 70 and i don't want to lose my mom as well. It feels like i've whatched my dad go through a dark tunnel of no return, and my mom go down a slippery slope. Would it help if mom went to her GP to see if he could move things any faster? On top of whats going on the home care she has twice a week hasn't turned up for 3 weeks and respite i booked with SW aparently asn't been booked in at all when she rang to comfirm. I know i will regret doing this post tomorrow but i'm getting so fed up with the strain of holding things together for them. They don't desserve all this in there twilight years, and its so sad to have to watch them go through it. Sorry this has been such a long post. :( Janet :(
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Janet,
    No need to regret the post - it's how you feel now.
    Right in your situation I would get the telephone numbers of the GP, SW CPN and anyone else and get on the phone and start telling them how desperate the situation is. Stress that mum is getting to the end of her tether (Though she wouldn't admit it to them). Ask them if dad cannot go into a NH in the near future then what extra support is available for mum. Be shocked that the carers haven't been turning up. Whilst they think mum is coping, then they will not rush to change the situation.
    Hope you feel a bit better in the morning.
    Love Helen
     
  3. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    Amy. Thanks for your reply. I'm going to try my upmost to get things sorted tomorrow. But i spent most of my two days of last week trying to sort things out, and it is so frustrating feeling like you are getting nowhere.It didn't help with dad getting a new SW last week as well. It's a real help knowing tp is here for you when you need them. Thanks again. Janet
     
  4. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    On both occasions when my mum went to a home (first to a 'care' home, then to a nursing home) the funding came through extremely quickly. However, the first time she was in emergency respite care in a council run home under threat of closure and the second time she had been in hospital for a month after breaking her hip in the 'care' home.

    Obviously if you are a 'bed blocker' then your funding will come through much quicker than if someone is muddling through as best they can at home.

    It shouldn't be this way, but it seems that it is.

    Helen has given excellent advice and I hope you manage to get something sorted out soon for everyones sakes Janet.
     
  5. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    I never thought about that noelphobic, Spoke to SW today and she is going to get back to me on certain things that are going wrong for mom at the moment. Care assessment lady is trying to sort things out as well. Booked mom in to see her GP because shes so low at the moment, and a nice lady called round to see her today from the Alzheimers society, which made her feel that someone cares. I'm looking on the brighter side tonight. Thanks again.:) Janet :)
     
  6. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hiya Janet
    I can totally relate to your plight. Mum has AD and we have been 'coping' for a long time now.
    We arranged carers and meals and wheels through SS, but my brother and I were worried, the time had come for a NH. We approached SS, and nothing happened.
    Soooooooo, off we went in search of a suitable home, we saw the good, the bad, and the down right ugly. But after a week of searching we found one, and they had a room become available which we begged for. That settled we then needed the funding from SS until we sell mums flat. Basically my brother and I each phoned SS at least twice a day, each time having a hissy fit, said fit getting worse each time we called. The upshot was they arranged the assessment within 4 days, (last Friday), it went to panel yesturday, funding through today. Bottom line is through our own experience cope and they will let you. He who shouts loudest gets the action, (and this was on the advice of my own GP). We also had fantastic help from the manager of the NH, who obviously was more experienced with dealing with SS than us.
    So, get your voice into gear, and let them have it. Good luck.
    Cate
     
  7. willemm

    willemm Registered User

    Sep 20, 2006
    41
    Hi Janet
    I've just been through a similar situation with my wife, and agree that you will have to shout "urgent" or "breaking point" or similar to your Care Manager (which you should have) who deals with your application for SS funding.
    My situation was lingering, but when I brought my wife home from respite 2 weeks ago, I knew I was in trouble, just couldn't cope anymore. My back (already weak) was painful, and my shoulders giving way due to the huge physical effort needed to support my wife, in spite of home-help efforts.
    Our care manager was brilliant, I had fortunately found a room available in a local home but our case hadn't gone to panel. Our manager arranged for the room to be given pending the application which she pushed forward to that week. The approval was given a few days later.
    But only because I had made it clear that I was close to breaking point.
    Hope you have similar success - your case truly deserves it.
    Good luck and best wishes
     
  8. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    Thanks for all your replies. Things reached critical point for me on wednesday afternoon. Got home from work and rang mom. She had totaly lost the plot. Both still in night clothes. She had missed a appointment for dad for an assesment, because she was in such a state. And she had got all her days mixed up. Well to cut a long story short, it took me 2 hours on the phone getting things sorted, that should have been sorted out 2 days ago, if the sw had got back to me then. It is going to funding again next tuesday, so am keeping my fingers crossed. Restpite at the end of the month as been booked, and will see if home care turns up in the morning. :rolleyes: Janet :rolleyes:
     

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