now its mums journey

[TheJourneyWithToughKenaMan]

Im sorry to hear of these challenging times for you. Im in aww of your strength and love your family is exhibiting for your parents. Please take care of yourself and know were all here going through something similar and are feelign your heartache and pain. Much Love!!

 

[campervan21]

Thank you I am lucky having the support and love of my sister and brothers, we're all there for each other, I read other threads and am amazed at the strength of the other carers ..

 

[campervan21]

Long time since I have written on my post, I have had a lot happen since way back , I read and follow other posts and find these have helped with mum.
She has deteriorated so much since last summer and after dads funeral.
Try to keep upbeat, have support etc, I see mum twice a week, feed her , give tablets when she lets you, siblings visit other days, visits are now as careers not as sons and daughters.

Always losing hearing aids, now we have had a run of a few weeks and not lost them, yay.
Social services sorted three careers a day, we were all so relieved, what a help that would be, until mum had other ideas, she decided she didn't want them and she could manage without them, she told the community nurse she has four meals a day, she is a skinny as anything and it is perfectly obvious she does not have four meals a day.

I am going to start putting down things again to read back, I can't believe how things have turned out, beggars belief.

 

[campervan21]

Also memory visit cancelled she has no reason to go, they have made her another appointment see what happens nearer the time. Community nurse paid her a visit, high risk of falls in the home, refused a zimmer and a stair rail, some days we sit and chat about the old days, other days.......

 

[campervan21]

I walk to see mum unless hubby available to give me a lift, I don't mind walking I have taken retirement I was 60 in February,so I like to take the walk, Can sort prescriptions out now , simple enough task you would think, however, when all of us work full time and have to take time out to ring Drs, get samples, take to Drs, fetch prescription, take to mum, suddenly a few hours out your work day, so now I can at least go and sort this task out.

Which over the last few weeks I have done several times, seems mum has constant water infection, makes her feel rubbish poor thing, she looks so frail.

Will go this morning, quite breezy out, so at least won't frazzle like I did yesterday, weather was glorious.
Go and put bin back in, yesterday was bin day, so I go Tuesday morning to put bin out, definitely a job she can no longer do, I am absolutely amazed, how one frail, never eats old lady can fill a big bin to the top.

 

[campervan21]

Got a lift which helps, she was cold today so she wanted fire turned up plus heating on, fetched her cardigan for her to put on, gave her antibiotic and toast and few cuppas, sat talking about the royal wedding, she wasn’t impressed her street having a party, to be honest none of the familiar faces of long ago, but be a super day for some.

I will watch on telly, sis visiting Saturday brother on Sunday

 

[campervan21]

Went yesterday she’d cooked some chicken for the dog, oh yes a dog, she’d managed to attract every green bottle fly in the area, I spent half my visit swatting and clearing

 

[Shedrech]

hi @campervan21
I hope it's proving useful to keep this diary kind of thread
I know what you mean about the difference between working and having all the extra arrangements to make, and being retired so being able to take them in one's stride - hope you don't fall into the 'trap' of being a bit too available (let's face it we all do!)
funny how feeding pets stays as important, but doesn't translate into making and eating meals
sorry, musing - just popped in to say hi

 

[campervan21]

hi @campervan21
I hope it's proving useful to keep this diary kind of thread
I know what you mean about the difference between working and having all the extra arrangements to make, and being retired so being able to take them in one's stride - hope you don't fall into the 'trap' of being a bit too available (let's face it we all do!)
funny how feeding pets stays as important, but doesn't translate into making and eating meals
sorry, musing - just popped in to say hi

Nice to hear from you, no hopefully I won’t always be on standby, I work round my siblings re visits, they all work, we all get on and I realise reading posts on TP , I am lucky , seems to work between us, though even with all of us we all worn out yes really funny how mum can feed the dog make sure the vet is involved, however she has to be cajoled to have dr visit.

 

[campervan21]

☀️ morning here , brother visiting mum today so I am trying to catch up on cleaning, got workmen doing jobs at ours so it’s constantly dusty, which sometimes just has to stay that way until can be cleaned. Was walking everywhere trying to sort mum out with prescription and water sample.

I felt so tired yesterday I fell asleep in the afternoon, , then had to snap into action for daughter and family arriving for tea, always a joy

 

[campervan21]

Took the care bracelet and equipment back last week as well, she couldn’t understand how it worked, she constantly hid the bracelet , I would be getting two or three calls a day about it being unplugged, switched off, , just seemed it was never going to work for her, and especially for us if she needed to summon help, so after discussion it’s gone , she can phone my brother which she does, a lot,

 

[campervan21]

Brother rang, mum quiet he said subdued, sad for her really, hard to know what to do

 

[campervan21]

Been to see mum this morning , she is feeling the cold alot now, fed her she ate everything I gave her, she doesn’t get food for herself, she actually said she needs help, brother back on to SS, we cancelled 3 carers a day in February due to mum saying she didn’t need them, , however mum has deteriorated since then even more, so will see what happens, she so frail and thin how does she keep going.

 

[campervan21]

What a week, mum has lost so much weight over the last few months, nurse came to her at home weighed her She’s now touching under 7 stone , carers are having to come in again not till after bank holiday ss cant sort till after, community matron getting involved, never heard of that role, she’s cold constantly, so frail, wants to sleep poor mum

 

[Shedrech]

hi @campervan21
the weight loss is a worry
but very good that home care visits will start again soon
sounds daft, but would your mum wear bedsocks, in winter it makes such a difference to how warm I feel

 

[campervan21]

hi @campervan21
the weight loss is a worry
but very good that home care visits will start again soon
sounds daft, but would your mum wear bedsocks, in winter it makes such a difference to how warm I feel

She wears bed socks " when nurse visited she did an mot, checking everywhere, first time to be honest, took her socks off and her feet were black where she had walked outside without shoes on, so foot person visiting now, do you know what the role of the community matron is, never heard of one, thank you for replying, it's very worrying time, lost dad last year, it's like seeing that all over again

 

[campervan21]

We always checked dads feet and made sure they were as good as could be for him, even though in a nh, as they said we responsible for manicures, pedicures, so busy worrying and sorting other things out for mum, feet were last thing on our minds

 

[Shedrech]

I just did a search and this is one of the results
https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/job-profiles/community-matron#
so it's pretty good that one will be visiting - I'd bend their ear about every concern you have

I remember the first time I really thought to check dad's feet, as he had used to make a regular visit to a chiropodist to have his nails cut and his feet checked - I was shocked at what a state they were in - I just hadn't realised that it's OK to keep the majority of the body clean with a flannel wash, but if 'you' keep your slippers on to do this, the feet are missed - and, of course, they are tricky to keep clean and tidy yourself if bending is a problem

 

[campervan21]

I just did a search and this is one of the results
https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/job-profiles/community-matron#
so it's pretty good that one will be visiting - I'd bend their ear about every concern you have

I remember the first time I really thought to check dad's feet, as he had used to make a regular visit to a chiropodist to have his nails cut and his feet checked - I was shocked at what a state they were in - I just hadn't realised that it's OK to keep the majority of the body clean with a flannel wash, but if 'you' keep your slippers on to do this, the feet are missed - and, of course, they are tricky to keep clean and tidy yourself if bending is a problem

Thank you for that I will read now, good advice will ask as much as I can to find out what is happening for mum, she’s meeting me end of next week

 

[campervan21]

Long time posting so much has been happened

Mum has managed as long as we could with her in her own home, however, big lack of hygiene now on her part, not eating, refusing carers, mobility changed ,dramatic weight loss, falls, she is in hospital and deemed unable to return home.

We have a lovely room for her at the same nursing home my late father was in ,he received beautiful care, though this is a different situation, hopefully she will settle.
It is all sad, however, it's the best outcome for us all, especially mum
Feel drained from it all
Least now we know she is safe and looked after. Been a journey