now its mums journey

[campervan21]

I will be posting here to put down my thoughts as I go along with mum on her journey, as yet there is no diagnosis , however, what can I say, very confused mum, lost dad three weeks ago , he had vascular dementia due to a stroke two years ago, he also had four other serious illnesses. How my poor dad kept going I will never know.

He didn't really recognise any of us, four grown up children, we all did and still are doing our bit with mum, I went round in the week she couldn't remember if dad had died. I go round to do bits for her, she is still independent , quite vocal sometimes in her opinion.
Going round in the morning to see her with one of my brothers, we are planning window and carpet clean, she has a pet that has accidents on the carpet.

Please anyone feel free to join the thread, I have found tp so helpful with all the thoughtsnof others thatnare going through this terrible illness.

 

[LadyA]

Oh, Campervan. I'm so very sorry, both for the loss of your dad, and now for what seems to be coming with your mum.

 

[LynneMcV]

I'm so sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in.

To have been through this with your dad, then recently losing him - and now, potentially, facing another dementia journey with your mother, is absolutely heart-breaking.

Please remember to make time for yourself in all of this, you have barely had time to deal with what has gone before.

Thinking of you.

 

[campervan21]

Oh, Campervan. I'm so very sorry, both for the loss of your dad, and now for what seems to be coming with your mum.

Thank you LadyA yes it has been quite a journey, x

 

[campervan21]

I'm so sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in.

To have been through this with your dad, then recently losing him - and now, potentially, facing another dementia journey with your mother, is absolutely heart-breaking.

Please remember to make time for yourself in all of this, you have barely had time to deal with what has gone before.

Thinking of you.

Thank you lynneMcV for your kind thoughts, yes I will try to make time for myself, my hubby and family are brilliant at this time, I am ready for a few days away so I am working on that , saw mum this morning went with one of my brothers, he cleaned I chatted to her, I remember reading on another thread on tp, how tired people can get, so when mum started nodding off, I left her and helped my brother.
Strange to think two years ago my mil passed away, we lived with her and helped care for her, then she needed a nh, two weeks after her funeral dad went in hospital and here we are two years later.

 

[campervan21]

Cloudy here but fine now after all the rain ☔️ sis visiting mum today she takes her home cooking to put in her freezer , meals to last a week, good on u sis , better cook than me, I make a mean salad lol

 

[campervan21]

Had a walk to mums, had cuppa with her, put her blue bin out, I had to rummage through it she had put food items in so along with the flies not very pleasant, still she tries to recycle, just walked back home so now having another cuppa.

 

[jugglingmum]

Before I realised mum had dementia I couldn't understand why she insisted on putting things in the wrong bin. It was only afterwards I realised that she couldn't understand that I had different coloured bins to her and so that explained why she kept putting things in the wrong bin (she liked walking my dog so it was that which kept going in the garden waste bin - I didn't always manage to get it back out).

I did follow a bit on the other thread, like many I guess, I read quite a few threads, but only post on some so please don't think you are posting and no one is reading.

 

[campervan21]

Thank you jugglingmum
I read other posts and don't always comment, reasonably new to to, but have been reading threads quite some time I find it reassuring when I read other posts and find the wealth of advice on offer to everyone, very supportive community

 

[campervan21]

Brother rang me he's having trouble getting through to mum on the phone, she takes her hearing aid out when she's on her own, sis managed to get through so least she's ok , sis going tomorrow check on her

 

[campervan21]

Mum and sis coming for dinner today , had a tidy up, sis rang mum to remind her she was coming, she forgets everything bless her, but she remembered she is coming today, will make her a goody bag to take with her for her tea tonight. Lovely sunny ☀️ morning after all that rain ☔️

 

[campervan21]

Mum and sis came for dinner had lovely chat, mum had lost her glasses and hearing aid , sis found the hearing aid in a bag inside the tumble dryer, thebdryer is unplugged and never used I hasten to add, the glasses turned up several hours later, common theme now losing aids and glasses, other week was house keys, they were in the dustbin, found them after my oh sat mum down with a cup of tea and a biscuit and chatted to her, that's when he realised where the keys might be.

Have arranged with mum I will make an appointment for her at opticians, lets see what happens, she usually cancels Drs appointments after they are made.

 

[campervan21]

Optician appointment made I gave my number as second contact number, trouble is I know if they ring mum about anything she won't hear them know what they saying and put the phone down on them, will make the decision to ring back and put me as first contact , don't like taking bit of independence away from mum, but needs must I suppose

 

[cobden28]

Hearing aids not worn.

Brother rang me he's having trouble getting through to mum on the phone, she takes her hearing aid out when she's on her own, sis managed to get through so least she's ok , sis going tomorrow check on her

My Mum is 86 and although she doesn't have any form of dementia, like your Mum mine is also deaf and refuses to wear her hearing aids indoors 'to save the batteries' and when family are visiting she is reluctant at the very least to put her hearing aids in 'because we're family and we ought to know how to speak to her'.

It makes face-to-face conversations somewhat of a struggle and telephone conversations nigh on impossible .

 

[campervan21]

Cobden28
Doesn't it make conversations difficult, she can't hear on the phone full stop without aids, even worse than face to face with her I send to the audiology dept of the hospital and they post batteries out to her , which is helpful, now I have said it i will email them now so she got supply of them

 

[campervan21]

Went to mums at the weekend with brother, bless him he forgets mum has her own ways , oh well I sat with her chatting he cleaned, other brother turned up let's just say how many grown up children does it take to put back two net curtains out of four windows, lol, or cry out loud couldn't decide.
Saw mum yesterday told me how much she thought brother had done and saves her doing it, totally forgot us other two were there told me it all in her version, took her to my sisters for lunch lovely

Is it only six weeks since dad passed ☹️

 

[campervan21]

On another note strictly announcements

 

[Elle3]

Hi

Hi, it's lovely to see you are not alone and getting help with your mums journey. Like you I keep a diary of my journey with my dad but I chose to write it on a blog post, but it really does help to remember things as and when they happen.

Good luck.
Elle x

 

[campervan21]

Thank you elle3 not sure how to blog, lol yes lots of support with sister and brothers

 

[Margi29]

Hi

I have been posting as a form of a diary, it may help in future to look back ??

You could be talking about my story, reading your posts. Similar to you, lost my lovely dad to dementia following fall and two strokes.

Mum deaf as a post, regularly losing keys purse etc...

You made me smile though just how many people does it take to put curtains up, nobody in my house would have a clue , except me lol

I post frequently on Can I should I ?? . That's my form of diary, good luck on this long journey, so sorry to hear of your very recent loss x