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Not understanding what is and isn't a toilet!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by shughesnerys, Apr 17, 2006.

  1. shughesnerys

    shughesnerys Registered User

    Apr 17, 2006
    3
    Bristol, England
    Hi, I am new to this forum. I have joined as my grandmother on my mother's side has Alzheimers and I am trying to do whatever I can to support my mother, as I am 50 miles away from her, and cannot often do the day to day things.

    My mother is a nurse so copes really well with the incontinence, etc. however, my grandmother has recently started thinking various things are toilets, and starts to pull her trousers and pants down to go. Luckily my mother or father are usually around to stop her, but I just wondered if anyone else has experienced this with a loved one with Alzheimers?

    Any support would be appreciated, as she has started going to the toilet in the bath, the kitchen and as above, looking to her lovely Ercol chairs to go!!

    Thanks in anticipation. This site has been an enormous support for me and my mother already, so thanks!!

    Sarah
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    shughesnerys Welcome


    Is your grandmother on any medication ? as what you’re saying is what my mother use to do, with the right medication it stop,And I suppose depending on what stag she at with AD ,when my mother use to do that it was just at the beginning of her AD. 3 years on now....

    At the moment mum at rest pit , when at home sometime mum pulls her knickers down before getting to the toilet ,we use to it & just remind her to wait to she in the toilet to pull them down & she doing fine now
     
  3. shughesnerys

    shughesnerys Registered User

    Apr 17, 2006
    3
    Bristol, England
    Toilet issue.

    Hi, thanks for reply. Can I ask, what medication is your mother on? My grandmother is on Aricept/Domepezil and has only been on it (5 mg daily) for a month. Do you think we just persevere and hope with some prompting she will improve? Thanks so much.
     
  4. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    Surely, it's not that bad Margarita :D
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    My mother has always been on Memantine Ebixa 10mg , 5mg at the Beginning then went up to 10mg .


    It did work for me ,but a lot s and lots of prompting .

    I was in unknown world of the understanding that this was common thing for people with AD . I thought it only happen in the last stage .

    (I have to say that ,at that time I thought mum was going to die soon)


    My mum sister gave me nappies ,from a old lady she look after ,no way was my mum putting them on .

    I don’t know, but somewhere deep in side mum brain she may have forgot she done it , but I could see she was embarrassed, she would blame every one ,even the dog , but we both new it was her,I even slip on it & fall one morning & so did mum one night

    My daughter friends staying the night would go & have a bath & see phoo in the bath, yes I told mum of. I would cry in front of her about it ,in my lack of understanding, anger sets in, my teenagers scared, worried but then persevere , Fear , Millions prompting with love set come in, we got there at the end.

    Faith in mum & mum in me & the medication help 6 mouths down the road it stop & let me tell you 6 mouths can seem like years when your living it .

    You say your mum a Nurse so was my mum sister.
     
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #6 Margarita, Apr 17, 2006
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2006
    Noel


    I said
    Mum not in rest pit because of that .
     
  7. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    I know Margarita, that's not what I meant. I was making a joke, although not a very good one I admit!
     
  8. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    When Aunt spent a month in hospital right back at the start of her decline she would try and use the handbasin even though the loo was right next to it.
     
  9. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Prompting!

    shughesnerys,

    When dad lost the ability to remember where the toilet was it was like 'potty-training' a toddler. Even on hospital visits we could get him to a (toilet) 'door' and he would assume he was at the urinal (or worse! :eek: ) ....at home he seemed to think it didn't matter 'where he went'... and for the most times it didn't.... except when he realised later what he had done and it caused him embarrassment ...

    Difficult, horrible subject - but I can remember dad's pride when he 'managed himself' (well, at least that was his version of events!!)...

    I know there are other posts/threads about pulling down pants/undressing - is this necessarily a 'toileting thing'? Just an idea....

    Best wishes, Tender Face, x
     
  10. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Rest pits

    Noelphobic, don't apologise!
    Margarita! You are adorable!

    God bless everyone who every needs a rest pit! (Can I get one on eBay?):D
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #11 Margarita, Apr 19, 2006
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2006
    Thank you Tender Face & I admire your courage for standing up on any issue you Disagree on



    I get the Joke now :eek:

    Lynne kindly told me :) :) :) for me today A Joke a day keeps the blues aways ,Even an Unintended one :)
     
  12. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    618
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    Margarita hi,

    I think you are Gibraltarian? You are just brilliant - I live in a foreign country and could not even begin to put posts up in French... cannot spell - use the grammer or even find the words .....

    I liked rest pit - very much - it describes it exactly and is possibly where the word came from...

    I could murder Lynne for telling you as it gave me so much secret pleasure seeing a word used so well. You are very clever.

    Love

    Michael
     
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Thank -you Michael

    yes am Gibraltarian


    To sound more confusing I thought it was rest bite :rolleyes:

    I ask my daughter who went to university, she did not understand it when I said it, but when she read it she new what it meant & explained the right: pronunciation of the word.

    It was so Hard when younger to get ride of the Gibraltarian accent, & get the pronunciation right in English when younger, we all know how cruel children can be .

    Anyway

    It’s a wired word to me anyway; the Spanish is easier because as you sound it out is how you spell it.

    Como (meaning) how come?
    Como ta (meaning ) how are you ?
    One word in Spanish is about 2/3 in English :)
     
  14. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    618
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    Margarita hi,

    Oh no!!! Loved rest pit as 'pit' is a word I use frequently for bed - 'getting out of the 'pit'... It actually summed up exactly what so many people on this forum would like now and then....

    I think I said before I love Gibraltar - one of my best friends and my dearest cousin are both in the cemetery there - I just keep going back.. Love Spain as well - never got a long way past ' un poco bino blanco per favor' (notice I drop the v in place of a b!!!) but it is a lovely language and country...

    love

    Michael
     
  15. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    That it it’s all sorted now when you get your respite, your staying in La Linea which as you must know is just across the border from Gibraltar :)

    As the hotel in Gibraltar are far to over price:rolleyes: , would ant it be so much fun if all of us On TP could organise a meet up in La linea , 2 weeks of sun & freedom to go & come when we want ,we all let go of our guilt in leavening a love one in a respite

    The care home system would crash :eek:

    I was going to say this the last time you said -
    .but did not want to offend you (in humour ,& friendship I wanted to say )





    My grandmother, mum brothers sister are all in the cemetery as will & I like to imagine that your dearest cousin & friends are all together with my family haveing a glass of bino blanco & saying to themselves ,why the hell did we all worry ,stress ,so much when one earth ,life to short . we only get one go at life so hope them on earth ,live love & be merry as they wave to us from those clear blue meditationsky sky .


    The most lovely sight I saw when on the rock of Gibraltar, was as I look across the sea to the sky I saw the sun shining through the clouds forming a circle a yellow sun bean on to the sea & a littlie boat in the middle of it, I wish I had had my camera to have capture the moment, It was like the universe was saying to me, stop thinking worrying living in your mind, look out ,not within & see the wonders of the world :)

    Like watching those birds flying it is really amazing seeing them from so high up on the rock, its like there flying just for you .
     
  16. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    #16 Lynne, Apr 20, 2006
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2006
    :rolleyes: Sorry Michael, didn't mean to spoil the fun, but I didn't want Margarita to be the subject of a joke which she didn't understand.
    I was certainly not 'correcting' her (we have already exchanged :) messages) and totally agree that she is very clever.
    I only have very rusty O-level French from 40 years ago, about 10 words of German and about 5 of Spanish! I am full of admiration for anyone who is multi-lingual.

    :p Now get out of your 'pit' and finish decorating that new shower-room!
     
  17. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Lynn, I really did appreciate you telling me. I do hope you did not mind me saying that you told me .
     
  18. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    :p No problem Margarita!
     
  19. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    618
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    suitably admonished and still intending to paint the new shower rooms I am retiring to my pit - till drinks time!
    Love to you both
    Michael
     
  20. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,989
    Toronto, Canada
    Inappropriate toilets

    My mother has hit the stage of incontinence. We had to move a chair out of the bathroom (we used it when she brushed her teeth - she would brush longer if she were sitting down) when she sat down on it & had a nice loooong pee. All over the floor, soaked in the chair etc.

    So I would say, yes, this is part of the disease process. It's simply not being able to recognize the toilet. At least she remembered she was supposed to sit down. Not so bad.

    Joanne
     

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