Hi there. I've been registered for ages, but haven't really had much to contribute.
I have been trying to get help for my mother for over a year, I went to see her GP and she said to arrange for mum to have her over-65 check where she would have an ECG and a blood test to rule out physical issues then we would go from there.
When we saw the nurse she saw the note to do mum's ECG, but because I couldn't tell her in front of mum why it was needed, she didn't do it.
Come this year, I go to make an appointment for mum's over-65 check up only to be told they didn't do them and she would have to see the doctor, which she did.
I got up the courage to speak up to the doctor and it was the most unpleasant experience as mum got upset when I mentioned plenty of times when she'd forgotten recent events. Dr asked her what year it is, she didn't know. She asked mum the month, she didn't know.
Dr then said she would refer mum to the memory clinic and when I dropped her home I asked her to let me know when it came through and she said "I will, because you told all those lies about me" (!).
A week after that she had an appointment for the ECG and blood tests - the nurse said if there was anything wrong they would let mum know - they didn't.
Since then I have been to see her every week, and surreptitiously went through her mail to check for the appointment. Nothing. However I did see an appointment on her calendar but she couldn't tell me what it was for.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when I got a phone call from the Community Mental Health Team for Older People - someone had been round to assess mum and that is what the appointment was for.
The lady from the CMHT told me the assessment consisted of a memory test which mum failed and she had been asked by the assessor whether she could make an appointment for her for a CT scan, which she agreed to, and she agreed to the assessor contacting me. The assessor said mum had the appontment in her handbag, but when she turned up, mum didn't want to let her in. She said she asked her to complete some sentences, and all mum did was look at the books on her book shelf and write down the titles of them.
Also mum signed up to get her toilet and bathroom windows replaced, much to my relief as they are both rotten right through. This has been booked for weeks on end and I have kept reminding her every week that the men are coming tomorrow and that she will need to pay the balance of the money owed.
So I reminded her. Again. And she said she didn't want it done and didn't see why she should. I said she should have spoken up on the day the salesman was there. She said she did - she bloody didn't!
She said that she didn't know where the money was going to come from. I told her how much she has in her bank account. She said that wasn't the point.
She has had the contract for the work for at least three months sitting on the desk in her living room. She signed it. At any point she could have rung them, but she didn't. No one twisted her arm up her back - she agreed after I told her for the nth time how worried I was about the two windows being rotten right through and how I thought that before long either the window would fall out, or someone would be able to lift it out and get into her house. Plus it would be a magnet for people knocking on the door saying "I'll do that for you cheap love" - you hear stories about old people being frogmarched to the ATM for them to take out all their cash. With the new windows at least it won't be a magnet for bad people.
She even chose the privacy glass (one window is for the toilet, one is for the bathroom) and had the chance then to say "I don't want this done".
I can't force her. I don't WANT to force her. However if she backs out now I don't know where she stands legally.
I'm hoping she will have forgotten by tomorrow - every week when I do her shopping I have reminded her about tomorrow and in all that time she said nothing.
I am so stressed now - I have a Diazepam left over from when I had a mental meltdown in June and I will take it before I go over to see my mum tomorrow.
I will also make an appointment with my GP to see if I can get a prescription for Clonazepam or something similar to help me deal with her.
I have been trying to get help for my mother for over a year, I went to see her GP and she said to arrange for mum to have her over-65 check where she would have an ECG and a blood test to rule out physical issues then we would go from there.
When we saw the nurse she saw the note to do mum's ECG, but because I couldn't tell her in front of mum why it was needed, she didn't do it.
Come this year, I go to make an appointment for mum's over-65 check up only to be told they didn't do them and she would have to see the doctor, which she did.
I got up the courage to speak up to the doctor and it was the most unpleasant experience as mum got upset when I mentioned plenty of times when she'd forgotten recent events. Dr asked her what year it is, she didn't know. She asked mum the month, she didn't know.
Dr then said she would refer mum to the memory clinic and when I dropped her home I asked her to let me know when it came through and she said "I will, because you told all those lies about me" (!).
A week after that she had an appointment for the ECG and blood tests - the nurse said if there was anything wrong they would let mum know - they didn't.
Since then I have been to see her every week, and surreptitiously went through her mail to check for the appointment. Nothing. However I did see an appointment on her calendar but she couldn't tell me what it was for.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when I got a phone call from the Community Mental Health Team for Older People - someone had been round to assess mum and that is what the appointment was for.
The lady from the CMHT told me the assessment consisted of a memory test which mum failed and she had been asked by the assessor whether she could make an appointment for her for a CT scan, which she agreed to, and she agreed to the assessor contacting me. The assessor said mum had the appontment in her handbag, but when she turned up, mum didn't want to let her in. She said she asked her to complete some sentences, and all mum did was look at the books on her book shelf and write down the titles of them.
Also mum signed up to get her toilet and bathroom windows replaced, much to my relief as they are both rotten right through. This has been booked for weeks on end and I have kept reminding her every week that the men are coming tomorrow and that she will need to pay the balance of the money owed.
So I reminded her. Again. And she said she didn't want it done and didn't see why she should. I said she should have spoken up on the day the salesman was there. She said she did - she bloody didn't!
She said that she didn't know where the money was going to come from. I told her how much she has in her bank account. She said that wasn't the point.
She has had the contract for the work for at least three months sitting on the desk in her living room. She signed it. At any point she could have rung them, but she didn't. No one twisted her arm up her back - she agreed after I told her for the nth time how worried I was about the two windows being rotten right through and how I thought that before long either the window would fall out, or someone would be able to lift it out and get into her house. Plus it would be a magnet for people knocking on the door saying "I'll do that for you cheap love" - you hear stories about old people being frogmarched to the ATM for them to take out all their cash. With the new windows at least it won't be a magnet for bad people.
She even chose the privacy glass (one window is for the toilet, one is for the bathroom) and had the chance then to say "I don't want this done".
I can't force her. I don't WANT to force her. However if she backs out now I don't know where she stands legally.
I'm hoping she will have forgotten by tomorrow - every week when I do her shopping I have reminded her about tomorrow and in all that time she said nothing.
I am so stressed now - I have a Diazepam left over from when I had a mental meltdown in June and I will take it before I go over to see my mum tomorrow.
I will also make an appointment with my GP to see if I can get a prescription for Clonazepam or something similar to help me deal with her.
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