1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Not my perfect kidnap plan.....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Tender Face, May 9, 2008.

  1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    ...... but mum has been rushed into hospital this afternoon from the NH - after more than two weeks of asking GP and Intermediate docs and NH staff to take my concerns seriously that mum really did need medical investigations beyond the effects that infections were taking on her mental health alone I now have her in an Emergency Assessment Unit at our local hospital ....... this the result of me badgering for referral and results of blood tests taken at the NH only yesterday tea-time (by the visiting docs) showing serious concerns when initial results were phoned through to me late this afternoon ...... by which time a hospital bed and ambulance had already been booked .......

    Immediate concern was her dehydration ...... just wait til I get my hands on those 'fluid' charts they have been keeping at the NH .......:mad: and the Ambulance Crew that arrived were disgusted that I / we nearly got her out of there without one member of staff (who were present around the corridors and couldn't have failed to see the ambulance arrive as I did, let alone my waving attention to them ..... ) not bothering to get off their ar*es :mad: (sorry) and do ANYTHING -- including preparing essential paperwork which should have been completed as soon as her impending 'discharge' to hospital was known ..... One of the crew asked me 'How long do you think it would be before they noticed she was missing?' I have asked, and he has agreed willingly, to put in a formal complaint about the home as a professional.

    What on earth would have happened if I hadn't been able to get back there in time for the ambulance arriving?

    Mum is finally on a drip and being pumped with calcium and potassium ....... awaiting investigations ...... her memory ... well it's shot ......lucidity - even wakefulness - is almost gone ..... and I just cannot hold on to any hope that we will ever be anywhere near where we were before these infections struck her ..... stuck now because I can't visit/ring outside of scheduled times just now unless I get a phone call from the Unit .... but at least I know she is far better looked after and there might be some hope - other than seeing her waste away in an environment which simply didn't understand the meaning of 'care' ..... pretty as it was ..... if I can now get her physical needs addressed there may still be hope yet ...... But not for anyone in the NH when I have wiped the floor with them with the CSCI or anyone else who will listen ....... :mad:

  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    That is dreadful Karen. The more I hear the more I despair. Please keep us posted.
    Love xx
  3. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    ****** well done

    With our love Barb & Ron
  4. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    Hello Karen

    Well done for getting your mum into a place where she can receive what she needs. She's in the right place for now where she'll be cared for properly and you can stop worrying that what you are saying is being ignored. You will need that energy to deal with the NH and I am so glad the ambulance man will provide a statement.

    Wishing your mum a great recovery. It is amazing what re-hydration will do.

    Love Helen
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Good for you about CSCI you go for it xx

    I read in the CSCI regulation that they must be a jug of water at all time in they rooms, Get them on that, if they do not have the Jug fulled with water at all time .

    Lets us know how you mother getting on .
  6. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Karen,
    I am so sorry that your Mother has had to go through all that distress.
    My thoughts are with you both.
    Best wishes
  7. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Dear Karen,

    What an awful experience for you and mum, hope it is resolved and soon.

    Margarita, where does it say residents should have a jug of water? I have begged for one for my mum, it was agreed, but hasn't appeared, and the water in her en-suite is not drinking water, but I suspect she is drinking it anyway.

    Love to all

  8. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    I'm feeling angry on your behalf, Karen, but also relieved that your Mum is at last able to receive the attention she clearly needed. Love Hazel.
  9. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Karen

    Well done for getting mum where she should be, and I'm sure 24 hours of fluid and you will see some improvement in mum.

    Love and hugs

    Cate xxx
  10. Mrs Mop

    Mrs Mop Registered User

    Jan 19, 2008
    Well done Karen

    Hi Karen glad to hear your Mum is being properly cared for . There doesn't seem to be enough done by the authorities to make sure our loved ones are being cared for as they should be. What Margarita says is true but a full jug is ok only if the staff care enough to see that the person drinks some . I don't know how these people have the audacity to call themselves carers. Thinking of you and your Mum
  11. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    How I can identify with this statement....Karen I truly hope you have the fortitude to carry on. I wish you and your mum all the strength needed..... Caring thoughts, love Taffy.
  12. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    what you have experienced is truely shocking. I do hope that your mum improves. I'm so glad that you are going to pursue this serious neglect with the proper authorities. Without your fortitude in seeing this through it could happen to others in their 'care'.

  13. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Thank you for the 'well dones' although I don't feel I deserve them ... I wonder now had I just 'bundled' mum to A&E a fortnight ago she (not to mention me) would have been spared the angst of the last couple of weeks .... (that should also include everyone here who has listened to my outpourings!:eek:) I just read back on some of my own posts - including my concerns about dehydration and malnutrition when I was still doing what I could at home ... and how STUPID I was to think 24/7 care meant exactly that and that nursing home care could have done a better job than me ..... even if I couldn't be with her 'round the clock' ......

    I'm in absolute turmoil - furious with the NH - and even the docs - so much for 'avoiding' hospital admission in the first place because she has ended up there now anyway even more poorly than before .... :(

    On a positive note, mum is definitely brighter eyed today ... she was aware of how much attention she had had this morning from the nursing staff on the unit just helping wash and change into fresh nightie etc - her teeth looked like she had just come away from the dentist!!!!!! :) Couldn't remember whether she had been for an X-ray or not, but never mind! :rolleyes:

    But greatest news .... she has managed to eat a full banana for lunch !!!!!!! (Cartwheels, please!!!!)

    Drinks are on me tonight folks!!!!!!!:D

    With love and thanks for all your kind thoughts, Karen, x
  14. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006
    Hi Karen,

    glad things are looking up a little bit. Don't punish yourself for the last two weeks...you were doing what you thought was best. And it was you who eventually got mum to hospital now where it seems she is in good hands, clean, looked after, on food and drink. Pat yourself on the back for that. A day at a time now, to see what else needs investigating and then what has to be done for her in the way of care. Glad she's out of the NH, anyway.

    Take care, you've been doing so well under such difficult circumstances. Don't be too hard on yourself.
    Love, Tina
  15. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Well done, Karen!

    I've only just read your thread, and I'm delighted that your mum is in an assessment unit where she'll be properly cared for, and hed diet and fluids monitored.

    That NH sound appalling! I hope you manage to find somewhere better for her discharge from hospital, they're just not doing their job.

    Don't beat yourself up, you were following the advice of the 'experts', as we all have to do at times. Once you saw how bad things were, you've put them right. You've done your very best for your mum.

    I hope she continues to improve. Take care of yourself now, and try to have a rest.

  16. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    I 2nd that xxx
  17. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire

    You are doing the very best you can. Glad that mum is feeling happier. Keep up the good work.


    Margaret W
  18. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Cartwheels, Phew, done, the things we do for friends:D

    Karen I am so pleased for you that mum was a bit better today, I am sure she will gather in strength over the coming weeks.

    You have done a fantastic job in looking after mum, and done the absolute best you can, be proud of yourself.

    Much love and respect

    Cate xxx
  19. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Karen

    Just popped in to see if there was any update on mum, I hope she is continuing to improve. Thinking of you both.

  20. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    I am afraid things are not good. Initial hospial tests are confirming suspicions that there is more going on than the infections she was treated for just recently - one tumour confirmed in the bowel and investigations on her throat/gullet ongoing. We are refusing even bananas again and the only 'food' mum will even attempt to swallow is ice cream. Mum is understandably showing signs of upset when we manage any conversation ... poor thing repeatedly asks me anxiously 'Am I sleeping here again tonight?' (the changes from NH to Emergency Unit then to ward would have upset anyone?) and is fed up with 'those journalists' who keep coming trying to get stories to write (other people's visitors) ....

    On a positive note, mum is finally getting the attention she needs ... and being 'drip-fed' means we have got some space to get investigations done and then see if anything can be done for her. The nursing and medical staff have been quite wonderful and understanding of her dementia as well as attending to her physical needs with grace and dignity. Visiting is now very limited (due to the infection controls at the hospital as well as the intensive nursing needs on the ward she is now on) but at least when I'm not not there I can be confident of her care, if not her future.

    Love, Karen, x

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