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Not knowing times of the day

Mumzie

New member
Apr 2, 2020
2
After loosing our dad suddenly in July last year, we finally got a diagnosis for mum. She is already in the middle stages because the diagnosis came so late. Dad didn't want to take her to the doctors because she was always angry with him and he thought it would make things worse :( Mum now lives at home alone while social care insist we try all their care packages but she really needs to be in a care home. She is distressed every day and this current situation isn't helping. Fortunately, she doesn't understand what is going on, even though we've tried to explain countless times. I am now not able to visit her as my husband is in the high risk category but my sister goes in every weekend with her shopping and carers are going in 3 times a day but this is stressing her out as she doesn't like them and doesn't know when they are coming.
She has now lost the ability to recognise time . She goes to bed, gets up and has breakfast multiply times during the day and rings us between 16 -50 times a day to ask if we are taking her dinner over and every phone call we explain that the carers will prepare dinner on their lunchtime call.
I'm finding it very wearing and get cross with her more as time goes on. I know she can't help it and I don't know what to do to help her understand.
We've tried asking her to write notes but she can't spell very well now and then rings to ask what the note means!
I welcome any suggestions.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,701
Hi @Mumzie and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This is a great place for help and advice.

It must be so confusing to your mother to know what time it is, and she obviously see the carers as intruders in 'her' space. I think you need to keep on badgering social services, though I can well understand that at the moment they are very stretched and finding a care home place would be very difficult. Have you kept a record of all the phone calls, and other problems you are encountering just so SS see how difficult things are becoming? The key words to use are that she is a vulnerable adult who is at risk of harm.

Keep posting, and take care of yourself too.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,634
N Ireland
Hello and welcome @Mumzie

That must be very difficult for everyone and I wonder if it might be an idea to explain the situation to Social Services to see if temporary respite would be available to give everyone a break.
 

Mumzie

New member
Apr 2, 2020
2
Thank you for your replies. Things have moved on again already as the phone calls are coming all through the night now. She is seeing the GP on Thursday to look at some form of anti depressants for her but the GP agrees she now needs to be in a care facilities because she is in such a confused state. Just need to get social care on side too.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,099
Dorset
Unfortunately when The Banjoman’s GP stated that he needed residential care SS stated that he would only be offered it when they decided it was needed, no matter what the medical profession thought, so I hope you can get them to agree Mumzie.
 

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