My mother, who has not yet been fully diagnosed with dementia but clearly has the signs has been increasingly expressing concern about my father. A regular theme is that she wants to go back 'home', childhood home, packs a bag with say, nothing but shoes and tries to head off, and has succeeded going a mile or so on 2 or 3 occasions. She also does not at times recognise my Dad, she is even fearful of him at times because he is, in her words, 'this old man just comes into my house and sits down'. This has been going on for some weeks, with increasing conviction and yet in between these bouts she behaves as our mother and his wife would.
My concern tonight is that evening times her anxiety hightens and she does not want to stay in the house with him, wants someone to stay with her all night, she is fearful that he will attack her, even if she locks herself in another room. We are quite sure that he will not harm her but she is adamant. He is nearly 90, struggles to walk, has macro degeneration but he has become increasingly depressed and what with Mum's condition the relationship is very up and down.
Tonight, until exhaustion took hold, she kept up this fear of staying in her home all evening up to gone midnight. She was adamant that she'd rather sleep outside, in the fields, in a shed, anywhere but home. 3 of her children tried all manner of persuasion, diversionary tactits, keeping our distance, loving and cuddling, all sorts but to no avail.
This can't go on, we fear for her well-being, we fear she may just wander off, we fear she may harm herself, she has little care for herself at these moments, anywhere, anyhow but not in the house.
Reluctantly the question now is are we now looking at residential care? We can't go on like this, we can't have regular nights like this.
My concern tonight is that evening times her anxiety hightens and she does not want to stay in the house with him, wants someone to stay with her all night, she is fearful that he will attack her, even if she locks herself in another room. We are quite sure that he will not harm her but she is adamant. He is nearly 90, struggles to walk, has macro degeneration but he has become increasingly depressed and what with Mum's condition the relationship is very up and down.
Tonight, until exhaustion took hold, she kept up this fear of staying in her home all evening up to gone midnight. She was adamant that she'd rather sleep outside, in the fields, in a shed, anywhere but home. 3 of her children tried all manner of persuasion, diversionary tactits, keeping our distance, loving and cuddling, all sorts but to no avail.
This can't go on, we fear for her well-being, we fear she may just wander off, we fear she may harm herself, she has little care for herself at these moments, anywhere, anyhow but not in the house.
Reluctantly the question now is are we now looking at residential care? We can't go on like this, we can't have regular nights like this.
