1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. lindaj

    lindaj Registered User

    Jan 15, 2007
    Went to visit mum in hospital yesterday where she is being assessed. There she sat with some awful pyjama bottoms on, everytime I visit her she is wearing them, apparently all her clothes were dirty this has happened twice now. I only visited her on wednesday and took all clean clothes hung them in her wardrobe and in her drawer. I went and spoke to the nurses and asked if they would unlock mums bedroom door so I could check. There nothing in her drawers or wardrobe everything was in a bag to be washed, but it was full of clean and dirty laundry I do not know why this is happening it can't be mum doing this because she is disabled and not able to get about. I spoke to the nurses and they didn't know why it was happening either they said it must be mums helper who is getting mums clothes mixed up. I gave up I wasn't getting anywhere its not nice to see mum dressed in this way.
    I also think mum has lost some more weight while she has been in there she didn't look at all well.
    Not happy at all so I am going to have to visit more often now just to keep checking the clothes situation.
  2. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    This assessment is turning into a bit of a nightmare isn't it? Don't know what to suggest. Was going to suggest you put name tags on mum's things if you hadn't done already. But if they're mixing up clean and dirty clothes name tags aren't going to help.

    There have been a few things now that you're unhappy with. Perhaps it's time to talk to someone other than just ward staff? Is there a PALS service that covers the assessment place that you could talk to?
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hi Linda, I used to find that in my mother`s first home, drawers empty, mother wearing different clothes. It`s extremely upsetting.
    I hope this assessment is completed ASAP and you can get your mother some better care.
    Love Sylvia x
  4. lindaj

    lindaj Registered User

    Jan 15, 2007
    Thankyou for your replies I have just been informed that mum will be moved to her nh on thursday so hopefully keeping fingers crossed mum will settle in alright and start wearing her own clothes again. I bet they will be glad to see the back of me it seems like I am always complaining but I have to look after mums interest shes not able to do anything for herself.
  5. Lonestray

    Lonestray Registered User

    Aug 3, 2006
    Hi Lindjad, You keep fighting for your Mom. I know exactly where your coming from. Five years ago when my wife was in hospital I fouhgt almost every day with the staff. Some days I found her sitting in a chair with urine dripping from her on to the floor. Only after I got her out did I find they had dosed her up on drugs. Then I had some choice words for them in addition to a formal complaint. She walked into hospital, and every time I visited I asked about her being walked. I even tried to get her on her feet to walk her, for that I got into trouble and had a blazing row. Imagine how I felt when I learned she had been drugged, I remarked they and her must have been sleep walking.
    Clothing was a big problem in the NH. In spite of everything having a name tag in red I found her wearing other people's clothing which were also marked or tagged!
    The very day I took her home she was wearing a pair of someone else's socks with the name across the toes in large letters. These I handed over to her Doctor to make my point.
    Lindjad, you don't let anyone fall down in their duties towards your Mom, you and your Mom have paid, and are paying these people, enough is enough.
    Best wishes in your endevours and God willing your Mom will be much better out of hospital. Padraig.
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Linda, You hit the nail on the head. We have to be the eyes, ears and mouths of those who cannot act for themselves. I`m so pleased this episode of your ordeal will soon be over. Love Sylvia x
  7. cynron

    cynron Registered User

    Sep 26, 2005
    east sussex
    clothes missing

    I had the same problems as you when my husband was in hospital and his first N H . Missing clothes. They packed his case on leaving with strange clothes and some of his were missing.The NH could not find them, and did after much hassling from me refund some money so i could by him some replacements.

    He also went in walking and came out on an ambulance trolley unable to walk:eek:

    You have to fight your case or get walked all over.

    regards Cynron x x
  8. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    were having the same problems with my mum in her hospital, despite having a wardrobe full of clean clothes all labelled, she's always got "ward stock" on when we visit it drives us around the bend:mad:
    weve got mum her own washing basket for beside her bed so we could monitor her washing as we do it at home.
    when questioned we always get told "ive only just come on duty, ive been off a few days"
    dosent matter what the question thats always the answer!!

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