Not Eating

[meme]

my mother is still just sipping water..still at her home...still saying she feels "a bit wobbly" in the mornings but otherwise is "Very comfortable in her bed"...she sleeps all night from 6pm to 8.30 am..still can use the phone to call me all day long ( some amazing conversations and sadly a lot of the same question over and over..) I can only visit every other day as the 2hr journey takes its toll as I have osteo arthritis and sometimes cant walk too far if at all.....every morning I wonder what will be when I either ring her or open her front door.... or what the carer will find... ....it is surreal and terrible as each conversation or hug may be the last.. I want her to go to sleep and be with her sisters and mother......but as time passes I feel kind of frozen

 

[meme]

just got back from hosp appt for me...no messages on phone which is strange ..usually full...no calls on either phone...I am just using the silence/limbo (plus tv in background) to re group and see what the day brings...have no illusions and I think it will be same as same as...my mother has just phoned me..she sounds so vital and ok...she is amazing.....I think I must manage to visit her tomorow......

 

[limafoxtrot]

My wonderful Mum also refuses to eat, usually saying she's just eaten. I've just been back home for 2 weeks & stayed with Mum to sort out a care home for her. While I was there she ate very well, I put the meal on a bigger plate so the portion looked smaller & she ate nearly all her meal, sometimes eating it all, plus all of a desert! In fact the nurse came to weigh her while I was there & Mum had put weight on . If I knew in was going to be out when a carer was going, I would usually leave a note for them saying I would be cooking dinner for Mum. A couple of days I forgot to leave a note & Mum refused to eat for the carer, saying she was waiting for me & I was getting her something to eat, they would call me, so I had to go back to make her something. It seems Mum likes eating with someone there to eat with her but the carers don't have he time to do this. I even bought her the same food as she was eating while I was there but she is telling the carers she doesn't like it.
I'm back home & unfortunately Mum is back to saying she's just eaten when the carers go or just eats half of a small sandwich saying she not hungry

 

[meme]

just back from seeing my mother...she had a few sipps of hot chocolate...when I tell her she is in bed and not walking because she is weak from not eating for ages she is very suprised and says !"that's very silly..what can I do?" she is now wetting the bed over night and not getting to the commode much...so disposable bed sheet things ordered and more tena super pants..and to top it all, now we really need to use it a lot... her washing machine has broken today!!! so a new one ordered for saturday..my birthday!!!!!

 

[tina55]

Not Eating or drinking

Hi,

my mums dementia has now gone to the next stage. She has Vascular Dementia and has gradually been getting worst. Last week she was admitted to hospital with an infection and dehydration. She has now lost her mobility since being in hospital, refusing physio and food and drink. I managed to get her to eat grapes but yesterday she was not so keen so today I will try melon. We are getting her changed from residential bed to nursing bed at the home where she is resident but the paperwork!!! All she wants is to be back at the home, but the paperwork is causing a hold up and unfortunately the hospital want to move her to another ward and continuity of care is important to a dementia sufferer. The home cannot take her until the correct paperwork is completed. Why cannot it be more straightforward.

 

[13minerva]

non-eating

I have this problem too. My dad is 93 next week and was diagnosed with dementia 11 months ago.

It's a nightmare to get him to eat most of the time. A few mouthfuls and that's it. On occasional days he will eat constantly.

It's such a worry. He now only weighs 51kg and is nearly 6 foot tall. He looks so frail.

I try to tempt him with all sorts but to no avail.

Hope things pick up soon. Xx

Hello My sister is just the same but when we visit, which is usually every week: as we live in Kent and she is in a sheltered Housing complex in East London: We always say "Let's go to McDonalds for a treat" so far it's working: I have filled her cupboards with chocolate, peanut butter, cheese biscuits(which I tell her our mother loved with cheese)and ice cream/choc ices in freezer: plus a big box of quality street, telling her not to eat all of them at once:
This seems to work: it's a bit like talking as to my grandchildren: She says she hates meat but does't associate beefburger with meat.

 

[moonshadow]

My mom stopped eating on a hot summer day, 3 years ago. Her gerontologist prescribed anti-depressiva. He said, they would trigger boulimic episodes, so she will eat.

I sometimes questioned this kind of medicine, but three years later she still eats breakfast, lunch+salad+fruit, tea+sweet/or toast in the afternoon, yogurt +biscuits for dinner. Yet she is skin and bones... it's the dementia, isn't it?

 

[JoTee]

Hi, I'm Skylarker and I only signed up today!

I moved in with Mum to look after her about 2 1/2 years ago, boy it's been a learning curve! The latest thing is not eating, so I thought I'd come here for some advice.


I'm at my wits end. I've tried her with puddings and cakes but she's not always in the mood for them either. She likes the porridge I make her for breakfast, with fortified milk and honey, but I can't give her that all the time!

Has anybody got any suggestions?

Give her the porridge as often as she wants, try rice pudding, Jelly and full fat cream, apple pie and custard.

General thoughts are it does not really matter what the food is so long as food and fluids are being consumed.

Also contact her GP for suplements, they do puddings, fruit juice and thick milky types with different flavours.

A rich full fat diet, cheese and cream is a help to maintaining weight.

All will help but seek specialist advice if diabetic, perhaps GP can get a dietician involved.

 

[JoTee]

MIL in nursing home has pretty much stopped eating over the last week or so - I think it's a UTI as her hand is shaking and she's "doing that thing with her mouth" (My SIL would know exactly what I mean). She also appears to be very uncomfortable, but can't say where she hurts or even if she does have any pain.

The nurse made her some Complan this morning and she complained that it tasted disgusting (no it didn't, I tried some) and only managed about half of it with a lot of coaxing.

Yes, they're going to try and get a urine sample.

For some reason people's taste buds seem to be affected. A lot of people think there food tastes salty. Try something sweeter like Horlicks, perhaps put cream in it.

If there is the possibility of pain, is her oral hygiene being maintained, sore gums, sore teeth. It can be difficult to check but it needs checking.

If it's thought to be an infection a urine sample should be taken. If she wears pads then they can take a sample off the pad, I believe.

 

[JoTee]

Mr mum is in CH and eating very little has lost nearly 2 stone in the last month or so, they say they try to help but she sometimes gets stroppy and pushes them away. I went in yesterday and tried to help but she wouldn't eat more than a few mouthfuls (can't say I blame her it was all pureed and looked horrible) I had taken in some trifles which she used to love but only had a couple of spoons then no more. She has generally gone down hill very quickly lately.

Question is been at CH for 5 months now took a while to settle but seems to be ok now, her Dr thinks she will be better off in a NH as will get more help with eating and has said wants to move her. I am a bit wary about another move as thinking might make her decline more but if she keeps up like she is wont last long with no food in her anyway. Have no experience of NH are they better able to get people to eat? Not even sure SS will sanction move to NH as her mobility is not too bad.

Would appreciate anyone's thoughts I don't know what to do except keep taking in bits of food when I go to try and tempt her.

A residential home should be able to provide support at meal times. If she is not eating then they need to think outside the box. Find something she likes, cut toast into small fingers with jam or her favourite spread on it. Make soups, go to the chippie for a meal. Give her cakes and cheese and double cream, boiled egg in a cup with butter
etc. Use smaller portions but more frequently.

Nursing Homes do have more staff but Local Authorities need a Nursing Assessment or similar to see if needs meet the criteria for placement there. However, a problem with eating will probably remain.

Have a think about how to tempt her, it does not need to be full meals served up at breakfast, lunch and teatime so long as she eats something.