Not coping that well...

[gigi]

Don't know why because Eric is generally sleeping well and we haven't had too many disrupted nights.

The circular conversations are back ..as are the films. "Sound of Music" has played all day today..and last night too.

I'm coming to the end of my tether again...and feel like a constant moaner and a real wet blanket.

Managed a short time in the garden thisafternoon and did some weeding....Eric did come out to look for me and sat with me for a while..but the conversations about his mum, our house, his pension and inheritance all started again. The garden meant nothing to him.

Tonight I feel so desperate.

I've phoned my GP and am seeing him on Wednesday.

We do have sitters and carers and Eric goes into regular respite..I know I'm one of the lucky ones who has a lot of support.

But I am really struggling with my feelings.

Summer is coming and I dread the thought of yet another summer cooped up in the house watching TV and being trapped.

xx

 

[JayGee]

Hi Gigi
Sorry you are depressed - It seems as if we are just trying to pass the time away and everyone on the outside is really living life! Sending you love
June

 

[sallyc]

Hi gigi. I don't think it's always about how much support we have. Sometimes it's all just too hard anyway, whatever we have in place. And we all have our own things that make it harder for us. For me i have young children, so i have got so that i can just tune out from whichever tv program or film they are watching at the time. My weakness is if grandad shows even the slightest sign of feeling unwell - that will get me every time. Even if it's just a headache, or a little stomach ache. It's enough to tip me over the edge. Sending you (((HUGS))) and the hope that you'll soon be feeling more able to cope with things. Love Sal xx

 

[Helen33]

Hello Gigi,

I'm so sorry that you are struggling my friend. Some days are really very difficult and it sounds like this is one of those days for you. There will be good times ahead Hang on in there Gigi. It will be good to discuss how you are feeling with the GP especially if the feeling doesn't lift.

Love

 

[lin1]

Sending you a ((((HUG))))

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Gigi, I am so sorry you are feeling below par. I hope the trip to your GP's serves you well on Wednesday.

Take care of yourself. You are a special person on TP. x

 

[gigi]

Thanks,

I'm not sure where "fed up" ends and "depressed" begins..

It's a rough and rocky and long road for us all.

It seems as if we are just trying to pass the time away and everyone on the outside is really living life!

Well, the grass is always greener and all that. But I know what you mean.

Everyone else has their own battles and I think
I'm back with my own battle...

Do I keep Eric at home or look for permanent care for him?

I just don't know how much longer I can live my life like this.

xx

 

[Vonny]

Dear Gigi, so sorry you're down, but I'm hardly surprised. Repetition really grinds you down.

Do you think the time is coming where Eric goes into the home permanently? He seems to settle there quite well during respite, could they take him for longer periods?

I hope your doctor can help, but I don't know what can be done apart from giving you more and longer breaks.

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you xxx

 

[Skye]

Dear gigi

Sounds as if you have hit rock bottom again. I'm glad you have an appointment to talk to your GP, and I hope he understands a re-think is called for.

You have respite coming up, but it's a long time since the last one. Can you get more frequent repite? Or is it time to think again about full-time care?

This is making you ill, and that shouldn't be. Please make sure the GP knows how badly you are feeling.

When are you coming to Scotland?

Love,

 

[danny]

Hi Gigi,I suppose I can say this because I do not care for a member of my own family,I also have put my foot in a few things recently so one more won`t make much difference

You do not have to do this Gigi,there are alternatives and no one will think any different if you take another path.

I will be quite honest and say if it were me in your shoes I would take them off.

There,now everyone else will come along and tell you things will get better etc,and I will be the baddy again!!!

I am just speaking as I find Gigi.

Hope you do the best for you.

 

[larivy]

hi Gigi i know the feeling well and OH NO! not the sound of music i have found taking mum out helps alot dont know if you are able to take Eric out at least you see a bit of the outside world then hope you have a better day tomorrow love larivy

 

[ROSEANN]

Dear Gigi
Sorry things are not going well again.
Please do not let your self get so far down that it takes weeks to get well again.
This is what I did and I am still not right and now I have all the problems of the hospital to deal with and I do not have the energy to deal with it all.
Ask for more respite and see what they come up with no harm in trying.
I hope you feel better soon.
Love Roseann xxx

 

[Goingitalone]

Oh, Gigi,

You are always there for everyone else and I've been so grateful for your advice, being a newbie to all this myself.

It IS hard caring for someone with dementia and I know from the posts I've read how hard it can be for you.

I hope the doc can help you on Wednesday. And I hope you can get more frequent respite, or maybe a longer stretch of respite to allow you to really get some rest.

Sending you a (((BIG HUG)))

Maggie

 

[Bookworm]

Tonight I feel so desperate.

Just thinking of you+++

 

[happisoo]

i know the feeling.....

Hi Gigi, I was just writing a whole load of feelings down and thought i'd share them with folks on this site. Not sure if I will as there's rather a lot!. Suffice to say I truly I empathise with you. I am feeling very trapped and smothered, stuffed into a box, my mind is jelly-fying and i feel like a prisoner in my own home. It is a desperate, lonely and bleak place. My mother seems to be the same mostly, but I am running out of ability to be kind, nice, friendly, caring to her. I find I am sharp, cold, frustrated, irritated, angry and weak willed. She defeats me sometimes and recently more than most.In the beginning (about 18 months ago) I could deal with much of the dementia) but now it's a chore to be friendly every day. I dont know what to do either and I have my husband to help and 1/2 days off when brother comes to stay and looks after her. Some of my suffering is all the things mum does are what i experienced as a child and now as a 50 year old am depressed about the fact that they are still affecting me. I cant seem to break away from her or the feelings when she is around. If you have any inspiration, revelations or insight i'd be very grateful for the sharing. Love ((((HUG))) and empathy to you. xxx

 

[ChristineR62]

Dear gigi

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a bad time - have a big HUG from me too.

It's such a hard job, and so difficult to understand just how hard unless you have to do it yourself. We all understand here.

I wish I knew what to say that would make things better for you both. But maybe it is time to start thinking about residential care, when the periods of coping get shorter and the really bad times like this start to happen more frequently.

You have to take care of you, too.

Love
Christine
xxx

 

[BeverleyY]

Hi Gigi

Sorry to hear you are feeling down.

This illness is truly awful for both the sufferers and the carers.

Best wishes to you.

Beverley x

 

[donkey]

gigi you must start to think of what you would like for yourselfand maybe the time has come to think of permanant respite, i really feel for you and maybe some respite now may make things alot better and you can think more clearly about the situation, sending you a hug xxx

 

[nellbelles]

Gigi

I've never watched the 'sound of music'

I have counted the number of sentences that Tom used today 'IT WAS FIVE' over and over again

So a group hug of at least two is called for.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Gigi:
I am so sorry you are feeling so low. Others have said the right things and maybe after your next respite you can get your ahead around what to do next. I do hope your GP is helpful on Wednesday - I know you have confidence in him.

I am happy to join in a group hug!. And for those having a bad time remember your 'rainbow'.
Love