Not a fan of Christmas

[Seaholly]

You must do what is right for you. A polite 'very kind of you to offer, but I have already made my own plans' is all you need to say. You don't even need to feel obliged to divulge your plans!
Christmas is about goodwill to all - not just those who want to celebrate by over-consumption.

We had our first non-traditional Christmas last year and it was the best in a long time. For the first 3 years after Dad died, we tried for mum's sake to stick with the way we always did it but it was too much for her to take with the dementia and for 3 years it ended in tears for her.

So, last year, she had a roast on her knee in the living room with just 2 of us and loved every minute of it. The other family members also did their own thing, their own way and enjoyed themselves too

 

[MartinWL]

Last year may be repeated this Christmas for me, I will have to spend it with my dad, and cook the Christmas dinner, but it is hardly going to be fun. Nobody is likely to want to join us, it isn't fun chatting with a PWD when you have to be careful what you say. As my mother is in a care home she will be conspicuous by her absence, so it will be a day of sadness I expect. If this were not necessary I could spend a nice day with a friend, but that's just not on. It could all be worse!

 

[Arty-girl]

Wow! What lovely replies! Thank you all for making me feel a whole lot better about wanting to spend Christmas on my own. I'm hoping that, by Christmas, I can get back into doing a bit of painting and drawing as I haven't felt much like doing that over the past two years. Thank you again.

 

[cobden 28]

My elderly Mum (90, and with early-stage Alhzeimers) has always expected to see me on December 25th and was very miffed when my ex and I told her we'd rather have that day to ourselves but would visit on Boxing Day or New Years Day instead. We either went to hers for dinner or had her come to us as she didn't drive - she had her own car but always refused to use the motorways and claimed to be frightened of getting lost if she drove the non-motorway route to us.

In 2019 she was taken into hospital on the morning of December 25th with diabetes problems and was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment whilst in there; she didn't come home until mid-February 2020, just before the pandemic started. In June 2020 I had to sell my car so I am now unable to drive to visit Mum; to get to her house involves a train journey plus taxi from the train station to her house as she lives at the top of a long & very steep hill with the local train station at the bottom of the hill and over the Christmas period any sort of public transport is really out of the question, isn't it?

Earlier this year Mum was again in hospital for a few weeks but this time the MCI had advanced to the stage of it being early-stage Alhzeimers and with the state of her confusion and general forgetfulness this seems right - although when I see her I can have a resonably lucid conversation with her. Now with Christmas coming up in a couple of months I'm starting to worry about when to visit Mum; it won't be possible for December 25th because of the lack of public transport which she won't like but will have to accept so unless she can be taken to visit her friend/carer on that day she'll be alone over Christmas which is very sad .