• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Nocturnal activities

JackiP

New member
Apr 10, 2021
8
0
Mum has been in a home for four months now and I have been told that she wanders a lot in the night. Last night I got a call to say that mum had got out of bed and wandered into the bedroom of a recently admitted gentleman. They were found in a compromising position and I was told that one of the staff was then posted in the corridor for the rest of the night to stop my mum doing this again. Apparently she tried to get back into his room several more times.
the home have said that they have kept them apart for the rest of the day and that they have moved the gentleman tonight so he is not so easy to find.
My question is; should there be more supervision from the home overnight? I was surprised that she was able to get out of her room so easily (she is mobile but unsteady and falls a lot) and what I the National safeguarding guidance (if any) for looking after vulnerable adults.
this is the first time she has done this and is completely out of character, but I assume this is yet another stage of dementia that home staff have to deal with every day.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,766
0
Southampton
maybe they will look at different methods of alerting them that your mums out of bed at least. i knew of a lady who wanted to be with a gentleman resident. their inhibitions go and they do things they wouldnt necessarily do before dementia. at least they are aware of it now and can be alert to your mums wandering.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,921
0
Hi @JackiP, wandering and going into other residents rooms is fairy common. Inhibitions can break down too due to dementia. My mother had some reckless behaviour when she lived independently, going drinking with random men in a local pub and inviting at least one of them home. I think she forgot she was ninety and saw herself as a flirtatious young woman. This carried on when she moved into care, not helped by the fact she got muddled as to which was her room and thought a strange man was in her bed. She started a relationship with another resident much to his wife’s annoyance. The solution was to move mum to a different floor. This has worked well, due in part by mum’s dementia moving to a different stage.
Now the home are aware they should be more on the look out for your mum leaving her room and should be able to guide her back to bed before she wanders into another resident’s room.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
764
0
My Mum has sensors in her bedroom which alert staff when she is moving around her room in the night. They are linked to the computers at the desk which is manned continuously overnight so someone can pop in to check on her very quickly. She did settle down eventually and I think she is now sleeping better..
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,044
0
N Ireland
When I viewed a local CH with a view to respite care I warned them that my wife was an occasional night time wanderer. The system outlined by @Lynmax was the one they used to manage this issue.
 

JackiP

New member
Apr 10, 2021
8
0
My Mum has sensors in her bedroom which alert staff when she is moving around her room in the night. They are linked to the computers at the desk which is manned continuously overnight so someone can pop in to check on her very quickly. She did settle down eventually and I think she is now sleeping better..
Thanks, I did think that this was what they should have in place so wanted to see what systems other cate homes have used. Thanks for taking the time to reply
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
749
0
There is an idea that the elderly should not be permitted to be intimate with others. There must be safeguards against abuse of course, but on the face of it this sounds like a tale of consenting adults. If one party does not have capacity to consent to sexual relations then I would agree this should be prevented, but unless I missed something we have not been told that. Just a note of caution.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,766
0
Southampton
There is an idea that the elderly should not be permitted to be intimate with others. There must be safeguards against abuse of course, but on the face of it this sounds like a tale of consenting adults. If one party does not have capacity to consent to sexual relations then I would agree this should be prevented, but unless I missed something we have not been told that. Just a note of caution.
if they are confused then it is definite safeguarding. even if a husband/wife/ partner went to the home and the person was confused, then having intercourse is a safeguarding issue. if they are in a carehome with dementia, it could show what stage they are at. they lose their inhibitions in not such a safe way. even worse if they have forgotten they are married or in partnership with another person who dosent live in the home. they could then complain about it. nothing to do with age, disability etc but whether they both know how to have a reasoned decision
 
Last edited by a moderator:

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
749
0
@jennifer1967 I agree with the first part of what you say. My point was that from the information we had, admittedly sparce, we could not say that either party was unable to consent due to confusion. I don't think that care homes should be the guardian of morals. If a resident has mental capacity and wishes by their own free choice to commit adultery with another resident who also has capacity to choose, that's their private business. If however a resident has forgotten that they are married I would say they failed the capacity test on the second criterion ( remembering information given in relation to the decision).
All I am saying in this thread is that we should not jump to conclusions and curtail a person's right to a private life without a good reason, even if we believe their behaviour to be immoral by our own standards.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,766
0
Southampton
@jennifer1967 I agree with the first part of what you say. My point was that from the information we had, admittedly sparce, we could not say that either party was unable to consent due to confusion. I don't think that care homes should be the guardian of morals. If a resident has mental capacity and wishes by their own free choice to commit adultery with another resident who also has capacity to choose, that's their private business. If however a resident has forgotten that they are married I would say they failed the capacity test on the second criterion ( remembering information given in relation to the decision).
All I am saying in this thread is that we should not jump to conclusions and curtail a person's right to a private life without a good reason, even if we believe their behaviour to be immoral by our own standards.
i have no objections on any grounds moral or otherwise if they are not confused, have capacity and able to know what they are consenting to. a carehome is not a guardian of morals but to ensure the safety of their residents in which ever way is needed. i have experiences of both , consential and confused situations when i worked in a carehome. its their home but with caring for those residents that have dementia comes the responsibility of knowing the whole picture and what capacity they have. to keep them safe.