1. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Vic has been doing a little dusting for me today and looks exhausted. I have noticed this more and more the slightest exertion and he sits down says he has a headache and looks drained.

    I usually make him a drink and within 15 mins or so he has forgotten all about it.

    He had a general check up recently and heart, BP etc fine also had routine bloods and again ok.

    I tend to think it is the strain of concentrating on the task... what do you think?

    Linda x
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Dear Linda.

    Dhiren is the same. He goes for the paper, comes home and vacs, then he is exhausted. He keeps asking why he gets so tired and I wonder if it is part of his diabetes, which isn`t being well controlled.

    He doesn`t sleep during the daytime and goes to bed quite late, around midnight. He finds it very hard to get up in the morning, slow processing? and if we have an earlyish appointment, I have to make sure everything is prepared the night before.

    I don`t know whether it is the AD, the diabetes or general weakening. He is also unsteady and very slow.

    He is 75 and was diagnosed in September 2005. How does that compare with Vic?

    Love xx
     
  3. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Hi Sylvia

    Well he goes to bed early between 9-10pm would go earlier if I let him. He doesn't sleep in the day. He has no other medical conditions. He has just had his 73rd birthday and yes is very slow in everything he does.

    He has a Crossroads lady ( very experienced with the condition) and she takes him out each week but she is concerned as he doesn't make any conversation with her now but does reply, also he walks behind her just as with me he won't walk alongside. However he enjoys his outings at the time but she does feel he has worsened (enough to phone me for a chat).

    Linda x
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Hi Linda.

    Dhiren also walks behind me when we go out. I try to hold his hand or link him, but he seems so heavy, as if he`s dragging his steps.

    He talks to me, but not to others, although he answers if spoken to, usually out of context.

    He has just asked what he is doing here. He feels like a prisoner, is bored to tears as it`s too cold to go out. I have asked him to prepare some sprouts and he`s sitting at the kitchen table doing them. He would never have sat down at one time. I had to encourage him to find a knife, a pan and the sprouts for himself, as he stood there waiting for me to present him with everything he needs.
     
  5. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Sound very similar don't they?

    Vic always waits for me to tell him or put things out for him makes me feel as if he is asking my permission!

    Only thing he really enjoys is going out for a meal, funnily he eats anything put in front of him even things he prefered not to have .

    What a strange illness this is and oh, how I miss the hugs and cuddles he was so affectionate and all that has gone now.

    Linda x
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Snap ! Dhiren will say `can I have some?` or `is there enough for me?`

    He also loves going out for meals. How strange!

    He will return affection but never offers it, although he does cling tightly to me at times. But when he has lapses, he is totally switched off from me.

    When was Vic diagnosed? I notice you joined TP 9 months before me.
     
  7. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Diagnosed 2003 but I knew for some time before that he had problems but as he is 10 years older than me made the mistake of putting it down to age.

    Yes, he too returns the affection but don't you long sometimes for it to come from them.

    Linda x

    PS really enjoyed chatting with you today!
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    This gets `curiouser and curiouser` as Alice said. :D

    Dhiren is 10 years older than me, and I too put it down to age.
     
  9. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    .

    All the above quotes relate to us too!! Dreadful isn't it?

    I have noticed a big downturn this week. A day of 'Am I in M...?' - do I have to tell someone I am not going to SCHOOL!!?

    My hubby is 78 so we are going a long way back!!! Thought we had come back to his Mum and Dad's house after we had shopped on Friday. So he was going back at least 60 yrs.

    David is 78 and at 70 he was mistaken for a 60 yr old - now Iguess one might think he is more than ten years older than he is.

    Yes I DO miss the cuddles. Best wishes all Jan
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Does anyone think these downturns are due to the cold weather and shorter days?

    It`s so much harder to keep Dhiren occupied, at least we got out when it was warmer and lighter. I have always been affected by less natural daylight.
     
  11. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    I'm glad this has been brought up.I've been off work this week and it's given me a chance to see how things really are-Eric always tells me he's hoovered /dusted etc and I know he hasn't. He doesn't go out alone walking/doesn't cook etc. this week I've seen that all he does is sleep. He can make a cup of tea/coffee and that's it.He can dress himself and says he's washed/shaves when he feels like it/showers when he's pushed(no more baths)Takes ages in the bathroom (always has been private about these things)He gets up in the morning and sleeps. gets dressed and sleeps. Has breakfast then sleeps. Watches tv then sleeps-that's the pattern of the day but that's been coming on over the summer.His mobility is now poor and he uses his arms to propel himself out of his chair. He will fall asleep in company. Sleeping seems to be his escape. He'll go to bed at 11.30 and sleep until 7.00-having slept most of the day-if he wakes earlier than that he's had a bad night.There's no connection with medication as far as I can tell-it seems to be the disease. My concern is that he has almost fallen a couple of times this week while I've been here-tomorrow I have to leave the house at 8.00 to go to work and leave him on his own for 5 hours until i return. Am seriously considering giving up work because of this-maybe that's a case for a different thread. All I know is that this week at home has made me realise that things aren't how hwe says they are. Sorry to go on but am worried.
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Something none of us have mentioned here is depression. Could this be the cause of some of the lethargy.

    I`ve tried to imagine how I would feel if I had Alzheimers, and wonder if I would have the heart to live life `normally` , or would I be hard pressed to find a reason for getting up in the morning.
     
  13. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Eric is on antidepressants and has been for years-long before AD was diagnosed. I mentioned his lethargy/drowsiness to the consultant last week-he shrugged his shoulders and said "he's not geeting any younger". Mentioned it to CPN and she said she thought it could be the disease. I'm not complaining about it although ~Eric does get embarrassed if he falls asleep in company as he did today. i just worry more and more about leaving him alone. Usually when he first wakes up after one of these "sleeps"(and they are very deep) he is quite disorientated for a while and very confused. concerned because the sleeps are becoming more often and deeper. Because he's no longer active the muscles are wasting on his legs-sometimes I think he's going to dissolve into his chair. It may be a way of shutting out the world-whatever the cause I think i should be thinking about stopping work to be with him-anybody got any feedback on that one. All the "experts" say I should carry on working for "my sake"-but Eric is my concern and I have divided loyalties here.How can I do my job properly when I'm worrying about him back here? Would really welcome some input
     
  14. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Gigi,
    Have you got a support worker ? Local A.S. Branch can help, princess Royal Trust, Help the Ages, Age concern. there is support out there who will stay with your husband, whilst you are at work.#If and this is only my personnell opinion, If I was not disabled and unabled to work, I would be out there like a shot for the break from the A.D. work for 5 hours. it is a big decision but I would think very carefully about it before you gave in your job. This is only my personel opinion.
    I wish you all the best Christine
     
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Dear Gigi.

    You are in a bit of a Catch 22 situation.

    Caring 24/7 is very lonely and very isolating. You may often wish for some `normal` interaction and social chat.

    Going to work gives you the break from caring, the social interaction and gets you out of the house, but you worry about Eric, probably most of the time.

    I was doing the school run with my grandchildren, just a couple of hours morning and evening 3 days a week, but I had to stop because Dhiren was really morose on his own. He would ask over and over agian if I had to `work tomorrow`.

    I miss the contact I had with my grandchildren, I miss the chats i had with parents and grandparents in the playground, I miss the exercise of having four daily 20 minute walks, three times a week, and gained weight.

    But it`s better that I`m at home. I know what`s happening, I`m there in case of anything untoward happening, and have less stress about being out.

    Now I couldn`t leave him for more than one hour, and definitely not on a regular basis.

    Only you can make tha decision. There are pros and cons whatever you do.
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Dear Gigi.

    You are in a bit of a Catch 22 situation.

    Caring 24/7 is very lonely and very isolating. You may often wish for some `normal` interaction and social chat.

    Going to work gives you the break from caring, the social interaction and gets you out of the house, but you worry about Eric, probably most of the time.

    I was doing the school run with my grandchildren, just a couple of hours morning and evening 3 days a week, but I had to stop because Dhiren was really morose on his own. He would ask over and over agian if I had to `work tomorrow`.

    I miss the contact I had with my grandchildren, I miss the chats I had with parents and grandparents in the playground, I miss the exercise of having four daily 20 minute walks, three times a week, and gained weight.

    But it`s better that I`m at home. I know what`s happening, I`m there in case of anything untoward happening, and have less stress about being out.

    Now I couldn`t leave him for more than one hour, and definitely not on a regular basis.

    Only you can make tha decision. There are pros and cons whatever you do.

    Good luck.xx
     
  17. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Interesting how this thread had gone as I too found things worse after the hour changed (did last year too). Vic not happy about going out in dark so if we need to try to go in daylight and stay out. Next week taking him to a male voice choir concert which he loves but will need to take him somewhere for an early meal nearby then go to the concert.

    Today he has peeled some carrots and fed the birds and now sitting. He has a jigsaw on the go but takes very little interest in it.

    Linda x
     
  18. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Sorry to have interrupted this thread with my own fears about "to work or not to work". It is a catch 22 and I'm mulling it over-thanks for 2 different views on that-it's a battle between my heart and my head. Feedback is appreciated. Can i go back to the lethargy? It's a fair comment re the loss of daylight hours-but I read about your other halfs peeling carrots/setting tables/going out with you-this is all lost to me. Eric sits in his chair(which is looking a bit the worse for wear). TV guide by his side. thisafternoon a friend comes to take him to hit a few golf balls-he wouldn't go. He seems to be getting more confused by the day-and more lethargic. Very withdrawn-no motivation-but glad to see me home and enjoyed a hug and a kiss. Was confused because it was dark and I suggested we put the lights on-he thought that was a good idea. Could he be brewing an infection? He is literally sitting the days out and any suggestion of doing anything seems to be too much trouble for him. I FEEL he just wants to sit there and have me around to "do"-I "see" that he is not able to do these things for himself-oh dear!
     
  19. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,568
    Kent
    Gigi, why don`t you ask to have a word with Eric`s consultant, by yourself. You might get a few answers, it`s worth a try, at least.
    Love xx
     
  20. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    I do so understand what you are saying. My husband has spells of just that - then he goes through a 'guilt' patch and keeps asking 'what can I do to help'. This morning I said 'would you like to polish the kitchen table?' - the reply was 'yes, but later'. That means 'no he does not want to do it' but at I did not reject his offer! (Hope that bit makes sense to you).

    David does not watch tv. does not walk more than 25 yds., he is always tired. He does read!!!((???)) - we get 10 books a week from the library. He tends to choose the ones we have just taken back so it is a bit of a farce. At least with the so called reading he is 'occupied'.

    As discussed in a previous thread he does enjoy a meal out but that is getting harder because of his mobility and confusion.

    I do not believe this 'lethargy' is due to other health problems as bloods, heart, etc. are checked regularly.

    The dreary days do make it difficult but David was like this even when the weather was bright and sunny. So I do believe it is the Alz. and if I am honest I would prefer it this way to him being aggressive and agitated.

    Sorry for the long post - to say very little. :confused::confused:
    Jan
     

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