My mum is in the early stages of dementia and lives on her own in a council run bungalow. My sister lives nearby, but I live 140 miles away. Myself and my sister are really concerned as my mum takes money out of her account (a considerable amount), when she meets a "friend for lunch". This person has been selling my mum really cheap silver jewelry and charging a lot of money for it. I was very polite, but spoke to this woman to stop her from selling it to my mum. She has stopped, but although my mum isn't buying it now, her money has still gone when she gets home. My sister asks her what she has done with it, but my mum can't remember. We both think that this woman is taking money from my mum, but we cannot prove it. We are also suspicious of this woman due to a couple of hasty comments, she made when my mum asked her "what do I owe you". Any advice someone can offer to help us deal with this would be gratefully received.
Newbie to this site. Wanted to say hi and ask for advice please.
- Thread starter NickyKaren
- Start date
Do you and/or your sister have LPA? If not, please get that arranged as soon as possible. If there is any way you can limit the amount your mother withdraws, that would be good.
Hi, thank you for the advice. We do have an LPA it was registered a couple of months ago. We have moved most of her money into a savings account that is in her name, but she can't access. My sister is also monitoring her bank account. When we have raised concerns with mum about money and the fact that she can't remember where it has gone, she replies with "it's my money and I will do what I want with it". However, my sister and I are really worried.
Kind regards
karen
@NickyKaren Well done for moving most of her money away from her access. I know it seems a bit cruel but it is the best thing you can do. Can your sister arrange it so that only a minimal amount is left in the account your mother can access? Say £50 - £100? Or whatever you feel is suitable. Make that a weekly allowance perhaps. Is your mother using the withdrawn money to buy groceries or anything like that? Does your sister do a weekly shop with her? These ideas may not work for you.
Thank you for your advice Joanne
A weekly allowance seems like a good idea, we will have to try it and see how it works. My sister does do a weekly shop for her and her bills are all paid by direct debit, so if she has a minimal amount of money that sounds like it would work. Many thanks for taking the time to reply to my question.
Karen
A weekly allowance seems like a good idea, we will have to try it and see how it works. My sister does do a weekly shop for her and her bills are all paid by direct debit, so if she has a minimal amount of money that sounds like it would work. Many thanks for taking the time to reply to my question.
Karen
Does your mother's "friend" know you are now monitoring her bank account and spending? If not, find a way of letting her know.
My mother had a similar "friend" who used to regularly take her shopping - it appeared that my mother then paid for the friend's purchases as well as her own. When I told the friend I was starting to monitor the account via my LPA, she suddenly disappeared into the ether, no more shopping trips. However your mother could also be hiding/stashing/losing the money, I am pretty sure my mother did that too. I know that one day she took money out at the cashpoint then five minutes later forgot and went to the counter to take out some more.
Limiting the amount she has access to should sort out both issues, although be prepared for her to grumble about you 'stealing her money'.
My mother had a similar "friend" who used to regularly take her shopping - it appeared that my mother then paid for the friend's purchases as well as her own. When I told the friend I was starting to monitor the account via my LPA, she suddenly disappeared into the ether, no more shopping trips. However your mother could also be hiding/stashing/losing the money, I am pretty sure my mother did that too. I know that one day she took money out at the cashpoint then five minutes later forgot and went to the counter to take out some more.
Limiting the amount she has access to should sort out both issues, although be prepared for her to grumble about you 'stealing her money'.
Thank you for the advice, I think it would be a good idea for my mum's "friend" to know that my mums bank account is being monitored. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if she was just misplacing money. I will definitely have a word with mums bank. Thank you again. Karen
